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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (March 16, 2018)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, MARCH 16, 2018 FEATURES Resource down the drain Dear Annie: My roommate Dear Water Waster: You could has an annoying habit. Every time suggest to your roommate that he he uses the bathroom, he keeps buy a fan or a noise machine so he the water running. We live in a can get the effect of running water drought-ridden area, and I don’t without the waste. But at the end of want to think about the amount of the day, bathroom habits are highly water he wastes each day. We’ve personal, and you can’t control lived together successfully your roommate’s. So the DEAR for just over a year now, most practical advice here: without any real fights. I Be the change you want ANNIE don’t want to make a big to see in the environment. deal out of this, but I do Compensate for his over- use of water by reducing want him to get the impact your usage. Visit https:// of leaving the faucet on. We wateruseitwisely.com for have separate bathrooms, some creative ideas on so the first time I heard how to do that. the running water was a Lane Dear Annie: This is in few months into living Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. response to “Mom Run- together. I casually asked ning in Circles,” whose about it, and he said he’s been self-conscious of bathroom daughter is in her 20s and con- noise since he was little. I didn’t stantly goes to her with problems want to push it too much because it yet seems uninterested in solutions. Years ago, I became a volunteer seemed to be a sensitive issue, but I mentioned the drought and how for a crisis line. Before we picked it might be a waste. He agreed but up a phone to help, we had 60 hours didn’t change his actions. He pays of training by psychologists and the water bill, and I pay the cable, other educators so that we could be so it’s not a matter of money. But effective in dealing with our call- I find myself super aware of every ers. I, being a parent of four chil- time he goes to the bathroom, which dren, learned a great deal that stuck is not a habit I want. Annie, I’m not with me. One of the major things sure how to approach him about this I learned was to not give out solu- again or how to stop caring so much. tions to a problem. Children whose parents are Got any advice? — Water Waster willing to solve their problems for them turn them into adults who rely on others to do the same thing. When children have a math problem that they need to solve, do you give them the answer? No! To be successful in math, they have to learn the process and come up with the answer. When helping adults with prob- lems, we ask, “Have you been in this or a similar situation before? How did you deal with it? Were you successful?” If you solve people’s problems yourself, you weaken them in the long run. If you aid people in solving problems them- selves, you help to strengthen them. The daughter of “Mom Running in Circles” doesn’t need therapy; she needs someone to listen and help her to see the solutions that she can come up with. If you want independent children, help them to learn to solve their own problems. It may make you feel good as a par- ent of children to solve their prob- lems for them, but not so much as a parent of adult children. — Not the Solver Dear Not the Solver: So well- said. Thank you for sharing your insights from parenthood and your time as a volunteer on a crisis hotline. I agree totally. 3C TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Anticipation can enhance or detract from an experience. The wait can make the experience seem more amazing, or, if it wasn’t worth the wait, under- whelming. Before you play the waiting game, calculate your odds. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Take the rela- tionship on your terms, not the other person’s. Hopefully both of your terms match up pretty well so you don’t have to make a big deal out of this. But if it happens that you have to choose, choose yourself. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’ll prove your value to others then add more value and then double that. It’s really not for them. This is like the reps a bodybuilder does to get into top form. Your reps are building your character. CANCER (June 22-July 22). As for grabbing the brass ring, the way to do it is to take a calculated and confident leap. Don’t impul- sively lunge for it: You may lose your balance. If you’re not quite ready this time, let it pass. Wait until it comes around again. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You’re getting increas- ingly invested in a casual arrangement, and it’s time to make sure you’re getting something back. Think about what’s fair, and then think about what you really want, fair or not. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). For the major- ity, memory is among the more imperfect record-keeping systems. And even though yours is better than most, don’t rely on memo- ry for what’s precious to you. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). It’s an ugly thing when the privileged undervalue their gifts. You certainly wouldn’t want to commit that crime. (You might be surprised who sees you as privileged.) Don’t devalue what you have FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE with overly modest words. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Your favorite relationships of the weekend will be the ones that promise you excitement, fun, connec- tion and mutual respect. Actually, they don’t even have to promise: An implication will be enough to go on. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). While some scientific evidence suggests that enlarging your social circle may lengthen your life, other studies point to the healthful necessity of solitude. Whether you give love to them or you, love is still the answer. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The energy of judging people is rotten regardless of the semantics. The verbiage is really irrelevant because it all boils down to the same tone of superiority. Leave the conversation. Go where you feel the love. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’d rather not give the situation a definition or a label just yet. You’re enjoying yourself! The fun you’re having is contagious, and your playful spirit keeps it continuous as well. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You are open to the gift of intuition and will be frequently and boldly guided by divine forces. Through this month, keep asking your higher self what the most advantageous next step might be. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (March 17). Creating your own joy is your chief respon- sibility. You’ll have the guts to decide what’s important and dismiss the rest. Because your loved ones mean so much to you, their needs make it on the list, too — but you’ve healthy boundaries about this. Capricorn and Libra adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 7, 13, 49, 12 and 1.