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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 11, 2017)
6A FEATURES Kid leaving the nest Dear Annie: I need your this is his search process, and he advice. My very musically should take the lead. It’s the first gifted high school senior step he’ll take as an independent appears to want to go to col- adult, and it’s healthy for him to lege and major in music perfor- take ownership of the decision. mance. But he is refusing to visit Dear Annie: I read your colleges. He won’t dis- advice column every DEAR cuss why; he just gets day and love it. I am 64 years old and have been very belligerent when ANNIE very happily married the subject comes up for 45 years. and won’t expand on I read about the any reasons. Should I let grumpy old dad whom it be or make the con- “Hurt Daughter in New tacts for him and force Hampshire” has to deal him to go? — Music with. I am part of a Man’s Mom Lane local association mostly Dear Music Man’s Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. made up of older men. Mom: It’s possible We tend to be grumpy. that your son is afraid to leave home — which would Why? We hurt. We have health show his intelligence; it’s a big issues. We see changes in the scary world out there. Courage world around us that we don’t arises not when we suppress our appreciate. We didn’t realize that fears but when we find some- retirement was going to make us thing so worthwhile we tempo- feel unneeded. We are not attrac- rarily forget them. So do what tive anymore. Many have been you can to help him find excit- hurt from previous failed mar- ing possibilities. There are many riages and relationships, so they amazing colleges that special- don’t trust anyone anymore. This is what I have learned ize in music, which you can research together. See whether about how to stop a grumpy any schools within a short driv- old man in his tracks and, if not ing distance have solid music change, at least realize how he’s programs. In the end, though, acting. I first empathize, tell- THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 11, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ing him I feel his pain, and then I encourage him to not take his pain out on other people. That friendliness and kindness breeds more of the same. But grump- iness and meanness will only make things worse. When that doesn’t work (and it usually doesn’t), then I go at him by confronting his hypoc- risy: “You are angry with every- one else for all kinds of things, but by being that way, you are acting like a spoiled brat who needs discipline. Get over it! You are a grown man who knows how to act maturely and friendly. Show love even if you don’t feel it. Change or get used to being rejected.” This works for most guys. It’s the language they under- stand. They will probably dis- like the one who says it to them, but everyone else around them will begin to see the change and appreciate it. I do not let my pain and discouragement affect my actions. — Father, Grandfather, Husband, Pastor Dear FGHP: Empathy and honesty are great virtues and useful tools. Thank you for your tips. ARIES (March 21-April 19). All frustration is a function of unrealistic expectation. In fact, frustration is a good way to learn what’s realistic and what’s not. Change the expectation until the frustration evaporates. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’re always on the prowl for new ways of thinking of things and doing things, and you’ll like what you discover today. You have to be willing to suspend a bit of skepticism, though, for long enough to try something out. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Your skills may seem arbitrary, but you acquired each one for a very specific purpose that made sense at the time. Now you’ll find a new way to apply what you know how to do. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Just as it makes no sense to be overly serious about the quest for joy, when the goal is fun, it makes no sense to be hard on yourself along the way. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Your emotional health and personal growth will be served by two little words and one punctuation mark. Give yourself some space and silence and then try this one on for size: “What if?” CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). When some- one sees your specialness, it’s meaningful. And when someone treats you like you’re not special, it’s totally fine — but maybe that person doesn’t belong in your inner circle. CANCER (June 22-July 22). While there are many purposeful connections to be made through social networking, you’d like to find the line between wasting time and getting things done through social media. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). There are some things that are manageable chiefly because you know they will come to an end. When it’s not clear when that end will be, however, they become scary. You can use this principle to set someone at ease today. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You can’t expect the euphoria of an idea to carry through each one of the countless small actions that need to happen to bring that idea into reality. Tedi- um is part of the creative process, too. It will be worthwhile to persist! VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If you think your work doesn’t matter to anyone outside of your little corner of the world, you’re wrong. You’ll be surprised and pleased by the reaction you get from outsiders. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). In order to finally find out what’s possible for you in a certain endeavor, you’ll need to cut out the thing that’s distracting you and taking you away from it. Make the commitment and you’ll be fundamentally changed by it. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Because of the day’s events and how you handle them, when your head hits the pillow tonight you will have the sense that you have come to a deeper understanding of the world and your place in it. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 12). New practices started this solar return have you growing richer in health and happiness by the week. Teaching is part of this. The rest of 2017 is about giving others what they need and cannot get on their own. This will not drain you; instead, it will make you unstop- pable. Prizes in November and July will be notable. Cancer and Leo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 18, 9, 30, 2 and 45.
