THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, DECEMBER 19, 2017 FEATURES Many people touched by letter Dear Annie: I am asking you life, and even though she received to reprint your column with the chemo and radiation therapy on a letter from “Neil,” who lost his regular basis, as well as numer- wife to cancer and was having ous medications, she refused to a difficult time coping with his give in. I drove her to every doctor’s grief. I am giving my copy to my brother-in-law, as he lost his wife, appointment and every radia- tion and chemotherapy my sister, to glioblas- DEAR toma, a type of brain can- appointment, as well as cer, Nov. 1. Now I would all over the country as ANNIE like to have another copy. we searched for clini- cal trials. However, after — Kansas Karol two-plus years, her frag- Dear Kansas Karol: ile body could fight no I’m so sorry for your longer, and she died in loss. Many were touched my arms. by Neil’s letter. Here it is. Dear Annie: I am a The reason I am writ- Lane ing to you is that I am a 69-year-old man who, Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. total mess. Friends and until now, only read your family are calling me to column periodically. Each time I read your advice to come to dinner. I don’t want to be someone, I would say to myself, around people as I grieve; I pre- “Hmm, that’s really good advice.” fer to be alone all of the time. Our I never ever thought that I would house is just as it was on the day need to write to you. Well, now I she died because I simply can’t part with her things at this time. am eating those words. In late August, I lost the most Yet seeing these things sends me important person in my life to into pain and sobbing sessions inoperable pancreatic cancer. My that may last for hours. I have wife was diagnosed in June 2014, completely lost faith in every- and despite the fact that the can- thing, and I don’t trust profession- cer spread to three additional als. I have joined several grief organs, she fought back. This support groups, but I do not find amazing woman refused to let the solace in them yet. My wife and I spent 50 years cancer win. She went on with her of our lives together. She was my best friend, my soul mate and my only love. Without her, I feel empty and incomplete. Although people keep telling me that things eventually will get better, I have my doubts. I am trying to take care of myself and to do the things I believe she would want me to do if she were still alive. The only thing I really have dif- ficulty doing is sleeping. I would appreciate any advice you can offer. — Neil Dear Neil: I know that noth- ing I say can reduce the enormity of your loss — that my response may come across as clichéd or maybe even a little hollow — because in the face of such grief, words look ridiculous and small. Still, I must say, with all of my heart, that I am so sorry for your loss. In these times of deep grief, turn to the memories you and your wife shared. Let them warm you through the night like a blan- ket. They are eternal. No one can ever take those away from you. Your wife lives on in your heart. Let her strength help you through this. Be patient with yourself and permit yourself to grieve. 5A TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). All the glory will go to the one who got into the mess of it and started racking up the mishaps, lessons and successes. So don’t worry about whether or not it’s too late. This is as good a start time as any. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Rumors travel in exciting ways. Usually they fly. Sometimes they leak. Rumors never plod along. What plods along isn’t juicy enough to be considered a rumor, nor will it qualify as news. Consider this in your PR strategy. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You would rather come up with a successful plan than have one presented to you. You would rather solve a prob- lem then memorize the solutions of others. It’s because learning is a process, not an answer. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You won’t really find the time to work on the things you want to work on, but if you make the time — carve it out, declare it, keep it sacred — then you’ll have just as much as you willfully dedicated to the pursuit. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Remember the times when your thoughts, plus time and effort, resulted in altered reality, materialization and transformation? Today those thoughts will be harder to rein in, but you must, because thoughts become things. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Don’t worry about how to do it. You’re smart. The “how” won’t be a problem once you get the truly important questions answered, the most relevant one being “Why?” LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The easy road will be uneventful and boring, so choose something with more texture and pitch to it, though not so challenging as to cause you to become stuck or disheartened. Some difficulties are more FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE desirable than others. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Inventing yourself is much easier than reinventing yourself. Once people have an idea about you, it’s difficult to overwrite that. But new people will accept what you show them, and you may as well have a little fun with this. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Even though you come into the world with a certain framework, much of your story is a co-creation between you and the outside world. Never forget your ultimate free will. This is a day to exercise it. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). A relationship will get on your nerves if you let it. No one is trying to irritate the other, but there are sticking points — friction that comes up again and again until someone’s resistance is rubbed away. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Gossip is dangerous. Steer clear of it. Make your mind up about people based on what you experience, not what you hear. Truly, people can poison your judgment with their opinions. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). In your current ambitious mood you believe that if it’s not get- ting better, it’s getting worse. That’s why yours is a path of constant improvement and study, which will be easily accommodated with the free resources you find today. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 20). You’re just beginning to get comfortable with being more powerful. Deals go down next month, and you bring on the new year with confidence and cash. You’ll be swept into a loved one’s world in March. A job will have you trying out an alter ego. Love and lifestyle improvements busy you in the spring. Scorpio and Cancer adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 30, 2, 22, 13 and 40.