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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (May 21, 2018)
6A FEATURES Mom needs boundaries Dear Annie: I have been in a I’m tired. relationship with my fiance for I have tried to talk to my com- seven years. When we first started panion. Have you noticed I have dating and I met his mother, she called him “fiance,” “boyfriend” cried and said, “Take care of him.” and “companion”? That’s because Mind you, he’s 52 years old. I I have no idea what to call him. didn’t think anything of it. Well, When I ask what we’re doing, he gets angry and stubborn. six years later, I can’t DEAR It’s a pattern. count all the incidents of Really, I know this drama and manipulation ANNIE man and I are not going that she’s created. She’s incredibly over- to marry. I am not his bearing. She comes over wife; this is not my moth- er-in-law. But I want my for dinner at our house time with him. every Saturday night, I just want to make and my boyfriend goes to him understand that I her house throughout the Lane need my space and that week. She has many chil- Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. dren and grandchildren in I’m not happy with her the area but calls him for dynamics involving our everything. relationship — though of course When my boyfriend and I I want him to have his time with have gone on weekend getaways his mom. to the coast, she’s wanted to be How do I explain this in a bet- included. The few times he told ter way than I am doing now? her no, she cried and said, “You I have been in counseling and know I love going!” I understand thought I received excellent needing someone, but shouldn’t advice, but I haven’t made any progress in the situation. — Am I there be boundaries? I tried to be open in the first Doing It Right? few years of the relationship — Dear AMIDIR: This isn’t a calling her, reaching out — but it matter of your needing to explain only made things tenser. Things things differently; it’s a matter that I could overlook at first I find of his needing to listen. You’ve difficult, at best, to deal with now. already tried communicating clearly, calmly and directly with him about your feelings, multi- ple times. You’ve seen a therapist about the issue. You’ve adjusted your expectations and made com- promises. Meanwhile, all he’s made are excuses. Ask him to go to couples counseling to work through this (admittedly thorny) issue. If he values your relationship, he’ll do whatever he can to make it work. Otherwise, I’d recommend taking some time and space for yourself — because if you’re the only one fighting for the relationship, what are you really fighting for? Dear Annie: “Still Daddy’s Little Girl” implied that the lack of a high school diploma makes her newly laid-off father less employable. You mentioned several ways she could help her father get another job, but you did not men- tion helping him get his GED diploma. It’s never too late to get a GED diploma, and doing so can be a huge boost to one’s self-es- teem and employability. — Karen H. Dear Karen H.: Great point. It’s never too late to get your GED diploma. Visit https://ged. com for more information. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, MAY 21, 2018 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). No one can understand all that goes into being another person. We may know something of a per- son’s challenges and responsibilities, but we can never know it all — a fact that helps us respect one another today. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). There’s some- thing so beautiful about needing less out of a situation — or, better yet, not needing anything from it. Objectivity allows you to see where the opportunities lie. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’ll be in a position to guess “who done it.” When questioned, innocent people can get just as rattled as guilty people. In this case, it will be better to acquit all than to accuse the wrong person. In a related matter, be careful not to confuse acceptable with extraordinary. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’re right in step with all that’s going on around you in the world. You spot the worthy trends, note the buzzwords and adopt the most useful aspects of the prevailing style. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Glamor- ous jobs can be horrible and the jobs no one wants to do can be dreamy. So don’t be quick to judge. You’ll do what needs to be done in the classiest way you can think to do it. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The action is like a train today, rushing forward with great power. One switch can head things in an entirely different direction. One crossing can stop the action in its tracks. CANCER (June 22-July 22). With so many uncontrollable factors involved in finding your way, you’d do well not to worry about too much. Handle what’s in front of you with an excellent attitude and life will open favorably to you. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Many will try to tell you what you need, feed you a vision of a “new and improved” you, or supply a so- called better way of going about life. But you have to stop and ask yourself — how do they know what’s best for you? LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). If you’re spending just about every waking moment trying to make this existence work out according to plan, you’re not leaving much room for ser- endipity to swoop in and give you a twirl. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The things you find luxurious don’t decorate the pages of popular magazines. These items are random and specific to you. The more you connect with them, the richer you’ll feel today. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Proverbially, there will come a day in which the last shall be first, assuming that the last even care about such things. The truly enlightened, probably wouldn’t. Rank and order will have a bearing on today’s proceedings. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (May 22). This solar return brings new levels and kinds of sharing. You’ll share a belief and make a friend. You’ll share an activity and bring lots of love into your life. You’ll share a goal and change the world. Special moments include an award in July and an investment in September. You’ll bank on what you learn. Cancer and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 8, 20, 27 and 31. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). It’s good to rattle the power structure once in a while in the name of justice. Without checks and balances, things get far off-balance indeed. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE