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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 16, 2017)
6A FEATURES Grandkids without discipline Dear Annie: I am inclined to least three years. ask for an outside opinion after When I spend time with the spending time with my grandkids kids individually, they are sweet at their home last night and wit- and very smart. I’m sure they like nessing a lot of violent behavior the calm visit with me. What will with which they got away. It was happen with them in the future? — an emotional roller coaster. I saw Worried Grandma the eldest sibling behaving Dear Worried DEAR roughly with his younger Grandma: You are cor- rect to be concerned. siblings. The parents ANNIE Empty threats help no one. threatened to take away a They instill temporary favorite toy as punishment fear in children that they but then never followed will get something taken through, nor did they use away, and when there is timeout, which I still think no follow-through on the is smart for calming down. As a grandparent, I threats, it teaches the chil- Lane dren that your word is not was glad to see the sis- Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. ters, ages 3 and 4, learning worth paying attention to. to fight back against their In the end, they will con- elder brother, who is 7, when he tinue not to listen to or respect your was rough with them. But he’s still son and daughter-in-law. They stronger, and there was still a lot of need firm guidelines about not hit- crying. Meanwhile, the 1-year-old ting, strict enforcement and lots of love. boy is watching it all. My daughter-in-law is a stay- Dear Annie: I am a veterinar- at-home mom. My son participates ian, and I have read your column with the discipline, but he mostly since its inception. I usually agree yells at them. The kids laugh it off, with your advice. However, I must and the eldest boy even hits the par- object to the advice you gave to the ents or pounces on them when he owners of the cat who got a Great feels like it. And again, nothing is Pyrenees. They believe that the dog done to punish him. The kids are is demanding an inordinate amount simply told to hug and say they’re of their attention, possibly out of sorry. This has been going on for at jealousy. Though your reply was well-intended, your recommenda- tions may not have been helpful and could even be dangerous. Dogs and cats have their own methods of communication, with facial expres- sions and body language that most people aren’t trained or attuned enough to understand. They have evolved to respond to these cues in certain ways. Trying to proj- ect human emotions, motivations or patterns of behavior onto dogs or cats is largely unsuccessful and can sometimes create even more unwanted behavior. This couple would benefit from having a professional dog trainer come to their house, observe the social hierarchy that exists and counsel them on the best way to safely modify this dog’s behavior. Thank you for your ongoing efforts to help people with their issues. I hope this information is beneficial. — Michigan Veterinarian Dear Michigan Veterinarian: Thank you for your expertise. You make a great point about the poten- tial pitfalls of projecting human emotion onto animal behavior. I’ve forwarded your letter to the owner of the Great Pyrenees, and I’m printing it here for the benefit of all readers trying to keep the peace among animals in their homes. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Walk in the sunshine. Eat delicious food. The sensuality of life will somehow feel like a thrilling escape and the sweet embrace of home all at the same time. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Goodbyes are important. Whether they are happy, relieving or tearful, it is better to have the closure than not. Today, you’ll get closure on a limbo situation. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You like people who surprise you, even if the surprise is a bit weird. You’d much rather be jolted by the unexpected than lulled into a waking slumber by the tedium of the overly familiar. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). When experiencing unpleasant emotions, you know not to get stuck there. You will quickly do something to create a different emotion and this fluidity of feeling keeps the day clipping along. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The person who has to make everything about himself or herself won’t change the pattern just for you. However, you may inspire this person to at least be more aware of that dynamic today, which is a start. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Getting the approval of others, avoiding their disapproval, giving a stellar performance, having things the way you want them ... all of that is nice, but not necessary to your happiness. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Avoiding responsi- bility doesn’t make anyone happier or freer. It seems like it should! But there’s a great deal of good that comes out of accepting responsibility, and you provide plenty of proof for that. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll be de- veloping a better way of looking at your life and some more supportive self-talk to go along with that new view. What would you tell a friend to help them if they were your position? LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Service makes you feel good about who you are and your place in the world. You’ll love what comes out of this today, and you will likely sign up for more in the future. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’ll be especially susceptible to imagery today. Take advantage of this by seeking out inspirational pictures of the life you desire, the person you want to be and the environment of your peaceful daydreams. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’re starting to accumulate many positive experiences. It’s as though you could stack them high enough to block out the negativity of the past. This is a building project worth devoting yourself to. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). How you spend your day is how you’re spending your life. You’re so aware of this now that you may be moved to cut out an activity for good because it sucks time away from things you would rather be doing. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Nov. 17). A new hobby or interest is burbling up now and will take hold and solidify in 2018. Once you figure out the particulars, your commitment to the endeavor will introduce you to new people and places. Your family will grow in the new year. Your leadership will be often requested and sometimes paid for. Pisces and Gemini adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 12, 2, 28, 40 and 15.
