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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 13, 2018)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2018 FEATURES My mom is a food hoarder Dear Annie: My mother is 79 us a meal? There are a lot of things years old. She was born during the worse in this world, but Mom is Depression, and I know that when beginning to wonder why we don’t she was younger, she didn’t get eat at her house, and I don’t want enough to eat. The problem now to hurt her feelings. — Troubled by is that she still hoards food. She Hoarding admits that she has a problem, but Dear Troubled by Hoarding: she can’t seem to stop buy- It’s time to unfreeze the DEAR ing food for the freezer. She tension with a warm and has a huge chest freezer honest conversation with ANNIE and two smaller freezers your mom. Tell her how that are stuffed full of food. you feel about the expired Some of the food in the food. Most frozen food freezers must be over 10 lasts up to three months years old. When we men- before it starts to show tion this to her, she says all signs of freezer burn. As that food is good because you said, your mom was Lane it has remained frozen. If Annie born at the tail end of the Creators Syndicate Inc. she would still be cooking Depression. Childhood for big family get-togethers experiences of deprivation the way she did when my dad was can last a lifetime. Show under- alive, I could understand why she standing for her fears while helping her to make a few adjustments, but would want to store extra food. I realize that I don’t have any don’t expect miracles. She needs right to tell her how to spend her as much love as possible, and your money. My problem is that I know letter shows you feel that for her. there are family members who Dear Annie: Our 50-year-old could use this food, which just sits daughter was diagnosed with bipo- there getting freezer burn. Since lar disorder and a personality dis- Mom has gotten older, she has order about 10 years ago. She is lost her sense of taste. When she very bright and holds two degrees. does cook for us, the food always In her early 30s, she started imag- tastes freezer-burnt. How do we tell ining many things and divorced her her that her food has freezer burn husband. She hears people telling when she is being kind in cooking her absurd ideas and insists they are hurting her. We tried to advise her, but any mention of mental ill- ness is rejected. She takes some financial help from us and her brother but refuses to go on disabil- ity and is homeless, working when she can at temp agencies. My hus- band and I are in our late 70s and find her personality to be very dif- ficult at times. She doesn’t threaten anyone or herself and doesn’t take drugs. We’re in the South, and she is in the Northeast. We do go to National Alliance on Mental Illness meetings for support, but we worry constantly. We’re flying her down this week for a short visit because she has a bad cold and I’m afraid she’ll get the flu. Any advice? — Worried Parents Dear Worried Parents: It’s wonderful you’re attending NAMI meetings. Keep it up. The Depres- sion and Bipolar Support Alli- ance is another organization you might find helpful. Its website (http://www.dbsalliance.org) offers diverse resources, including pod- casts by family members of people with bipolar disorder. As long as your daughter is not a danger to herself or others, I’d encourage you and your husband to try to focus more on yourselves and your own mental health. 5A TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). It’s easy to know who is good for you. You’re somehow more and better than you thought you could be and you can trace your progress back to the moment you took this person’s hand. or is it born? It feels as though it was it always there, waiting to be discovered ... and yet you could swear that you created it with every ex- change, every decision to put the other person first, every burning desire. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You both know how close you are to one another, though you’ve never tried to entirely articulate the bond. There’s a feeling exchanged in eye contact that is both too simple and too complex to explain. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Often in life you can keep what works, get rid of what doesn’t. Love is more of a package deal. The challenge is not in deciding what to keep, but in accepting it all. You do this well. Your loved ones make it easy. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Life works out. Love happens. You can’t force these things and when you’ve tried it only complicated the process unnecessarily. So you take your hands off the controls and enjoy yourself. CANCER (June 22-July 22). To learn another person is to love. On the other hand, to remain mystified is a missed opportunity. So you give your attention, carefully, non-intrusively, ever more curious. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You’ve changed in order to be the person that another person needs. This, for you, has been the best reason — not a conscious one, but a reason that kept you magnetized to your best self. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Love has its own elastic relationship with time and seems to be able to speed it up until it’s short as a snap, or slow it down until it’s an eternal stretch — either way you’ll savor the moments with loved ones. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Infatuation comes with odd distortions of thought and reality, but true love makes things clearer. True love shows you what’s petty and unimportant and also what’s silly and therefore worth cherishing always. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Is love made FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Loving peo- ple is an artistic expression and your approach is completely original. You’re becoming more conscious of how you want to be loved and creating subtle and beautiful changes in the way you choose to love others. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). When it comes to your love ones, you embrace (instead of run from) the chance to give to them in a way that will never come back to you. After all, the chance to prove your love doesn’t come along every day. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). It’s not that you’re fulfilling a role in another person’s life, it’s that you’re making a connection, building a unique bond, making something happen for each oth- er that couldn’t happen with any other person in the world. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 14). You seize the chance to use your talents to make people smile. It won’t take long for a new sense of prosperity to drop in. Supportive people are your true wealth. When life doesn’t go to plan in March, resist trying to bend it to your will. Relax, observe, and you’ll soon be able to turn all to your advantage. Gemini and Libra adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 8, 3, 39, 22 and 18.
