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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 9, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2017 FEATURES Cohabitation before marriage? Dear Annie: I liked the advice figured out who makes the cof- you gave about not moving in with fee versus who makes the bed a partner too soon in a relationship, and those kinds of daily lifestyle but my situation is quite the oppo- arrangements. We basically do live site. I have been with my boy- together. We just keep our belong- friend for 2 1/2 years (we are both ings in separate places. We are in our late 20s), and it has recently very compatible, but is this a deal breaker? I love my boy- come up that he would not DEAR friend, but I don’t want consider marrying some- to stay in a relationship one unless he has lived ANNIE that has no potential for with the person for a min- a future. Should I wait it imum of a year. I would out? Walk away? Is there like to wait until marriage; a compromise? — Don’t I like the idea of building Want to Be Roommates a home and starting a new Dear Don’t Want to chapter of life together as a Be Roommates: If you’re married couple. I want my Lane both set on the same des- future husband to carry me Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. tination, there’s no sense across the threshold of our in breaking up over the new home together and not into a home and life we’ve already route. But make certain you do been sharing. I also like the idea in fact agree on that destination. of having my own space until I’m Ask him how he feels about mar- ready to turn it into “our space,” riage, with open-ended questions, which I think should come along not leading ones. You want him to with the “what’s yours is mine and feel comfortable being honest now what’s mine is yours” commitment so you can save yourself trouble later. If he’s serious about cohabi- of marriage. I understand his thoughts on tation as a steppingstone, then pro- the subject (see whether it works pose a compromise. You’ll move before you commit), but we spend in together after you’re engaged. If six nights a week together already, you can afford to move in to a new so there isn’t anything new we place (rather than either of your would learn about each other by current apartments), it might help living together. We’ve already establish that new-chapter feel. Dear Annie: I’d like to sug- gest another option for “Anxious Adopter,” whose adopted son has visits with his birth mother but whose adopted daughter has no contact with her birth fam- ily. My suggestion would be for “Anxious Adopter” to talk to her son’s birth mother to see whether she could find it in her heart to include your daugh- ter in the visits. Our 15-year-old daughter relinquished her new- born son for adoption many years ago. Years later, when our grand- son became a part of our life, he had an adopted sister who had no knowledge of her birth family and no contact. Because she was spe- cial to our grandson, she was spe- cial to us and was included in our time with our grandson. My hus- band and I were honorary grand- parents at her wedding. — Twice Blessed Dear Twice Blessed: First, I’d like to say that I respect the rights of birth mothers in open-adop- tion arrangements, and it would be regrettable if my earlier response suggested otherwise. I love your solution, which shows real heart and practicality. I’ve passed it along to “Anxious Adopter.” Thank you. 5A TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’re not in it alone today, and maybe you never were. You just didn’t know that others were dealing with the same things you were. Check in and see how your friends are faring in the process. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The quiet will bring messages. You have to be willing to sit in the quiet for a very, very long time, though. You can get the same messages by moving through life with a certain open awareness. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You may set out to get inspired and wind up something else entirely — jealous. That’s all right. Jeal- ousy is inspiration’s close cousin, and it has quite a lot to teach you. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Keep it clipping along. Brevity is grace. The powerful don’t have time to trivialize. When you make it short and sweet, your message will be easily digested — or in the modern sense of it, “liked” and “shared.” GEMINI (May 21-June 21). They say you should let your heart defy logic — as if you had any other choice! Your heart has its own kind of intelligence that your mind wouldn’t dare trespass into. CANCER (June 22-July 22). If you really do something wrong, of course you should apologize, but don’t say sorry for every little thing. For instance, you shouldn’t feel apol- ogetic for taking up space, or having needs, feelings and intentions. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). For some reason you feel it’s your job to make sure everyone is happy. That’s an admirable position, and appropriate in many situations, especially if you’re being paid for it. Just be sure to take time for yourself. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The facts were there and you added them up, and yet you still felt that there was a deception at hand. Go with the feeling. Maybe don’t act on the feeling, but hold back any action that goes against it. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Who, on the planet, is there to support you? This is the question that comes up today. It’s not about picking your favorites; it’s about knowing who’s got your back. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). In games of cards, the worst cards can make the best players. In games of people, the worst can be avoided. Today your heart is open, and yet you’ll be better off if you don’t even touch the deck. Move along. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). How will you contribute to the harmony of the world? Today it will not be a function of donating tons of money or completing a mission in a foreign land; rather, you’ll have a stellar attitude in your day-to-day life. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Respect is im- portant. It’s a commodity better than dollars. It’s a currency that means more in daily life than any other. Give your respect to a person and you’re giving gold. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 10). You’ll express your poetic soul. That doesn’t mean you’ll walk around rhyming (although that’s one way to go), but you’ll find ways to celebrate the vivid way life comes to you this year. You’ll get the coach, team and/or finan- cial support you need in January. Love and friendship will be messy fun in 2018. Pisces and Virgo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 5, 29, 22, 27 and 38.
