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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 13, 2017)
6A FEATURES Making eyes with other men Dear Annie: My husband of me again. He is afraid to go any- 45 years and I are at our wits’ where with me, not knowing what end. We have seen counselors and I’ll do next. Please help me! — even tried hypnosis, to no avail. Desperate in Montana Dear Desperate: You’ve tried I have a very unusual problem: I am not able to stop looking at men therapy before, and now it is time to try again. If you didn’t feel sexually. I have had this prob- that the previous coun- DEAR selors were a good fit, do lem all my life. A lot of not hesitate to ask your the times, I don’t remem- ANNIE ber even looking; my hus- primary care doctor for band points it out to me. other recommendations. I wink and look at them Even if a therapist can’t below the belt to get fix the problem, he or them to hit on me, and I she can at least provide get turned on by this. I support, which you very ignore my husband and much need right now. Lane tune him out. I’m in my Annie Lastly, I must implore Creators Syndicate Inc. own little world. I shut you not to hurt yourself out everything and every- — and if you feel that you one else around me except my might, call 911 or the Suicide Pre- victim. It doesn’t matter what the vention Lifeline (800-273-8255). Dear Annie: I read the column man looks like. Even when I’m not looking at them in a flirtatious about “Jenna,” who is a hoarder, manner, I tend to stare at men for and how terrible the conditions of her house have become. At longer than is appropriate. This has become a horrible first, I had nothing but sympathy habit. It has to stop. My husband for that situation, but I thought has been very patient with me about how the letter mentioned over the years and has tried to help that this woman has two nearly me with this but now has given up grown kids, one going to be a on me. I feel worthless and often sophomore, the other a senior. It don’t want to live anymore. I have is difficult for me to fathom how hurt him so badly that I can never these teenage children, despite be forgiven. He can never trust their mother’s problems, haven’t learned how to clear the table, wash the dishes, clean the litter box, put out some pest poison, do the laundry or sweep out the feces. They could not learn this on their own? This is what I have a problem with. If they could not learn to do these things, then what have they learned at all? I learned how to do chores when I was 7 years old, including washing dishes and housecleaning. On my own, I learned to help my mother do things when she was too busy doing other things. I’m sorry I am not more sympathetic, but for these conditions to exist even with teenage children, I just don’t understand it. — James Dear James: You cannot expect children who grow up in a hoarder home to develop good housekeeping skills. Additionally, hoarders tend to hold tightly to a sense of control over their sur- roundings. (Never mind how out of control the situation looks to everyone else.) It’s very possi- ble that these children have tried cleaning up their home but were met with Mom’s resistance. So though I commend you for help- ing out around the house as a child, I wouldn’t be so quick to judge these kids. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Not all relation- ships are built to last. If they were, you’d have too many of them to devote the amount of quality attention necessary for truly special relationships. You learn something from even the briefest encounters. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You can and should become your biggest fan, especially in these early stages when the others aren’t quite getting it yet. You’ve already been your worst critic and biggest adversary, and it was pointless. Go easy on yourself. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Every wrong answer is an opportunity to get smarter and find the right one. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve traveled in the wrong direction. If it’s the wrong direction, it’s not going to get you there; so just turn around. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ll be making some choices and changes today — molding your world before someone else does. It might not be pretty at first. Art is like this. It often looks like a mess right up until it all comes together. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). There are those who will tell you that certain pursuits are a waste, but you’re actually the only one who can determine this for yourself. Chances are, if it brings you enjoyment, it’s not wasted. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Since no one wants to hear about things that were intend- ed but didn’t quite happen, your choice is to take action. Better to be wrong and strong than well-intentioned with no follow-through. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ll be wise to put more thought into what would be most comfortable, functional and appropriate for what’s to come. The way you dress today will FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE have a disproportionately significant impact on what unfolds. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’ll get into some fun. Some might even call it trouble, and they wouldn’t be far off. On the bright side, it’s likely to be the kind of fun/trouble that bubbles up then recedes just as quickly. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’ve learned from your teachers, and yet what you’re delivering these days has a flavor that’s all your own. It may be time for you to step out and share your unique take on it. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). There’s a mystery to solve, and it’s time to get to the bottom of it. Dig deeper. There is something to solve here. You’re equipped with the right tools, too, mainly diplomacy and curiosity. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’re misun- derstood. It’s not that you’re being unclear; it’s just that you’re not speaking their language. Try again. Break it down. Figure out what words are not breaking through. You got this. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You were hovered over, adored! Now the energy has shifted, and someone else is getting the attention. It’s only natural to feel a little weird, but you’re also glad that you can finally do what you want without so many eyes on you. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Nov. 14). The sun aligning as it did at the day of your birth brings with it magical blessings, wishes granted, desires fulfilled. You will be uniquely centered in your needs, attracting them like crazy, especially over the next eight weeks. Just double-check to make sure that what you need and want is really the best for ev- eryone. Aries and Virgo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 30, 20, 1, 16 and 22.