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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 30, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 30, 2017 FEATURES Feeling alone in marriage Dear Annie: After more than right; you’re wrong.” This is not at all what I 25 years of marriage, I still feel more alone being married to my expected out of a life together. The husband than I would if I were loneliness and pain never leave. I just try to endure each day of actually alone. Throughout our marriage, he the same thing over and over. — has maintained the same lifestyle Missing Life and Happiness Dear Missing Life he had before we got mar- DEAR and Happiness: Give ried. He often takes week- him some of his own end outings and even ANNIE medicine and you vacations with his guy might end up heal- friends. He tells people ing yourself in the pro- that he does not enjoy cess. What I mean is to doing anything with me, focus on you. Make new his wife. friends or strengthen There is nothing that is your existing friend- joint in this relationship: Lane ships. Go out for girls’ He refers to many pos- Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. nights; maybe even plan sessions as his and refers a weekend away with to our friends by saying, “My friends.” He will decline or them. Stop focusing on the things accept social invitations without he’s not giving you, and start even telling me about them. If he giving them to yourself. Once accepts an invitation, he tells me you’ve built up a healthy sense of that he was invited and will go self-esteem and personal identity, to the function excluding me. He it will be easier for you to talk to turns his back to me to block me your husband about issues in your out of table conversations when marriage. Dear Annie: I am a school we’re out to dinner with a group. I am not treated as a spouse or com- psychologist with many years panion. If I want to have a con- of experience and I read the let- versation and ask any questions ter from “Torn in Wisconsin” to start, he accuses me of nagging. about her ADHD daughter and the He’s argumentative with other problems she anticipated with an people, too. His motto is, “I’m upcoming family reunion. While I would never assert that I can discern all the details of a situa- tion and diagnose someone from a short letter, there were some aspects of the problem that sug- gested that this child could be on the autism spectrum. Saying that she doesn’t have the social skills for a reunion is practically a flash- ing light to have her child assessed for ASD. There is a good chance that her daughter is receiving school ser- vices for her identified disability. Under the Individuals with Dis- abilities Education Act, she would have a category of eligibility, probably flowing from a doctor’s diagnosis of ADHD right now. But IDEA also allows for ongo- ing assessment and adjustment of services. “Torn” should contact the school staff and ask for a meeting to discuss her daughter’s anxiety and social skill deficits. A school psychologist should be invited to the meeting to answer questions about whether there should be further assessment of her daugh- ter. — Amy S., District School Psychologist Dear Amy: Thank you for sharing your wealth of knowledge on this important subject. 5A TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Don’t let things grate on your nerves. Make adjustments. It won’t be easy, but the alternative is to think the same irritating thoughts again and again. Make a move instead. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You are in con- trol; you’re also trapped. You have the power, but you’re not sure how to seize and use it. Accept the complexity. Be gentle with yourself. Do what you can to increase the flow of good. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). If you didn’t feel and respect the risk involved, it wouldn’t be exciting. You’ll do creative and experimental things because you decide not to be ruled by your trepidations. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). What you do for your happiness you also do for your health. Another thing you may not realize is that your efforts to take excellent care of your- self are being watched. By caring for yourself, you inspire others to take care. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Ambitions don’t end. As soon as you wrap your hands around one glittering fruit another one higher on the tree will catch your eye. Ambition is not about being satisfied but about embodying pursuit. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Some keep trying to bring your attention back to a rather dismal trajectory, and they call that “reality.” Reality has many trajectories. Don’t automat- ically accept the dark ones just because they are offered. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The old- school way has to do with priorities and goals. Of course, if you don’t know where you’re headed, you’re not going to get there. The new way has more to do with setting up systems and rhythms that work for you. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). There are some things about yourself that are not likely to change. When you’ve so many talents and abil- ities, why would you waste time even worrying about those things? Build up your strengths. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). When you pray for someone, do you pray to their god or yours? These and other spiritual questions are the order of the day, but don’t worry about coming up with answers. All the benefit is in the pondering. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’re seeking inspiration — as much of it as you can get. You want to learn how people face adversity and set themselves up for success. Books lie. People lie. Still, you’ll find enough truth to use and use well. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll be magne- tized by your work, a wonderful dynamic, real- ly, as it satisfies many people at once. It’s good to know there’s something in your endeavors with the power to keep you coming back. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 31). A strong sense of purpose will be with you all year. Anyone can see that it would be extreme- ly difficult to sway you from your path, most will just clear the way for your arrival. Artistic people spark your creativity. A stress is lifted in November. Big money comes from cumulative efforts paying off in 2018. Scorpio and Pisces adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 12, 1, 18, 50 and 14. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Any one part of your life doesn’t have to be the best part of your life. So when one area isn’t going right, don’t worry yourself too much about it. Things will even out for you; they always do. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE