6A
FEATURES
Mom needs boundaries
Dear Annie: I have been in a I’m tired.
relationship with my fiance for
I have tried to talk to my com-
seven years. When we first started panion. Have you noticed I have
dating and I met his mother, she called him “fiance,” “boyfriend”
cried and said, “Take care of him.” and “companion”? That’s because
Mind you, he’s 52 years old. I I have no idea what to call him.
didn’t think anything of it. Well, When I ask what we’re doing, he
gets angry and stubborn.
six years later, I can’t
DEAR
It’s a pattern.
count all the incidents of
Really, I know this
drama and manipulation
ANNIE
man and I are not going
that she’s created.
She’s incredibly over-
to marry. I am not his
bearing. She comes over
wife; this is not my moth-
er-in-law. But I want my
for dinner at our house
time with him.
every Saturday night,
I just want to make
and my boyfriend goes to
him understand that I
her house throughout the
Lane
need my space and that
week. She has many chil- Annie
Creators
Syndicate
Inc.
dren and grandchildren in
I’m not happy with her
the area but calls him for
dynamics involving our
everything.
relationship — though of course
When my boyfriend and I I want him to have his time with
have gone on weekend getaways his mom.
to the coast, she’s wanted to be
How do I explain this in a bet-
included. The few times he told ter way than I am doing now?
her no, she cried and said, “You I have been in counseling and
know I love going!” I understand thought I received excellent
needing someone, but shouldn’t advice, but I haven’t made any
progress in the situation. — Am I
there be boundaries?
I tried to be open in the first Doing It Right?
few years of the relationship —
Dear AMIDIR: This isn’t a
calling her, reaching out — but it matter of your needing to explain
only made things tenser. Things things differently; it’s a matter
that I could overlook at first I find of his needing to listen. You’ve
difficult, at best, to deal with now. already tried communicating
clearly, calmly and directly with
him about your feelings, multi-
ple times. You’ve seen a therapist
about the issue. You’ve adjusted
your expectations and made com-
promises. Meanwhile, all he’s
made are excuses.
Ask him to go to couples
counseling to work through this
(admittedly thorny) issue. If he
values your relationship, he’ll do
whatever he can to make it work.
Otherwise, I’d recommend taking
some time and space for yourself
— because if you’re the only one
fighting for the relationship, what
are you really fighting for?
Dear Annie: “Still Daddy’s
Little Girl” implied that the lack
of a high school diploma makes
her newly laid-off father less
employable.
You mentioned several ways
she could help her father get
another job, but you did not men-
tion helping him get his GED
diploma. It’s never too late to get
a GED diploma, and doing so can
be a huge boost to one’s self-es-
teem and employability. — Karen
H.
Dear Karen H.: Great point.
It’s never too late to get your
GED diploma. Visit https://ged.
com for more information.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, MAY 21, 2018
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). No one can
understand all that goes into being another
person. We may know something of a per-
son’s challenges and responsibilities, but we
can never know it all — a fact that helps us
respect one another today.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). There’s some-
thing so beautiful about needing less out
of a situation — or, better yet, not needing
anything from it. Objectivity allows you to see
where the opportunities lie.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’ll be in
a position to guess “who done it.” When
questioned, innocent people can get just as
rattled as guilty people. In this case, it will be
better to acquit all than to accuse the wrong
person.
In a related matter, be careful not to confuse
acceptable with extraordinary.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’re right in
step with all that’s going on around you in
the world. You spot the worthy trends, note
the buzzwords and adopt the most useful
aspects of the prevailing style.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Glamor-
ous jobs can be horrible and the jobs no one
wants to do can be dreamy. So don’t be quick
to judge. You’ll do what needs to be done in
the classiest way you can think to do it.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The action
is like a train today, rushing forward with
great power. One switch can head things in
an entirely different direction. One crossing
can stop the action in its tracks.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). With so many
uncontrollable factors involved in finding your
way, you’d do well not to worry about too
much. Handle what’s in front of you with an
excellent attitude and life will open favorably
to you.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Many will try
to tell you what you need, feed you a vision
of a “new and improved” you, or supply a so-
called better way of going about life. But you
have to stop and ask yourself — how do they
know what’s best for you?
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). If you’re spending
just about every waking moment trying to
make this existence work out according to
plan, you’re not leaving much room for ser-
endipity to swoop in and give you a twirl.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The things you
find luxurious don’t decorate the pages of
popular magazines. These items are random
and specific to you. The more you connect
with them, the richer you’ll feel today.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Proverbially,
there will come a day in which the last shall
be first, assuming that the last even care
about such things. The truly enlightened,
probably wouldn’t. Rank and order will have
a bearing on today’s proceedings.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (May 22). This
solar return brings new levels and kinds
of sharing. You’ll share a belief and make
a friend. You’ll share an activity and bring
lots of love into your life. You’ll share a goal
and change the world. Special moments
include an award in July and an investment
in September. You’ll bank on what you learn.
Cancer and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky
numbers are: 4, 8, 20, 27 and 31.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). It’s good to
rattle the power structure once in a while
in the name of justice. Without checks and
balances, things get far off-balance indeed.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE