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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 13, 2017)
6A FEATURES Husband is enabling his son Dear Annie: My stepson, “Dale,” “What if I didn’t do enough and he lives off benefits from the govern- harms himself?” My husband needs ment and his father — my sweet, to give himself permission to say, “I loving husband, who is in his 70s. tried!” — Frustrated Stepmother Dale has not worked for five years, Dear Frustrated Stepmother: and his dad bails him out of every I agree that your husband needs to scrape and crisis he gets himself into. give himself permission to detach Dale has been fired from with love. But your husband DEAR every job he has ever had. must decide this for himself, He has spent time in rehab. just as Dale must decide for ANNIE He lies, steals, is involved himself that he needs help. in risky behavior and may Attempting to rush your hus- band to this realization won’t be back on drugs. The final help — and in fact might straw is that his landlord backfire. has kicked him out. There is a history of I’m so glad you’re both in depression, and he is on therapy and attending NAMI Lane medication, but physi- Annie meetings. I would also urge Creators Syndicate Inc. cally he is fit and able. As you to attend a 12-step fam- ily program, such as Families a couple, we have attended National Alliance on Mental Illness Anonymous, Nar-Anon or Al-Anon. meetings (a great organization) and Hearing how others have learned to ongoing marriage guidance sessions put the focus back on themselves to try to agree on boundaries, etc., might inspire you and your husband to do the same. when dealing with this situation. A parent always loves his kids, Dear Annie: I work with the pub- but when is it time to say “enough is lic and would like to remind read- enough” and let them go? I will not ers not to carry their Social Secu- have Dale come and live with us in rity cards in their wallets, because our tiny home. The real problem is if a card is lost or stolen, a person that my husband is Dale’s enabler. could become the victim of iden- When will my husband wake up and tity theft. On numerous occasions, I accept that he is being taken in, lied have had transactions with an elderly to and manipulated on almost a daily gentleman, and each time he opens basis? My husband’s view remains, his wallet, I see his Social Security card prominently displayed under a window sleeve. On one visit, I very nicely mentioned how the card should be locked in a safe in his home and why. He said he some- times needs to give out his Social Security number. I told him it should be memorized and it’s never neces- sary to actually show the card. I’ve waited on him several times since, and I still see his card on each visit. Please, readers, make sure your loved ones do not carry their cards on them and they are locked away in a safe place. Unfortunately, in today’s world, identity theft is very prevalent, and crooks will stop at nothing to find their next victim. — Waits on Customers in VA Dear Waits on Customers: I second your plea. According to the Identity Theft Resource Center, “identity theft springing from a stolen Social Security card carried in a wal- let or purse is among the most com- mon ways people become victims.” If you’ve lost your Social Security card — even if you don’t believe it’s being used — call the Social Secu- rity Administration at 800-772-1213. If your card has been stolen, contact your local police department imme- diately, and visit https://identitytheft. gov for more steps you can take after the fact. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 13, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Anything and everything can be taken to extremes, including the smallest things. It’s why you’re very, very careful about what you get started these days. When in doubt, toe the straight clean line. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Something’s not right in the setup. You can either go along with the program or raise your hand. “There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: not going all the way, and not starting.” — Buddha GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Identity is more fluid and nuanced than most people think. But as the twins of the zodiac, you already understand that each person is often a subtly different person for every fresh situation. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Invisible cords entwine your soul with the soul of each person you love. Today, you can send and receive messages through these cords regardless of where the other person is in the world or beyond. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Even though you’re not entirely happy in every moment with where you are, in many ways the setting of the day will feel ideal. Windows sparkling with promise, decorated doors of opportunity, intrigue at every corner ... it’s a good place. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your best guess is a good one but it’s still not good enough to act on. A scientific approach is going to bother your teammates and slow down the action considerably. Oh, and it will also keep you from future regret. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Just when you think you’re doing better in a certain area it gets worse in another. Growth can be strange like this, but you can count on the FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE fact that it’s all building in a positive direction. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). On the one hand, you love yourself enough to get the things you want. On the other hand, this involves sacrifice and work you don’t feel like doing. So be a good coach to yourself. That’s what’s needed. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’ll expe- rience luck so uncanny that your actions may seem to be guided by an invisible finger of fate. Don’t waste this one — believe the impulse, act on it and follow through with next steps. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You hold the people around you to a certain stan- dard, and then you hold yourself to another one that’s much, much higher. This hardly seems fair, but it will work out for you and keep you from disappointment. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You might get nostalgic for the moment you’re living right now. Love does this to you. You realize that you’re in a very sweet, shared part of life pass- ing through your fingers like a handful of sugar. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’ll become increasingly self-sufficient as this solar return progresses. A kindly stranger comes into the picture in early 2018 who can forward your interests. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 14). Your attuning with nature will be more than a hobby; it will be a path to physical vitality, better relationships and there may even be professional facets. There’s a fun social development at the start of 2018 that will help your family. Travel in March; invest in April. Perks of friendship will enhance the summer. Aries and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 2, 20, 1, 28 and 33.
