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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 15, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, AUGUST 15, 2017 FEATURES The beauty of an open mind Dear Annie: I have a gray consider all sides of an issue. It problem — and not with my hair. requires more mental energy, but I am surrounded by black-and- it will keep you actively engaged white-minded friends and family. with the world around you and They have inflexible opinions on will lend greater empathy and every subject. And they all call understanding. As Voltaire once my grayness fence-sitting. I’m said, “doubt is not a pleasant con- sure I’m not the only one dition, but certainty is DEAR with this dilemma. absurd.” Dear Annie: When I What’s a person to do ANNIE read your column, I note when he or she can see that you offer Al-Anon both sides of debates on and Nar-Anon as support most topics? I tend to get groups for families and so frustrated. Someone loved ones of those with will state his firm opin- addiction problems or ion on an issue, and when related behavioral prob- I say something more Lane lems. I’d like to offer moderate, he’ll get defen- Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. another 12-step support sive and tell me it’s all group as an additional or nothing — in essence, that everything is either black or resource. It is Families Anony- mous, with meetings all over the white. Am I cursed by too much gray world. For nearly 30 years, I have matter? — Frustrated in Gray Dear Frustrated in Gray: been a grateful member and Your open mind is a blessing, not contact person for Families a curse. And the attitude of your Anonymous. The purpose of our meetings friends and family toward your “fence-sitting” says much more is to offer support to those adults about them than it does about who are concerned about the you. If they were really so sure of alcohol, drug or behavioral prob- themselves, why would they have lems of a loved one, a friend or maybe a co-worker. When peo- to convince someone else? Keep doing what you’re ple come to these meetings, they doing. Question everything and discover that they are no longer alone but rather “among friends who have experienced similar problems.” Our members do not judge or give advice; we simply listen and share our own personal experiences. In ways that have to be expe- rienced rather than explained, we become able to take the emphasis off the person we are concerned about and put the focus back on ourselves and what we call our own recovery. In time, when we work the program, we become much less confused and able to think clearly, to deal with prob- lems of living. The problems of someone you care about can take over your life and leave you unable to live the life you deserve. Won’t you join us? There is no preregistration; there are no dues or fees. We ask you to sim- ply come, listen and share if you choose. — Judy D. Dear Judy: Thank you for sharing this valuable resource. Support groups offer a space of love and solidarity. I encourage any readers who are struggling because of a loved one’s behav- ior to visit http://www.familiesa- nonymous.org for more informa- tion today. 5A TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You didn’t have to do any special conscious thinking to grow yourself to this level of human development, and you can’t think your way into, or out of, the next phase either. So just relax! Breakthroughs will happen naturally. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Luckiest move: Make an agreement with life. For the next 24 hours you’ll give it your all and expect nothing in return. You’ll be an enthusiastic servant to the fates and the spirit of goodness itself. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re just not in the mood to compromise. Some would call it stubborn. The bottom line is that you really want your way, and you’ll dig your heels in about it, too. Anyone wanting to negotiate would be better off trying in a few days. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Two people stand in the same place: One of them is lost; the other is home. The shift from lost to found is one of accepting a place and getting to know it instead of rejecting it as somewhere other than where you’re supposed to be. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Do you believe that there are some people you were meant to know? The fates don’t seem to be acting as efficient so- cial directors these days, so you’re going to have to take it into your own hands. Mingle. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your imagination and creativity are exceptionally strong today, and you can point them in the direction of fleshing out a task in a way that only you can. You’ll make yourself indispensable. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). If an actor were to play you in the movie version of your story, what defining characteristics and behaviors do you think would be the focus for this current period? A bit of objectivity will help you see how you can be FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE more powerful in your life. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Your brain fills in blanks constantly throughout the day, so much faster than you’re even aware of. Create habits of mind to stay positive. Here’s a good one: “I’m happy because ...” SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The world is full of egomaniacs, and you feel a personal responsibility to counter that with selflessness. Check your motives, though. If you’re yielding to others so that they’ll approve of you, you’re not really helping anyone. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). If you deprive yourself of what you want, you’ll be all the more attracted to what’s on the “restricted” list. Your best bet will be a strategy of distraction. What totally different thing might you do to interrupt this pattern? AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Relationships get complicated. Love gets messy. Romance disappoints. You wonder if it’s worth the hype. Pull away to gain perspective — a positive and restorative choice. The turn is coming. Love is worth the effort. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Just because someone is happy with what you are doing, that doesn’t necessarily make it right for you. People’s approval can be fickle, impermanent and certain- ly nothing to base your sense of self on. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 16). You’ll change simple and small behaviors and get incommensurately favorable results. It turns out that your healthy choices don’t affect only you. As you do the things that help you command good energy, you’ll improve your career, family and social ties in the process. There are domestic up- grades in March. Libra and Aquarius adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 45, 20, 21, 32 and 38.
