THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2017
FEATURES
Cohabitation before marriage?
Dear Annie: I liked the advice figured out who makes the cof-
you gave about not moving in with fee versus who makes the bed
a partner too soon in a relationship, and those kinds of daily lifestyle
but my situation is quite the oppo- arrangements. We basically do live
site. I have been with my boy- together. We just keep our belong-
friend for 2 1/2 years (we are both ings in separate places. We are
in our late 20s), and it has recently very compatible, but is this a deal
breaker? I love my boy-
come up that he would not
DEAR
friend, but I don’t want
consider marrying some-
to stay in a relationship
one unless he has lived
ANNIE
that has no potential for
with the person for a min-
a future. Should I wait it
imum of a year. I would
out? Walk away? Is there
like to wait until marriage;
a compromise? — Don’t
I like the idea of building
Want to Be Roommates
a home and starting a new
Dear Don’t Want to
chapter of life together as a
Be Roommates: If you’re
married couple. I want my
Lane
both set on the same des-
future husband to carry me Annie
Creators
Syndicate
Inc.
tination, there’s no sense
across the threshold of our
in breaking up over the
new home together and not
into a home and life we’ve already route. But make certain you do
been sharing. I also like the idea in fact agree on that destination.
of having my own space until I’m Ask him how he feels about mar-
ready to turn it into “our space,” riage, with open-ended questions,
which I think should come along not leading ones. You want him to
with the “what’s yours is mine and feel comfortable being honest now
what’s mine is yours” commitment so you can save yourself trouble
later. If he’s serious about cohabi-
of marriage.
I understand his thoughts on tation as a steppingstone, then pro-
the subject (see whether it works pose a compromise. You’ll move
before you commit), but we spend in together after you’re engaged. If
six nights a week together already, you can afford to move in to a new
so there isn’t anything new we place (rather than either of your
would learn about each other by current apartments), it might help
living together. We’ve already establish that new-chapter feel.
Dear Annie: I’d like to sug-
gest another option for “Anxious
Adopter,” whose adopted son
has visits with his birth mother
but whose adopted daughter has
no contact with her birth fam-
ily. My suggestion would be
for “Anxious Adopter” to talk
to her son’s birth mother to see
whether she could find it in her
heart to include your daugh-
ter in the visits. Our 15-year-old
daughter relinquished her new-
born son for adoption many years
ago. Years later, when our grand-
son became a part of our life, he
had an adopted sister who had no
knowledge of her birth family and
no contact. Because she was spe-
cial to our grandson, she was spe-
cial to us and was included in our
time with our grandson. My hus-
band and I were honorary grand-
parents at her wedding. — Twice
Blessed
Dear Twice Blessed: First, I’d
like to say that I respect the rights
of birth mothers in open-adop-
tion arrangements, and it would be
regrettable if my earlier response
suggested otherwise. I love your
solution, which shows real heart
and practicality. I’ve passed it
along to “Anxious Adopter.”
Thank you.
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’re not in it
alone today, and maybe you never were. You
just didn’t know that others were dealing with
the same things you were. Check in and see
how your friends are faring in the process.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The quiet will
bring messages. You have to be willing to sit
in the quiet for a very, very long time, though.
You can get the same messages by moving
through life with a certain open awareness.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You may set
out to get inspired and wind up something
else entirely — jealous. That’s all right. Jeal-
ousy is inspiration’s close cousin, and it has
quite a lot to teach you.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Keep it
clipping along. Brevity is grace. The powerful
don’t have time to trivialize. When you make
it short and sweet, your message will be
easily digested — or in the modern sense of
it, “liked” and “shared.”
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). They say you
should let your heart defy logic — as if you
had any other choice! Your heart has its own
kind of intelligence that your mind wouldn’t
dare trespass into.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). If you really
do something wrong, of course you should
apologize, but don’t say sorry for every little
thing. For instance, you shouldn’t feel apol-
ogetic for taking up space, or having needs,
feelings and intentions.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). For some reason
you feel it’s your job to make sure everyone
is happy. That’s an admirable position, and
appropriate in many situations, especially if
you’re being paid for it. Just be sure to take
time for yourself.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The facts were
there and you added them up, and yet you
still felt that there was a deception at hand.
Go with the feeling. Maybe don’t act on the
feeling, but hold back any action that goes
against it.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Who, on the
planet, is there to support you? This is the
question that comes up today. It’s not about
picking your favorites; it’s about knowing
who’s got your back.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). In games
of cards, the worst cards can make the best
players. In games of people, the worst can
be avoided. Today your heart is open, and
yet you’ll be better off if you don’t even touch
the deck. Move along.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). How will
you contribute to the harmony of the world?
Today it will not be a function of donating
tons of money or completing a mission in
a foreign land; rather, you’ll have a stellar
attitude in your day-to-day life.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Respect is im-
portant. It’s a commodity better than dollars.
It’s a currency that means more in daily life
than any other. Give your respect to a person
and you’re giving gold.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 10).
You’ll express your poetic soul. That doesn’t
mean you’ll walk around rhyming (although
that’s one way to go), but you’ll find ways to
celebrate the vivid way life comes to you this
year. You’ll get the coach, team and/or finan-
cial support you need in January. Love and
friendship will be messy fun in 2018. Pisces
and Virgo adore you. Your lucky numbers
are: 5, 29, 22, 27 and 38.