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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 6, 2017)
6A FEATURES We were going to eat that Dear Annie: At the recent next time you’re preparing to Thanksgiving celebration, I was host a family feast, pick up 15 again faced with a situation that containers you don’t mind part- has bothered me for some time ing with. After everyone’s done feasting, pass out the boxes and now. We take turns in my fam- encourage everyone to load up ily hosting a holiday. This year, on a little of everything. And it was my turn to host if anyone has a friend, DEAR Thanksgiving. I truly neighbor or relative who love cooking for this is homebound or hos- ANNIE pitalized, tell that guest feast. Everyone brings a to pack some extra con- dish, and I usually do the tainers and take Thanks- turkey and dressing. Our giving to that person. group consisted of about Dear Annie: Hur- 15 people this year, as ray for your reply to it usually does. The “James,” who excori- problem is that every Lane ated the teenage chil- year, without fail, when Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. dren of a hoarder for not everyone is packing up doing the housekeep- to leave, “Rhonda” starts grabbing leftovers to take home. ing their mother wouldn’t do. She prepares several plates for You were correct to point out herself. She does this at every that the children of a hoarder are gathering, even when she hosts unlikely to have learned how to the holiday (she will pack food keep house from her. But even away in her refrigerator while no if they did, they might not be one is watching). I don’t mind able to do much because she’s so when people take dishes home, deeply invested in her hoarding but I find it rude that Rhonda habits. My mother was a hoarder. helps herself without asking. What can I do to discourage this She taught my sister and me how at future gatherings? — Roasting to keep house, and she was OK in Kentucky with our doing the dishes and Dear Roasting: The best the laundry, vacuuming, mop- defense is a good offense. The ping floors, scrubbing sinks, etc. But when we tried to clean up the biggest problem, her bags and boxes of stuff (junk mail, worn- out clothes that she was going to mend “someday,” old newspa- pers and magazines, 5-year-old grocery receipts), she got very upset and wouldn’t let us touch anything. The thing people need to understand is that hoarding isn’t a case of a lazy person who won’t do housework. Hoarders have an abnormal attachment to their stuff, even items that most of us view as trash, and if someone tries to get rid of any of it, they behave as if it were an attack on them personally. My mother was friendly, funny, kindhearted and intelligent, but if I tried to throw out one of her bags of ancient junk mail, she turned into Raging Tigress. Hoarding is not a bad habit that a person can overcome by exercising discipline and will- power; it’s a mental illness that requires professional help and is notoriously difficult to treat. — Been There Dear Been There: This is the first time I’ve heard from some- one who grew up with a hoarder parent, and your personal insight is invaluable. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). No one has all the answers. This will come as a relief to you now, because it means that you don’t have to offer a turnkey solution for your people. Instead, introduce them to the issues and invite them to work together to solve this. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). What’s more important than being right? Understanding. This isn’t about knowing more. Knowledge and understanding are not precisely the same thing. The former is more akin to facts, the latter to processes. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’ve already sur- vived your worst days, so even if this one isn’t unfolding ideally, there’s still enormous potential here if you keep your attitude buoyant. Positive people around you will help. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Everything is moving quickly, and you’ll get plenty of participa- tion points over the next three days. You’ll win a few and lose a few — and don’t worry, because anything you lose will come back around. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). There’s something you want to accomplish that seems not to be in the cards. It’s like for every push you make, life pushes back. Don’t give up. These pushes from life are just trying to guide you to a better way. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your creativity is not going away just because you happen not to be using it much lately. It’s actually swelling up, eager for an outlet. Schedule time for explora- tion of this side of you in the near future. You’re long overdue. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Tenacity, in its less appealing form, is called stubbornness. You’ll have this sort of stick-to-it-ness to work with now. Be careful what you agree to, because it won’t be so easy to back out. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Develop your plans on paper. This will help you order your thoughts and take stock of your resources, as well as the resources you’ll have to acquire to make your wishes a reality. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Still worried about what to give the important people in your life who seem to already have everything? Actually, what you write in the card will be more important. Put time and thought into this and you’ll be a hit. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Changing your brain chemistry isn’t so mysterious really. There’s very little you can do that won’t alter it. Ways to get the good chemistry flowing: hugs, music, exercise, learning, laughter and so much more. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ll look for the drama, humor and general human-interest aspect of life with the zeal of someone who’s been invited to a very important dinner party. It just feels better to have a few good stories in your arsenal. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). We all talk too much now and then. But one who’s proven to be a habitual conversation bully will have you running and hiding in avoidance today. Sad, really, but a good lesson in the importance of generous communication. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 7). You’ll get the attention you deserve with one stipulation: that you don’t settle for less. Stick with those who celebrate and support you and you’ll rise past their high expectations and up to your own even-higher ones. Get help in setting up processes that will earn you the extra money and satisfaction you’ve lacked. Aquarius and Gemini adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 12, 38, 1, 42 and 25.