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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (April 10, 2018)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, APRIL 10, 2018 FEATURES TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE Divorce blocks grandma Dear Annie: I am hoping that aries for family members regard- you can help me solve this prob- ing what she will do in retirement. lem. My son recently divorced the I can speak to the importance of mother of his two children. My for- this as someone who has guarded mer daughter-in-law has decided my free time in retirement. Many to unfriend me on Facebook and family members and friends talk negatively about me to others. assume that the newly retired per- son will have nothing I would like to still be able DEAR to do and will be bored to show my friends pic- tures of my grandchildren and lonely. And 50 years ANNIE from her Facebook page. ago, that might have been I am very sorry that their true. But today, most of marriage did not endure. us retirees have hobbies I have not treated her neg- and activities that keep atively. Do you have any us occupied, and we feel suggestions that would confident enough to treat help me reconnect with ourselves to the luxury of Annie Lane her? — Blocked Out sleeping in if we want to, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Blocked Out: after years of having that The divorce was recent, luxury only rarely. and the wounds are fresh. When I love my family members, she speaks negatively about you, and I love my grandchildren, but that’s probably her pain talking. I am determined to maintain those Rather than call, text or email, take boundaries and protect my abil- a gentler, less invasive approach: ity to finally live a life I choose. Write a letter. Tell her exactly what I want to be a grandmother, not a you told me — that you’re sorry baby sitter or a surrogate parent. I assume this woman’s chil- the marriage ended but you still care about her and the grandkids. dren think she will be bored and Once she has had some time to lonely, and they probably like heal, she may be better able to see the idea of having the grandchil- the benefits of having you in her dren with someone they can trust without question. But that doesn’t children’s lives. Dear Annie: I agree that “Dis- mean Grandma should give up her tressed in Utah” should set bound- long-anticipated freedom. And if 5A By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Grandma’s husband, who wants her to be a full-time servant to his elderly father, believes that his father’s having care is so import- ant, perhaps he should quit his job instead and take care of his own father. I’m guessing her hus- band would be more than happy to pay for a housekeeper or order Meals on Wheels if faced with that option. After being retired for a while, if “Distressed” feels she’d like to spend a day a week with her grandchildren, she certainly could offer that option to her kids — but it’s hers to decide and to offer, not theirs to expect or demand. — Love Being Retired Dear Love Being Retired: Beautifully said. Bravo for boundaries! Dear Annie: In response to “Just Saying,” who holds the door for female customers and then stews if they queue ahead of him: When you don’t want to be passed, simply enter first but hold the door ajar behind you for the next cus- tomer to take. It’s still a nice ges- ture, for which women today are unlikely to fault you. — Adaptable Dear Adaptable: This is the sort of solution I like: practical and polite. I wish I’d thought of it. Thanks for writing. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You want to be in the conversation, not the star of it. You want to be seen, not feared. You want to serve and be served, not acquiesced to. Aim to hold your own and you’ll stay right where you want to be. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). It is natural to want to bask in the indirect glory of a friend’s win, a partner’s achievement or a child’s accomplishment. But you are more likely to celebrate people for who they are, not for how successful they are. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). When people don’t live up to our hopes, the fault is usually in our expectations. People are generally just be- ing themselves and cannot help if that doesn’t match up with others’ incorrect notions. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You won’t always make the right decision. And when you’re the leader, it’s even harder to recover from a poor decision. But you’re doing your best. That’s the important thing. Also important: Don’t waver, and don’t get defensive. difference. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’ll hear stories of adversity overcome. The reason you identify with the heroes is that you are one, too, and more than capable of the same sort of victory. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). It’s always a pleasure to watch another person grow, but when that person is older than you, it’s even more touching: maybe because it’s unex- pected; because it gives you faith in the ever evolving nature of humanity. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Your tenden- cy lately is to be stricter than you need to be, especially with yourself. In a sense, it keeps you on track, but over time this could inspire a rebellion. Consider easing up. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ll observe a lot of waste around you, mostly because people are ignorant, misinformed or haphaz- ard in their management of resources. They need you. Give it your best shot. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Your load is heavier because of a relationship. Is that fair? Maybe not. But you agreed to this arrangement, either verbally or implicitly. There may be a way to change the arrangement and still keep your word. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and yet it’s also the most difficult to swallow. It’s weird to observe people trying to be like you. Hopefully you won’t mind it too much when it happens today. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You don’t have to try to be unique. You’re effortlessly original. You’ll love what happens when you take the pressure off of yourself to be anything other than that which you can’t help but be. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (April 11). You’ll be spotlighted for something you do beauti- fully; then you’ll be connected with others who have related talents. You’ll co-create something you all will be proud of. The financial deal you make in June will be great for your personal life, too, as long as you consider people for their character and heart above all else. Libra and Taurus adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 30, 27, 9, 16 and 40. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). It’s mostly going just fine, but for the small part that isn’t, you’ll take responsibility. You know you can’t control what others do, so you’ll work on your part of it. That’s more than enough to make a FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE
