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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 21, 2018)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2018 FEATURES New woman causes concern Dear Annie: My brother-in-law, I don’t want to support this? I think it’s “Ted,” and his wife decided to call a huge mistake for the family to move it quits over the holidays after being in with my brother-in-law, but it’s not together since high school (about 25 my place to say. My biggest concern years). Their relationship was very is that a 16-year-old girl would move strained and was more of a room- in with a man whom her mother mate situation than a marriage for at barely knows. My brother-in-law least 15 years, getting worse would never hurt her or touch DEAR every year. His wife moved her, but still it seems inappro- priate. Am I reading too much out of their house in Feb- ANNIE ruary, and he immediately into this? I don’t even want went on dating sites. About him bringing her to my house four months ago, he started without her mother. My hus- band is extremely upset with seeing a woman he had met me for not being supportive of online. Before they even his brother’s relationship but met, she was sending him does see there is something racy photos and text mes- Lane sages. He is now completely Annie wrong with a child’s mov- Creators Syndicate Inc. ing in without her mother. — hooked on her. He doesn’t Extremely Concerned have any kids; she has four, Dear Extremely Concerned: from three different men. All the kids, at one point or another, have had This situation is wonky every which issues with self-harm or depression. way. If your husband can’t see that, We’ve witnessed the mom giving one he’s got his head in the sand. What concerns me the most is the well-be- of her children alcohol. She and Ted are already plan- ing of all of this woman’s children. ning on moving in together. She It’s devastating to hear that children lives about two hours from here. She are engaging in self-harm. It’s dis- won’t be moving in until Decem- turbing that she was giving one of ber, but she has asked whether the them alcohol. I encourage you to 16-year-old girl can move in with document and report any maltreat- Ted now, before school starts, so she ment to your local child protective doesn’t have to switch schools half- services agency. To find the perti- nent contact info for your state, visit way through the year. Am I being unreasonable because https://www.childwelfare.gov, and click “Topics,” “Responding to Child Abuse & Neglect” and “Reporting.” Dear Annie: We see and hear of so many folks struggling with addic- tion issues of all types, yet frequently, a major component is missing. Many addicts have an undiagnosed and untreated mental health condition that is the cause of the addiction. Our son began using drugs as a teenager to treat his (undiagnosed at the time) bipolar disorder and thus stunted his brain growth/maturity. After several starts and stops in facilities and despite our own love and care, he died of a heroin overdose at age 26 (three years ago). His forever-17-year-old brain could not grasp the concept of con- stant treatment from the medical com- munity, and he possibly would have lived out his life in the type of struggle described by “Sad Stepmom.” In addition to Al-Anon, I would like to suggest support groups from the National Alliance on Mental Illness as other resources to guide those strug- gling to understand another compo- nent of addiction. — Mom in Louisville Dear Mom: I am so sorry for the loss of your son. You raise an import- ant point, that addiction can be a symptom of mental illness. Thank you for mentioning NAMI. Readers who would like to learn more can visit https://www.nami.org. 3C TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Take heart and keep working. Your excellent efforts will even- tually be seen, acknowledged and awarded, though perhaps not until you’ve reached a kind of critical mass on your own accord. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The most difficult thing to prioritize — the thing that people over- look time and again — is the love they already have. Get this right and you’ll be getting a lot right. In fact, everything else will fall into place. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Typically, a thing you have no control over is not your problem. If it bothers you, the problem is the bothering and not the thing itself. The solution will be an understanding and a reckoning that happens in your mind. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Letting go of the need to control anyone but yourself will liberate your energy and put you in a more loving, receptive mode. The magic motto is, “To each his own.” GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The time line feels more like a continuum now because when one thing ends, another picks up right where that left off. If you want to take a break and a breath, you’ll have to willfully carve that out. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Your big plans are getting even bigger, which, oddly enough, will have you focusing on dozens of very small but crucial details today. These are the efforts that practically guarantee an unforgettable experience. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’re the “wise” for whom “a word to” is usually sufficient. Today you’re so tuned in that you don’t even need the word. A slightly raised eyebrow is more than enough for you to get the info and react accordingly. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). There are questions people can handle and then there are questions that are akin to opening Pandora’s box. They overwhelm and create chaos that can’t be put back. Think twice before you ask. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). There’s so much you want to do with this weekend. But if you try to do everything, you’ll end up doing nothing of note. Your ideal move is to pick one focus and do it well. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). There’s a reasonable-sized cosmic shift happening and however you feel about what’s going on, you’re likely to feel differently about it tomor- row. So hold on and enjoy the roller coaster. Ride it out until the end. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’re a great friend. Your kind words and support will really make a difference to another person. Your luck will double when you offer the same sort of encouragement to yourself. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Take advantage of the astral magic offered today by acting as though you already have what you want. It will feel so fantastic to appreciate your great fortune that you will find it’s actuality quite irrelevant. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 22). You’ll be able to pour hundreds of hours into the thing that is your joy. More excitement this solar year will include: solving a mystery and later being rewarded for it, seeing the something you planted ages ago make a life-changing difference for a stranger, and finally hearing the loving words written on your heart. Aquarius and Leo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 17, 42, 9 and 26.
