THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, APRIL 10, 2018
FEATURES
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
Divorce blocks grandma
Dear Annie: I am hoping that aries for family members regard-
you can help me solve this prob- ing what she will do in retirement.
lem. My son recently divorced the I can speak to the importance of
mother of his two children. My for- this as someone who has guarded
mer daughter-in-law has decided my free time in retirement. Many
to unfriend me on Facebook and family members and friends
talk negatively about me to others. assume that the newly retired per-
son will have nothing
I would like to still be able
DEAR
to do and will be bored
to show my friends pic-
tures of my grandchildren
and lonely. And 50 years
ANNIE
from her Facebook page.
ago, that might have been
I am very sorry that their
true. But today, most of
marriage did not endure.
us retirees have hobbies
I have not treated her neg-
and activities that keep
atively. Do you have any
us occupied, and we feel
suggestions that would
confident enough to treat
help me reconnect with
ourselves to the luxury of
Annie Lane
her? — Blocked Out
sleeping in if we want to,
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Dear Blocked Out:
after years of having that
The divorce was recent,
luxury only rarely.
and the wounds are fresh. When
I love my family members,
she speaks negatively about you, and I love my grandchildren, but
that’s probably her pain talking. I am determined to maintain those
Rather than call, text or email, take boundaries and protect my abil-
a gentler, less invasive approach: ity to finally live a life I choose.
Write a letter. Tell her exactly what I want to be a grandmother, not a
you told me — that you’re sorry baby sitter or a surrogate parent.
I assume this woman’s chil-
the marriage ended but you still
care about her and the grandkids. dren think she will be bored and
Once she has had some time to lonely, and they probably like
heal, she may be better able to see the idea of having the grandchil-
the benefits of having you in her dren with someone they can trust
without question. But that doesn’t
children’s lives.
Dear Annie: I agree that “Dis- mean Grandma should give up her
tressed in Utah” should set bound- long-anticipated freedom. And if
5A
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
Grandma’s husband, who wants
her to be a full-time servant to his
elderly father, believes that his
father’s having care is so import-
ant, perhaps he should quit his
job instead and take care of his
own father. I’m guessing her hus-
band would be more than happy
to pay for a housekeeper or order
Meals on Wheels if faced with
that option. After being retired for
a while, if “Distressed” feels she’d
like to spend a day a week with her
grandchildren, she certainly could
offer that option to her kids — but
it’s hers to decide and to offer, not
theirs to expect or demand. —
Love Being Retired
Dear Love Being Retired:
Beautifully said. Bravo for
boundaries!
Dear Annie: In response to
“Just Saying,” who holds the door
for female customers and then
stews if they queue ahead of him:
When you don’t want to be passed,
simply enter first but hold the door
ajar behind you for the next cus-
tomer to take. It’s still a nice ges-
ture, for which women today are
unlikely to fault you. — Adaptable
Dear Adaptable: This is the
sort of solution I like: practical
and polite. I wish I’d thought of it.
Thanks for writing.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You want to be
in the conversation, not the star of it. You want
to be seen, not feared. You want to serve and
be served, not acquiesced to. Aim to hold your
own and you’ll stay right where you want to be.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). It is natural to
want to bask in the indirect glory of a friend’s
win, a partner’s achievement or a child’s
accomplishment. But you are more likely to
celebrate people for who they are, not for how
successful they are.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). When people
don’t live up to our hopes, the fault is usually in
our expectations. People are generally just be-
ing themselves and cannot help if that doesn’t
match up with others’ incorrect notions.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You won’t always
make the right decision. And when you’re the
leader, it’s even harder to recover from a poor
decision. But you’re doing your best. That’s the
important thing. Also important: Don’t waver,
and don’t get defensive.
difference.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’ll hear
stories of adversity overcome. The reason you
identify with the heroes is that you are one,
too, and more than capable of the same sort
of victory.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). It’s always
a pleasure to watch another person grow, but
when that person is older than you, it’s even
more touching: maybe because it’s unex-
pected; because it gives you faith in the ever
evolving nature of humanity.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Your tenden-
cy lately is to be stricter than you need to be,
especially with yourself. In a sense, it keeps
you on track, but over time this could inspire a
rebellion. Consider easing up.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ll observe
a lot of waste around you, mostly because
people are ignorant, misinformed or haphaz-
ard in their management of resources. They
need you. Give it your best shot.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Your load is heavier
because of a relationship. Is that fair? Maybe
not. But you agreed to this arrangement, either
verbally or implicitly. There may be a way to
change the arrangement and still keep your
word.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). They say that
imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and
yet it’s also the most difficult to swallow. It’s
weird to observe people trying to be like you.
Hopefully you won’t mind it too much when it
happens today.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You don’t have
to try to be unique. You’re effortlessly original.
You’ll love what happens when you take the
pressure off of yourself to be anything other
than that which you can’t help but be.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (April 11). You’ll
be spotlighted for something you do beauti-
fully; then you’ll be connected with others who
have related talents. You’ll co-create something
you all will be proud of. The financial deal you
make in June will be great for your personal
life, too, as long as you consider people for
their character and heart above all else. Libra
and Taurus adore you. Your lucky numbers
are: 30, 27, 9, 16 and 40.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). It’s mostly going
just fine, but for the small part that isn’t, you’ll
take responsibility. You know you can’t control
what others do, so you’ll work on your part
of it. That’s more than enough to make a
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE