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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 8, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, DECEMBER 8, 2017 FEATURES Dad feels no love for stepson Dear Annie: I am a 42-year- My sons have also tried to get old man with two teenage sons. I him to do things with them, but he have been married to my second will complain the entire time that wife for almost a year. She has an he hates the outdoors. They pretty 11-year-old son, “Brice.” much have given up on him. They Brice never had a man in his say he is a whiner and a crybaby. life until I married his mom. He is If I am out somewhere with respectful and a sweet kid, him and I run into a friend DEAR but for some reason, I hate or co-worker, I am actu- ally embarrassed to intro- him. I know that sounds ANNIE duce him as my stepson harsh, and I am actually because of how he acts. ashamed at how I feel, but I know I need coun- I cannot seem to warm up seling or something, but to him. My sons are 14 and I am too ashamed to talk 16. They are your typical to anyone and admit I feel rough-and-tumble boys. what I feel. Is there any- Lane thing you can suggest? They are into sports, girls Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. — Ashamed and Terrible and cars. I suppose I am Stepdad used to that behavior in Dear Ashamed and Terrible boys. Brice, on the other hand, is Stepdad: Many people believe extremely effeminate and sensi- that if you feel that you hate some- tive. He would rather be inside one, you actually hate something reading a book or helping his mom about yourself that you recognize in the kitchen. I came home from in the other person. Perhaps when work the other day, and he was in you were a child, an adult made an apron helping her bake cookies. you feel bad about some aspect of your personality that wasn’t ste- I could barely look at him. I have tried numerous times reotypically masculine. What- to get him interested in the things ever the source of these feelings, most boys his age are doing, such a counselor could help you work as playing catch in the backyard. through them and past them, con- He cries and complains and says fidentially and without judgment. You don’t need to tell anyone why how much he hates sports. you’re going to counseling — but you do need to go, for your sake and for Brice’s. Children pick up on feelings. Dear Annie: This is in response to “Desperate in Montana,” who compulsively flirts with men. From the time I reached adulthood, I inexplicably found myself sexu- alizing interactions, totally out- side my control. I was horrified, anxious and scared by this. Even- tually, I did find its origin. I had been repressing a terrible episode of assault in my childhood. When I stopped fighting the sexualiz- ing impulse and turned to face it, I eventually remembered. I understand now that the rea- son my subconscious was so relentlessly “dinging” was that it was now safe and necessary for me to remember. “Desperate” has to have compassion for herself. She needs to begin a quest for a coun- selor who can work with her and her subconscious. I pray she finds peace. — Louisiana Reader Dear Louisiana Reader: I’ve passed your letter on to “Desper- ate,” and I’m printing it here for anyone who has lived through such trauma. Thank you for open- ing up, and I’m so glad you’ve found healing. 3C TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). The first rule of professionalism is not to ask others to do your work. The second rule is to adhere to the training manual. If you weren’t trained, it’s not your fault, but the true professional finds a way to get trained nonetheless. would deny the excitement that is to come. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You agreed. You checked the box. That box included limitations that you will definitely outgrow and push against in time — as well as limitations that you are better off respecting. Knowing the difference, that’s the thing. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your suc- cess today will depend on your ability to com- partmentalize and manage your emotions, including the very subtle, almost non-emotion of boredom. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). As you mix into the crowd, you’ll be with all manner and types of people, most melding with your goodwill and positive intention; some, not so much. Just remember that all rudeness is essentially weakness or ignorance. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’re not look- ing to blame anyone, though neither would you mind if someone else would step in and take responsibility for what’s going on. It could actually happen ... miracle of miracles! LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Avoid matters of religion and politics in polite company. Extend the taboo-topics list to finance, health, fash- ion, taste preferences in general and basically anything that highlights differences of opinion, ideology or belief. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ve trepidation about tackling the events of the day, but that won’t stop you. The upside of being afraid is an adrenaline rush — just what you need to take courage in the face of fear. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ll use the past to reference where you are. That’s the proper use of it, after all. To use it as a refuge would make you smaller. To use it as your glory FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Some say it isn’t right to change the goal. Some say it signals weakness or failure. But not all goals are worthy. A worthy goal is the water that raises all ships. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). It’s not that everyone wants or needs to be included in the shenanigans; it’s just that everyone wants to feel invited. Handle the invites in a highly inclusive manner and you’ll be a social success. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). There’s some- thing new on the horizon that will not fully rise if not for your input. You can’t imagine how important you are to this right now, but hopefully you won’t doubt it, either. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Shakespeare suggested, “Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.” In his time, three hours (without a cellphone!) must have been excru- ciating. However, he has a point. And you’ll earn many points for a timely arrival. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 9). Maybe it’s because you teach and you give. Or may- be it’s because you rarely complain and find it quite natural to inspire others. Whichever it is, you’ll enjoy a solar return that includes you being very well-liked and well-compensated in all the ways that matter to you. Exciting news comes in May. Travel comes in October. Capricorn and Gemini adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 12, 22, 20, 3 and 33.