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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 28, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, AUGUST 28, 2017 FEATURES Dealing with the past Dear Annie: My husband, asleep, unclothed, on the bed. “Matthew,” and I started dating at Matthew and I were engaged at 15, got married at 21 and have been the time he and Will were room- happily married for 45 years. We mates. I had always trusted Mat- have two happy and successful chil- thew and thought that I had been his dren and four beautiful grandchil- only sexual partner, as he was mine. Life the last six months dren. I thank God everyday DEAR between us has not been for what we have. But something came up good. He swears to me he ANNIE did not have sex with her, one night six months ago, but when I question him when my husband’s old about details his reply is: “I roommate, “Will,” called. don’t remember.” We were telling those I am nagging the poor “remember when” stories, man to death, but I am so when Will said, “Ask Mat- miserable I can’t stand it. thew if he remembers the Lane I think if Matthew would night I accidentally walked Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. come clean and answer all in on him and Tina sound of my questions I could let asleep lying naked on his this go. I would appreciate your take waterbed!” We were on speakerphone, and on this matter and I know he reads when my husband heard this com- your column. I’ll be waiting for ment, it looked like he was about to your answer, as I feel it will be to go fall through the floor. I immediately to counseling. — To Let It Go or Not Dear To Let It Go or Not: I’m said, “Oh, sure, Matthew told me all about that, but I’ve forgotten the sorry you’re in this position. One exact details over the years.” Will foolish, reckless night does not proceeded to explain that he had negate the love you and your hus- been riding around and picked up a band have shared for 50 years — couple of girls and brought them to but the fact is you’ve been deeply the house. When it was time for Will hurt. Though this happened a long to take the girls home, he knocked time ago, to you it’s a fresh wound. on the door but there was no answer. Your husband needs to respect that. Knowing the details of their That is when he discovered the two encounter won’t give you peace of mind. But as you mentioned, talking out your concerns with a marriage counselor could help a great deal. The sooner you make that call, the sooner you and your husband can put this behind you and perhaps feel closer than ever. Dear Annie: It seems bache- lor parties have turned into mon- eymaking events. My 23-year-old son has been invited to many of them lately. Grooms hold gambling nights or raffles to offset the cost of the honeymoon. I would not have a problem with this, but my son gets invited to these events when he’s not even invited to the wedding. I was under the impression that if you are invited to the prewedding festivities you are also invited to the wedding. Am I just old-fashioned? — Nancy in Ohio Dear Nancy in Ohio: Wed- dings have changed a lot in the last few decades, but etiquette remains important — and inviting someone to a prewedding event but not to the wedding itself is a major breach of etiquette. It makes people feel as if they’re on the B-list. If your son won’t be a guest at the wedding, he should not feel pressured to attend the bachelor party, period. 5A TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). No matter what else is going on in this big group around you, you remain uniquely yourself, con- cerned with your own business. Mindfulness of what is before you — this is tranquility. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). There’s something to be said for automatic mode. You don’t always have to “feel it” to do it. Sometimes it’s just about showing up. And if your autopilot can get you there without too much thinking, thank it for a job well done. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You need a close relationship with another person to help you feel valued and cared for. Everyone does! That’s what friends are for. If your friends aren’t serving that role, it’s time to look at the relationships. CANCER (June 22-July 22). It may feel as though you’re not doing much, but in reality it takes massive amounts of brainpower to sustain your current lifestyle and manner of being. Thank your body and mind for keeping up with you. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). As for those relationships that are more exciting than they are stable, you may still find you have a place for them. The solid people in your life help you endure the roller coaster relation- ships. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If it seems too hard, and you don’t want to do it (but you must), start with smaller increments of work. If an hour is too hard, think of a half hour, or 15 minutes. You can do just about anything for 10 minutes. Start there. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Professional success will be simple: Maintain your energy and love for the work. Bonus points if you FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE can find a mentor. You will be especially re- sponsive to the encouragement of a Gemini. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Talking is optional; you certainly don’t have to try to im- press anyone. Listening is harder. It’s often enough to honor others with your attention. You’d be surprised how little eyeball-to-eye- ball time some people actually get. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). This day gives you a chance to practice the art of managing other people’s expectations. Be careful what’s implied and doubly careful with what’s promised. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Your fate is linked to others’, so select partners, dates and friends with care. It only takes one per- sonal connection to get a party started, give a project wings or push an idea into form. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). People will come through for you and help you solve whatever problems arise. Show your gratitude and there will be more where this came from. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Your mood: ultra-driven. So you’ll get what you want and then have to deal with the reality of what you worked for. Therefore wanting well is crucial these days. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 29). Love is your essence, and it’s reflected back to you from the majesty of nature, the fantasy world of fiction, the beauty of a loved one’s eyes. New experiences envelop you in 2018; a lifestyle transformation is in store. You’ll hone a talent and fit it to a lucrative niche. Invest and believe in yourself. Cancer and Sagittarius adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 9, 30, 11, 27 and 17.