6A
FEATURES
Husband is enabling his son
Dear Annie: My stepson, “Dale,” “What if I didn’t do enough and he
lives off benefits from the govern- harms himself?” My husband needs
ment and his father — my sweet, to give himself permission to say, “I
loving husband, who is in his 70s. tried!” — Frustrated Stepmother
Dale has not worked for five years,
Dear Frustrated Stepmother:
and his dad bails him out of every I agree that your husband needs to
scrape and crisis he gets himself into. give himself permission to detach
Dale has been fired from
with love. But your husband
DEAR
every job he has ever had.
must decide this for himself,
He has spent time in rehab.
just as Dale must decide for
ANNIE
He lies, steals, is involved
himself that he needs help.
in risky behavior and may
Attempting to rush your hus-
band to this realization won’t
be back on drugs. The final
help — and in fact might
straw is that his landlord
backfire.
has kicked him out.
There is a history of
I’m so glad you’re both in
depression, and he is on
therapy and attending NAMI
Lane
medication, but physi- Annie
meetings. I would also urge
Creators
Syndicate
Inc.
cally he is fit and able. As
you to attend a 12-step fam-
ily program, such as Families
a couple, we have attended
National Alliance on Mental Illness Anonymous, Nar-Anon or Al-Anon.
meetings (a great organization) and Hearing how others have learned to
ongoing marriage guidance sessions put the focus back on themselves
to try to agree on boundaries, etc., might inspire you and your husband
to do the same.
when dealing with this situation.
A parent always loves his kids,
Dear Annie: I work with the pub-
but when is it time to say “enough is lic and would like to remind read-
enough” and let them go? I will not ers not to carry their Social Secu-
have Dale come and live with us in rity cards in their wallets, because
our tiny home. The real problem is if a card is lost or stolen, a person
that my husband is Dale’s enabler. could become the victim of iden-
When will my husband wake up and tity theft. On numerous occasions, I
accept that he is being taken in, lied have had transactions with an elderly
to and manipulated on almost a daily gentleman, and each time he opens
basis? My husband’s view remains, his wallet, I see his Social Security
card prominently displayed under
a window sleeve. On one visit, I
very nicely mentioned how the card
should be locked in a safe in his
home and why. He said he some-
times needs to give out his Social
Security number. I told him it should
be memorized and it’s never neces-
sary to actually show the card. I’ve
waited on him several times since,
and I still see his card on each visit.
Please, readers, make sure your
loved ones do not carry their cards
on them and they are locked away
in a safe place. Unfortunately, in
today’s world, identity theft is very
prevalent, and crooks will stop at
nothing to find their next victim. —
Waits on Customers in VA
Dear Waits on Customers: I
second your plea. According to the
Identity Theft Resource Center,
“identity theft springing from a stolen
Social Security card carried in a wal-
let or purse is among the most com-
mon ways people become victims.”
If you’ve lost your Social Security
card — even if you don’t believe it’s
being used — call the Social Secu-
rity Administration at 800-772-1213.
If your card has been stolen, contact
your local police department imme-
diately, and visit https://identitytheft.
gov for more steps you can take after
the fact.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 13, 2017
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Anything and
everything can be taken to extremes, including
the smallest things. It’s why you’re very, very
careful about what you get started these days.
When in doubt, toe the straight clean line.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Something’s
not right in the setup. You can either go
along with the program or raise your hand.
“There are only two mistakes one can
make along the road to truth: not going all
the way, and not starting.” — Buddha
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Identity is more
fluid and nuanced than most people think.
But as the twins of the zodiac, you already
understand that each person is often a subtly
different person for every fresh situation.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Invisible
cords entwine your soul with the soul of
each person you love. Today, you can
send and receive messages through these
cords regardless of where the other person
is in the world or beyond.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Even though you’re
not entirely happy in every moment with
where you are, in many ways the setting of
the day will feel ideal. Windows sparkling
with promise, decorated doors of opportunity,
intrigue at every corner ... it’s a good place.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your best
guess is a good one but it’s still not good
enough to act on. A scientific approach is
going to bother your teammates and slow
down the action considerably. Oh, and it will
also keep you from future regret.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Just when you
think you’re doing better in a certain area
it gets worse in another. Growth can be
strange like this, but you can count on the
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
fact that it’s all building in a positive direction.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). On the one
hand, you love yourself enough to get the
things you want. On the other hand, this
involves sacrifice and work you don’t feel
like doing. So be a good coach to yourself.
That’s what’s needed.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’ll expe-
rience luck so uncanny that your actions may
seem to be guided by an invisible finger of fate.
Don’t waste this one — believe the impulse,
act on it and follow through with next steps.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You hold
the people around you to a certain stan-
dard, and then you hold yourself to another
one that’s much, much higher. This hardly
seems fair, but it will work out for you and
keep you from disappointment.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You might get
nostalgic for the moment you’re living right
now. Love does this to you. You realize that
you’re in a very sweet, shared part of life pass-
ing through your fingers like a handful of sugar.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’ll become
increasingly self-sufficient as this solar
return progresses. A kindly stranger comes
into the picture in early 2018 who can
forward your interests.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 14).
Your attuning with nature will be more than
a hobby; it will be a path to physical vitality,
better relationships and there may even
be professional facets. There’s a fun social
development at the start of 2018 that will
help your family. Travel in March; invest in
April. Perks of friendship will enhance the
summer. Aries and Scorpio adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 2, 20, 1, 28 and 33.