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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 14, 2017)
6A FEATURES What is etiquette for miscarriage? Dear Annie: My sister had a for your sister’s loss. Tell her one miscarriage this week, and I’m time how very sorry you are for at a bit of a loss. I want to sup- her loss and that you love her port her but fear that I am put- very much. Say it only once, and ting too much of a focus on it. say it kindly and compassion- I’m not sure whether I’m expect- ately. Sending flowers would be ing a certain type of response a thoughtful gesture, and I would unfairly from her — sad- encourage you to do so if DEAR ness, anger, frustration you are so inclined. Sadly, you are cor- — but she seems to just ANNIE want to move on. With rect that miscarriages are the rest of our family, common, occurring in there’s a feeling of hope- roughly 15 out of every 100 pregnancies, and lessness all around, as that it’s not something we’re not sure how to be people talk about often. I there for her and her hus- think that silence is con- band. I was going to send Lane nected to a long-held them flowers and a sym- Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. (and erroneous) socie- pathy card, but my other tal belief that a woman sister thought it could be too much of a reminder. I think is somehow to blame for losing a lot of the uncertainty of what a pregnancy. But miscarriages shouldn’t to do stems from the topic of miscarriages being a bit taboo. be taboo at all. I, for one, would However, I know they are more love to see a world where there common than many think. I’ve is more support for women from known a few people who have women who have had miscar- experienced miscarriages, but it’s riages. We need to shore them up not always talked about openly. and recognize that their bodies I’m not sure why they are viewed were actually working perfectly. Dear Annie: I have a boy- as shameful or a secret or some- thing to hide. Annie, I’d love to friend, whom I love dearly. But hear your thoughts on this. — one thing he does makes me crazy. He’s always commenting Unsure in Ithaca Dear Unsure: I am so sorry on other girls’ beauty. We will be watching TV, and he’ll say, “She is beautiful and has a nice voice” or “She is really pretty but can’t act.” He tells me I’m beau- tiful, but I wouldn’t say the same things in his presence about men I see. I did that once so that he could see how it feels, but he keeps on doing it. I know guys talk this way to one another, and that’s fine. But I don’t know why he has to always say this to me. And sometimes it’s with facial expressions and hand ges- tures to indicate how “hot” she is. — A Secure Woman Feeling Uncomfortable Dear Secure Woman Feel- ing Uncomfortable: You could ask him to stop sharing these thoughts, but it wouldn’t stop him from having them. And I have a feeling that would start to nag at you, too, because you’d always wonder, “What’s he thinking about her?” The comments may annoy you less if you look at them as a sign of how open he feels with you. Not only does he think you’re gorgeous (and he tells you so); he also feels close enough to talk to you as a friend. Embrace that and you’ll feel even more secure. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). All your prophecies will not be self-fulfilling, thank goodness! However, the more you think something, the more power you give it, and that goes double for today, so focus yourself well. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Thought for the evening: It’s impossible to make anyone feel a certain way, but you can certainly be the wind that blows the sails toward that emotional destination. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). There will be a change in your team. This is not a change for better or worse; rather, it’s a change that everyone will have to get used to if you’re to continue forward as a group. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You don’t have to be an experienced cook to know a recipe for trouble. Two or more incendiary elements are all that’s needed. The real question here: What is your tolerance for trouble? LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). While it’s true that all good things must come to an end, so must bad things, mediocre things and eventually (but not soon enough) dreadfully boring things. You’re getting better at wrap- ping things up and keeping faith that there’s better to come. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). A string of good moods will lift you through the weekend as though your heart really does have wings. Of course, the influence of that certain special person doesn’t hurt. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You learn a lot about people because you don’t make assumptions about what’s going on with them. Your listening skills are all you need to deepen a connection and FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE create understanding. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You look so good dealing with a less-than-ideal situation that it makes you appear much more com- petent and attractive than someone who doesn’t have anywhere close to the amount of hassles you do. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Relaxed and playful — that’s the way to be. There’s hardly a single thing today at work or in your personal life that warrants a stressed-out response. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). What’s hard for you is easy for another. What’s hard for another is easy for you. So exchange work and help each other out, why don’t you? Great things will come of it. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You can’t change them, but you can change you — and oddly that will inspire just the change you were hoping for. So go on and boldly do what you would if they didn’t even exist. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Just because a person possesses something doesn’t mean he or she feels good about it, appre- ciates it or is even remotely confident in it. Just remember that superficial appearances are often carefully constructed. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 15). You’ll be awarded, and rightly so: You’ve grown stronger, better at what you do and certain enough of yourself to weather the very wind that would have ruffled your feath- ers long ago. Because of this, you can let down your defenses and accept new love, challenge and more with a lighter, abler atti- tude. Capricorn and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 7, 13, 30, 48 and 19.