THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, DECEMBER 8, 2017
FEATURES
Dad feels no love for stepson
Dear Annie: I am a 42-year-
My sons have also tried to get
old man with two teenage sons. I him to do things with them, but he
have been married to my second will complain the entire time that
wife for almost a year. She has an he hates the outdoors. They pretty
11-year-old son, “Brice.”
much have given up on him. They
Brice never had a man in his say he is a whiner and a crybaby.
life until I married his mom. He is
If I am out somewhere with
respectful and a sweet kid,
him and I run into a friend
DEAR
but for some reason, I hate
or co-worker, I am actu-
ally embarrassed to intro-
him. I know that sounds
ANNIE
duce him as my stepson
harsh, and I am actually
because of how he acts.
ashamed at how I feel, but
I know I need coun-
I cannot seem to warm up
seling or something, but
to him.
My sons are 14 and
I am too ashamed to talk
16. They are your typical
to anyone and admit I feel
rough-and-tumble boys.
what I feel. Is there any-
Lane
thing you can suggest?
They are into sports, girls Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
— Ashamed and Terrible
and cars. I suppose I am
Stepdad
used to that behavior in
Dear Ashamed and Terrible
boys.
Brice, on the other hand, is Stepdad: Many people believe
extremely effeminate and sensi- that if you feel that you hate some-
tive. He would rather be inside one, you actually hate something
reading a book or helping his mom about yourself that you recognize
in the kitchen. I came home from in the other person. Perhaps when
work the other day, and he was in you were a child, an adult made
an apron helping her bake cookies. you feel bad about some aspect of
your personality that wasn’t ste-
I could barely look at him.
I have tried numerous times reotypically masculine. What-
to get him interested in the things ever the source of these feelings,
most boys his age are doing, such a counselor could help you work
as playing catch in the backyard. through them and past them, con-
He cries and complains and says fidentially and without judgment.
You don’t need to tell anyone why
how much he hates sports.
you’re going to counseling — but
you do need to go, for your sake
and for Brice’s. Children pick up
on feelings.
Dear Annie: This is in response
to “Desperate in Montana,” who
compulsively flirts with men.
From the time I reached adulthood,
I inexplicably found myself sexu-
alizing interactions, totally out-
side my control. I was horrified,
anxious and scared by this. Even-
tually, I did find its origin. I had
been repressing a terrible episode
of assault in my childhood. When
I stopped fighting the sexualiz-
ing impulse and turned to face it, I
eventually remembered.
I understand now that the rea-
son my subconscious was so
relentlessly “dinging” was that it
was now safe and necessary for me
to remember. “Desperate” has to
have compassion for herself. She
needs to begin a quest for a coun-
selor who can work with her and
her subconscious. I pray she finds
peace. — Louisiana Reader
Dear Louisiana Reader: I’ve
passed your letter on to “Desper-
ate,” and I’m printing it here for
anyone who has lived through
such trauma. Thank you for open-
ing up, and I’m so glad you’ve
found healing.
3C
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). The first rule
of professionalism is not to ask others to do
your work. The second rule is to adhere to
the training manual. If you weren’t trained, it’s
not your fault, but the true professional finds a
way to get trained nonetheless.
would deny the excitement that is to come.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You agreed.
You checked the box. That box included
limitations that you will definitely outgrow and
push against in time — as well as limitations
that you are better off respecting. Knowing the
difference, that’s the thing.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your suc-
cess today will depend on your ability to com-
partmentalize and manage your emotions,
including the very subtle, almost non-emotion
of boredom.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). As you mix into
the crowd, you’ll be with all manner and types
of people, most melding with your goodwill
and positive intention; some, not so much.
Just remember that all rudeness is essentially
weakness or ignorance.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’re not look-
ing to blame anyone, though neither would
you mind if someone else would step in and
take responsibility for what’s going on. It could
actually happen ... miracle of miracles!
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Avoid matters of
religion and politics in polite company. Extend
the taboo-topics list to finance, health, fash-
ion, taste preferences in general and basically
anything that highlights differences of opinion,
ideology or belief.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ve trepidation
about tackling the events of the day, but that
won’t stop you. The upside of being afraid is
an adrenaline rush — just what you need to
take courage in the face of fear.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ll use the past
to reference where you are. That’s the proper
use of it, after all. To use it as a refuge would
make you smaller. To use it as your glory
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Some say it
isn’t right to change the goal. Some say it
signals weakness or failure. But not all goals
are worthy. A worthy goal is the water that
raises all ships.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). It’s not that
everyone wants or needs to be included
in the shenanigans; it’s just that everyone
wants to feel invited. Handle the invites in a
highly inclusive manner and you’ll be a social
success.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). There’s some-
thing new on the horizon that will not fully
rise if not for your input. You can’t imagine
how important you are to this right now, but
hopefully you won’t doubt it, either.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Shakespeare
suggested, “Better three hours too soon than
a minute too late.” In his time, three hours
(without a cellphone!) must have been excru-
ciating. However, he has a point. And you’ll
earn many points for a timely arrival.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 9). Maybe
it’s because you teach and you give. Or may-
be it’s because you rarely complain and find
it quite natural to inspire others. Whichever it
is, you’ll enjoy a solar return that includes you
being very well-liked and well-compensated
in all the ways that matter to you. Exciting
news comes in May. Travel comes in October.
Capricorn and Gemini adore you. Your lucky
numbers are: 12, 22, 20, 3 and 33.