THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2018
FEATURES
My mom is a food hoarder
Dear Annie: My mother is 79 us a meal? There are a lot of things
years old. She was born during the worse in this world, but Mom is
Depression, and I know that when beginning to wonder why we don’t
she was younger, she didn’t get eat at her house, and I don’t want
enough to eat. The problem now to hurt her feelings. — Troubled by
is that she still hoards food. She Hoarding
admits that she has a problem, but
Dear Troubled by Hoarding:
she can’t seem to stop buy-
It’s time to unfreeze the
DEAR
ing food for the freezer. She
tension with a warm and
has a huge chest freezer
honest conversation with
ANNIE
and two smaller freezers
your mom. Tell her how
that are stuffed full of food.
you feel about the expired
Some of the food in the
food. Most frozen food
freezers must be over 10
lasts up to three months
years old. When we men-
before it starts to show
tion this to her, she says all
signs of freezer burn. As
that food is good because
you said, your mom was
Lane
it has remained frozen. If Annie
born at the tail end of the
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
she would still be cooking
Depression. Childhood
for big family get-togethers
experiences of deprivation
the way she did when my dad was can last a lifetime. Show under-
alive, I could understand why she standing for her fears while helping
her to make a few adjustments, but
would want to store extra food.
I realize that I don’t have any don’t expect miracles. She needs
right to tell her how to spend her as much love as possible, and your
money. My problem is that I know letter shows you feel that for her.
there are family members who
Dear Annie: Our 50-year-old
could use this food, which just sits daughter was diagnosed with bipo-
there getting freezer burn. Since lar disorder and a personality dis-
Mom has gotten older, she has order about 10 years ago. She is
lost her sense of taste. When she very bright and holds two degrees.
does cook for us, the food always In her early 30s, she started imag-
tastes freezer-burnt. How do we tell ining many things and divorced her
her that her food has freezer burn husband. She hears people telling
when she is being kind in cooking her absurd ideas and insists they
are hurting her. We tried to advise
her, but any mention of mental ill-
ness is rejected. She takes some
financial help from us and her
brother but refuses to go on disabil-
ity and is homeless, working when
she can at temp agencies. My hus-
band and I are in our late 70s and
find her personality to be very dif-
ficult at times. She doesn’t threaten
anyone or herself and doesn’t take
drugs. We’re in the South, and she
is in the Northeast. We do go to
National Alliance on Mental Illness
meetings for support, but we worry
constantly. We’re flying her down
this week for a short visit because
she has a bad cold and I’m afraid
she’ll get the flu. Any advice? —
Worried Parents
Dear Worried Parents: It’s
wonderful you’re attending NAMI
meetings. Keep it up. The Depres-
sion and Bipolar Support Alli-
ance is another organization you
might find helpful. Its website
(http://www.dbsalliance.org) offers
diverse resources, including pod-
casts by family members of people
with bipolar disorder.
As long as your daughter is not
a danger to herself or others, I’d
encourage you and your husband
to try to focus more on yourselves
and your own mental health.
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). It’s easy to know
who is good for you. You’re somehow more and
better than you thought you could be and you
can trace your progress back to the moment
you took this person’s hand.
or is it born? It feels as though it was it always
there, waiting to be discovered ... and yet you
could swear that you created it with every ex-
change, every decision to put the other person
first, every burning desire.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You both know
how close you are to one another, though
you’ve never tried to entirely articulate the bond.
There’s a feeling exchanged in eye contact that
is both too simple and too complex to explain.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Often in
life you can keep what works, get rid of what
doesn’t. Love is more of a package deal. The
challenge is not in deciding what to keep, but in
accepting it all. You do this well. Your loved ones
make it easy.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Life works out.
Love happens. You can’t force these things
and when you’ve tried it only complicated the
process unnecessarily. So you take your hands
off the controls and enjoy yourself.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). To learn another
person is to love. On the other hand, to remain
mystified is a missed opportunity. So you give
your attention, carefully, non-intrusively, ever
more curious.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You’ve changed in
order to be the person that another person
needs. This, for you, has been the best reason
— not a conscious one, but a reason that kept
you magnetized to your best self.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Love has its own
elastic relationship with time and seems to be
able to speed it up until it’s short as a snap, or
slow it down until it’s an eternal stretch — either
way you’ll savor the moments with loved ones.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Infatuation comes
with odd distortions of thought and reality,
but true love makes things clearer. True love
shows you what’s petty and unimportant and
also what’s silly and therefore worth cherishing
always.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Is love made
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Loving peo-
ple is an artistic expression and your approach
is completely original. You’re becoming more
conscious of how you want to be loved and
creating subtle and beautiful changes in the
way you choose to love others.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). When it comes
to your love ones, you embrace (instead of
run from) the chance to give to them in a way
that will never come back to you. After all, the
chance to prove your love doesn’t come along
every day.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). It’s not that you’re
fulfilling a role in another person’s life, it’s that
you’re making a connection, building a unique
bond, making something happen for each oth-
er that couldn’t happen with any other person
in the world.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 14). You
seize the chance to use your talents to make
people smile. It won’t take long for a new sense
of prosperity to drop in. Supportive people are
your true wealth. When life doesn’t go to plan in
March, resist trying to bend it to your will. Relax,
observe, and you’ll soon be able to turn all to
your advantage. Gemini and Libra adore you.
Your lucky numbers are: 8, 3, 39, 22 and 18.