THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 30, 2017
FEATURES
Feeling alone in marriage
Dear Annie: After more than right; you’re wrong.”
This is not at all what I
25 years of marriage, I still feel
more alone being married to my expected out of a life together. The
husband than I would if I were loneliness and pain never leave.
I just try to endure each day of
actually alone.
Throughout our marriage, he the same thing over and over. —
has maintained the same lifestyle Missing Life and Happiness
Dear Missing Life
he had before we got mar-
DEAR
and Happiness: Give
ried. He often takes week-
him some of his own
end outings and even
ANNIE
medicine and you
vacations with his guy
might end up heal-
friends. He tells people
ing yourself in the pro-
that he does not enjoy
cess. What I mean is to
doing anything with me,
focus on you. Make new
his wife.
friends or strengthen
There is nothing that is
your existing friend-
joint in this relationship:
Lane
ships. Go out for girls’
He refers to many pos- Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
nights; maybe even plan
sessions as his and refers
a weekend away with
to our friends by saying,
“My friends.” He will decline or them. Stop focusing on the things
accept social invitations without he’s not giving you, and start
even telling me about them. If he giving them to yourself. Once
accepts an invitation, he tells me you’ve built up a healthy sense of
that he was invited and will go self-esteem and personal identity,
to the function excluding me. He it will be easier for you to talk to
turns his back to me to block me your husband about issues in your
out of table conversations when marriage.
Dear Annie: I am a school
we’re out to dinner with a group. I
am not treated as a spouse or com- psychologist with many years
panion. If I want to have a con- of experience and I read the let-
versation and ask any questions ter from “Torn in Wisconsin”
to start, he accuses me of nagging. about her ADHD daughter and the
He’s argumentative with other problems she anticipated with an
people, too. His motto is, “I’m upcoming family reunion. While
I would never assert that I can
discern all the details of a situa-
tion and diagnose someone from
a short letter, there were some
aspects of the problem that sug-
gested that this child could be on
the autism spectrum. Saying that
she doesn’t have the social skills
for a reunion is practically a flash-
ing light to have her child assessed
for ASD.
There is a good chance that her
daughter is receiving school ser-
vices for her identified disability.
Under the Individuals with Dis-
abilities Education Act, she would
have a category of eligibility,
probably flowing from a doctor’s
diagnosis of ADHD right now.
But IDEA also allows for ongo-
ing assessment and adjustment of
services.
“Torn” should contact the
school staff and ask for a meeting
to discuss her daughter’s anxiety
and social skill deficits. A school
psychologist should be invited to
the meeting to answer questions
about whether there should be
further assessment of her daugh-
ter. — Amy S., District School
Psychologist
Dear Amy: Thank you for
sharing your wealth of knowledge
on this important subject.
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Don’t let things
grate on your nerves. Make adjustments. It
won’t be easy, but the alternative is to think
the same irritating thoughts again and again.
Make a move instead.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You are in con-
trol; you’re also trapped. You have the power,
but you’re not sure how to seize and use it.
Accept the complexity. Be gentle with yourself.
Do what you can to increase the flow of good.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). If you didn’t feel
and respect the risk involved, it wouldn’t be
exciting. You’ll do creative and experimental
things because you decide not to be ruled by
your trepidations.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). What you
do for your happiness you also do for your
health. Another thing you may not realize is
that your efforts to take excellent care of your-
self are being watched. By caring for yourself,
you inspire others to take care.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Ambitions don’t
end. As soon as you wrap your hands around
one glittering fruit another one higher on
the tree will catch your eye. Ambition is not
about being satisfied but about embodying
pursuit.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Some keep
trying to bring your attention back to a rather
dismal trajectory, and they call that “reality.”
Reality has many trajectories. Don’t automat-
ically accept the dark ones just because they
are offered.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The old-
school way has to do with priorities and goals.
Of course, if you don’t know where you’re
headed, you’re not going to get there. The new
way has more to do with setting up systems
and rhythms that work for you.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). There are
some things about yourself that are not likely to
change. When you’ve so many talents and abil-
ities, why would you waste time even worrying
about those things? Build up your strengths.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). When you pray for
someone, do you pray to their god or yours?
These and other spiritual questions are the
order of the day, but don’t worry about coming
up with answers. All the benefit is in the
pondering.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’re seeking
inspiration — as much of it as you can get.
You want to learn how people face adversity
and set themselves up for success. Books lie.
People lie. Still, you’ll find enough truth to use
and use well.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll be magne-
tized by your work, a wonderful dynamic, real-
ly, as it satisfies many people at once. It’s good
to know there’s something in your endeavors
with the power to keep you coming back.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 31). A
strong sense of purpose will be with you all
year. Anyone can see that it would be extreme-
ly difficult to sway you from your path, most
will just clear the way for your arrival. Artistic
people spark your creativity. A stress is lifted in
November. Big money comes from cumulative
efforts paying off in 2018. Scorpio and Pisces
adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 12, 1, 18,
50 and 14.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Any one part of
your life doesn’t have to be the best part of
your life. So when one area isn’t going right,
don’t worry yourself too much about it. Things
will even out for you; they always do.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE