6A
FEATURES
Kid leaving the nest
Dear Annie: I need your this is his search process, and he
advice. My very musically should take the lead. It’s the first
gifted high school senior step he’ll take as an independent
appears to want to go to col- adult, and it’s healthy for him to
lege and major in music perfor- take ownership of the decision.
mance. But he is refusing to visit
Dear Annie: I read your
colleges. He won’t dis-
advice column every
DEAR
cuss why; he just gets
day and love it. I am 64
years old and have been
very belligerent when
ANNIE
very happily married
the subject comes up
for 45 years.
and won’t expand on
I read about the
any reasons. Should I let
grumpy old dad whom
it be or make the con-
“Hurt Daughter in New
tacts for him and force
Hampshire” has to deal
him to go? — Music
with. I am part of a
Man’s Mom
Lane
local association mostly
Dear Music Man’s Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
made up of older men.
Mom: It’s possible
We tend to be grumpy.
that your son is afraid
to leave home — which would Why? We hurt. We have health
show his intelligence; it’s a big issues. We see changes in the
scary world out there. Courage world around us that we don’t
arises not when we suppress our appreciate. We didn’t realize that
fears but when we find some- retirement was going to make us
thing so worthwhile we tempo- feel unneeded. We are not attrac-
rarily forget them. So do what tive anymore. Many have been
you can to help him find excit- hurt from previous failed mar-
ing possibilities. There are many riages and relationships, so they
amazing colleges that special- don’t trust anyone anymore.
This is what I have learned
ize in music, which you can
research together. See whether about how to stop a grumpy
any schools within a short driv- old man in his tracks and, if not
ing distance have solid music change, at least realize how he’s
programs. In the end, though, acting. I first empathize, tell-
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 11, 2017
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ing him I feel his pain, and then
I encourage him to not take his
pain out on other people. That
friendliness and kindness breeds
more of the same. But grump-
iness and meanness will only
make things worse.
When that doesn’t work (and
it usually doesn’t), then I go at
him by confronting his hypoc-
risy: “You are angry with every-
one else for all kinds of things,
but by being that way, you are
acting like a spoiled brat who
needs discipline. Get over it!
You are a grown man who
knows how to act maturely and
friendly. Show love even if you
don’t feel it. Change or get used
to being rejected.”
This works for most guys.
It’s the language they under-
stand. They will probably dis-
like the one who says it to them,
but everyone else around them
will begin to see the change and
appreciate it. I do not let my pain
and discouragement affect my
actions. — Father, Grandfather,
Husband, Pastor
Dear FGHP: Empathy and
honesty are great virtues and
useful tools. Thank you for your
tips.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). All
frustration is a function of unrealistic
expectation. In fact, frustration is a good
way to learn what’s realistic and what’s not.
Change the expectation until the frustration
evaporates.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’re always
on the prowl for new ways of thinking of
things and doing things, and you’ll like what
you discover today. You have to be willing to
suspend a bit of skepticism, though, for long
enough to try something out.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Your skills may
seem arbitrary, but you acquired each one for
a very specific purpose that made sense at
the time. Now you’ll find a new way to apply
what you know how to do.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Just as it
makes no sense to be overly serious about
the quest for joy, when the goal is fun, it
makes no sense to be hard on yourself along
the way.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Your emotional
health and personal growth will be served by
two little words and one punctuation mark.
Give yourself some space and silence and
then try this one on for size: “What if?”
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). When some-
one sees your specialness, it’s meaningful.
And when someone treats you like you’re
not special, it’s totally fine — but maybe that
person doesn’t belong in your inner circle.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). While there are
many purposeful connections to be made
through social networking, you’d like to find
the line between wasting time and getting
things done through social media.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). There are
some things that are manageable chiefly
because you know they will come to an end.
When it’s not clear when that end will be,
however, they become scary. You can use this
principle to set someone at ease today.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You can’t expect the
euphoria of an idea to carry through each
one of the countless small actions that need
to happen to bring that idea into reality. Tedi-
um is part of the creative process, too. It will
be worthwhile to persist!
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If you think your
work doesn’t matter to anyone outside of your
little corner of the world, you’re wrong. You’ll
be surprised and pleased by the reaction you
get from outsiders.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). In order to finally
find out what’s possible for you in a certain
endeavor, you’ll need to cut out the thing
that’s distracting you and taking you away
from it. Make the commitment and you’ll be
fundamentally changed by it.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Because of
the day’s events and how you handle them,
when your head hits the pillow tonight you
will have the sense that you have come to a
deeper understanding of the world and your
place in it.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 12). New
practices started this solar return have you
growing richer in health and happiness by
the week. Teaching is part of this. The rest of
2017 is about giving others what they need
and cannot get on their own. This will not
drain you; instead, it will make you unstop-
pable. Prizes in November and July will be
notable. Cancer and Leo adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 18, 9, 30, 2 and 45.