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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 19, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, DECEMBER 19, 2017
Many people touched by letter
Dear Annie: I am asking you life, and even though she received
to reprint your column with the chemo and radiation therapy on a
letter from “Neil,” who lost his regular basis, as well as numer-
wife to cancer and was having ous medications, she refused to
a difficult time coping with his give in.
I drove her to every doctor’s
grief. I am giving my copy to my
brother-in-law, as he lost his wife, appointment and every radia-
tion and chemotherapy
my sister, to glioblas-
toma, a type of brain can-
appointment, as well as
cer, Nov. 1. Now I would
all over the country as
like to have another copy.
we searched for clini-
cal trials. However, after
— Kansas Karol
two-plus years, her frag-
Dear Kansas Karol:
ile body could fight no
I’m so sorry for your
longer, and she died in
loss. Many were touched
by Neil’s letter. Here it is.
Dear Annie: I am a
The reason I am writ-
to you is that I am a
69-year-old man who, Annie
total mess. Friends and
until now, only read your
family are calling me to
Each time I read your advice to come to dinner. I don’t want to be
someone, I would say to myself, around people as I grieve; I pre-
“Hmm, that’s really good advice.” fer to be alone all of the time. Our
I never ever thought that I would house is just as it was on the day
need to write to you. Well, now I she died because I simply can’t
part with her things at this time.
am eating those words.
In late August, I lost the most Yet seeing these things sends me
important person in my life to into pain and sobbing sessions
inoperable pancreatic cancer. My that may last for hours. I have
wife was diagnosed in June 2014, completely lost faith in every-
and despite the fact that the can- thing, and I don’t trust profession-
cer spread to three additional als. I have joined several grief
organs, she fought back. This support groups, but I do not find
amazing woman refused to let the solace in them yet.
My wife and I spent 50 years
cancer win. She went on with her
of our lives together. She was my
best friend, my soul mate and
my only love. Without her, I feel
empty and incomplete. Although
people keep telling me that things
eventually will get better, I have
my doubts. I am trying to take
care of myself and to do the
things I believe she would want
me to do if she were still alive.
The only thing I really have dif-
ficulty doing is sleeping. I would
appreciate any advice you can
offer. — Neil
Dear Neil: I know that noth-
ing I say can reduce the enormity
of your loss — that my response
may come across as clichéd or
maybe even a little hollow —
because in the face of such grief,
words look ridiculous and small.
Still, I must say, with all of my
heart, that I am so sorry for your
In these times of deep grief,
turn to the memories you and
your wife shared. Let them warm
you through the night like a blan-
ket. They are eternal. No one can
ever take those away from you.
Your wife lives on in your heart.
Let her strength help you through
Be patient with yourself and
permit yourself to grieve.
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). All the glory will
go to the one who got into the mess of it and
started racking up the mishaps, lessons and
successes. So don’t worry about whether or not
it’s too late. This is as good a start time as any.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Rumors travel in
exciting ways. Usually they fly. Sometimes they
leak. Rumors never plod along. What plods
along isn’t juicy enough to be considered a
rumor, nor will it qualify as news. Consider this
in your PR strategy.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You would rather
come up with a successful plan than have one
presented to you. You would rather solve a prob-
lem then memorize the solutions of others. It’s
because learning is a process, not an answer.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You won’t really
find the time to work on the things you want to
work on, but if you make the time — carve it
out, declare it, keep it sacred — then you’ll have
just as much as you willfully dedicated to the
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Remember the times
when your thoughts, plus time and effort,
resulted in altered reality, materialization and
transformation? Today those thoughts will
be harder to rein in, but you must, because
thoughts become things.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Don’t worry about
how to do it. You’re smart. The “how” won’t be
a problem once you get the truly important
questions answered, the most relevant one
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The easy road will
be uneventful and boring, so choose something
with more texture and pitch to it, though not so
challenging as to cause you to become stuck
or disheartened. Some difficulties are more
FRANK AND ERNEST
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
WIZARD OF ID
ROSE IS ROSE
desirable than others.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Inventing yourself
is much easier than reinventing yourself. Once
people have an idea about you, it’s difficult to
overwrite that. But new people will accept what
you show them, and you may as well have a
little fun with this.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Even
though you come into the world with a certain
framework, much of your story is a co-creation
between you and the outside world. Never
forget your ultimate free will. This is a day to
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). A relationship
will get on your nerves if you let it. No one is
trying to irritate the other, but there are sticking
points — friction that comes up again and again
until someone’s resistance is rubbed away.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Gossip is
dangerous. Steer clear of it. Make your mind up
about people based on what you experience,
not what you hear. Truly, people can poison
your judgment with their opinions.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). In your current
ambitious mood you believe that if it’s not get-
ting better, it’s getting worse. That’s why yours
is a path of constant improvement and study,
which will be easily accommodated with the
free resources you find today.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 20). You’re
just beginning to get comfortable with being
more powerful. Deals go down next month, and
you bring on the new year with confidence and
cash. You’ll be swept into a loved one’s world
in March. A job will have you trying out an alter
ego. Love and lifestyle improvements busy you
in the spring. Scorpio and Cancer adore you.
Your lucky numbers are: 30, 2, 22, 13 and 40.