THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, AUGUST 15, 2017
FEATURES
The beauty of an open mind
Dear Annie: I have a gray consider all sides of an issue. It
problem — and not with my hair. requires more mental energy, but
I am surrounded by black-and- it will keep you actively engaged
white-minded friends and family. with the world around you and
They have inflexible opinions on will lend greater empathy and
every subject. And they all call understanding. As Voltaire once
my grayness fence-sitting. I’m said, “doubt is not a pleasant con-
sure I’m not the only one
dition, but certainty is
DEAR
with this dilemma.
absurd.”
Dear Annie: When I
What’s a person to do
ANNIE
read your column, I note
when he or she can see
that you offer Al-Anon
both sides of debates on
and Nar-Anon as support
most topics? I tend to get
groups for families and
so frustrated. Someone
loved ones of those with
will state his firm opin-
addiction problems or
ion on an issue, and when
related behavioral prob-
I say something more
Lane
lems. I’d like to offer
moderate, he’ll get defen- Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
another 12-step support
sive and tell me it’s all
group as an additional
or nothing — in essence,
that everything is either black or resource. It is Families Anony-
mous, with meetings all over the
white.
Am I cursed by too much gray world.
For nearly 30 years, I have
matter? — Frustrated in Gray
Dear Frustrated in Gray: been a grateful member and
Your open mind is a blessing, not contact person for Families
a curse. And the attitude of your Anonymous.
The purpose of our meetings
friends and family toward your
“fence-sitting” says much more is to offer support to those adults
about them than it does about who are concerned about the
you. If they were really so sure of alcohol, drug or behavioral prob-
themselves, why would they have lems of a loved one, a friend or
maybe a co-worker. When peo-
to convince someone else?
Keep doing what you’re ple come to these meetings, they
doing. Question everything and discover that they are no longer
alone but rather “among friends
who have experienced similar
problems.” Our members do not
judge or give advice; we simply
listen and share our own personal
experiences.
In ways that have to be expe-
rienced rather than explained, we
become able to take the emphasis
off the person we are concerned
about and put the focus back on
ourselves and what we call our
own recovery. In time, when we
work the program, we become
much less confused and able to
think clearly, to deal with prob-
lems of living.
The problems of someone you
care about can take over your life
and leave you unable to live the
life you deserve.
Won’t you join us? There is
no preregistration; there are no
dues or fees. We ask you to sim-
ply come, listen and share if you
choose. — Judy D.
Dear Judy: Thank you for
sharing this valuable resource.
Support groups offer a space of
love and solidarity. I encourage
any readers who are struggling
because of a loved one’s behav-
ior to visit http://www.familiesa-
nonymous.org for more informa-
tion today.
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You didn’t have to do
any special conscious thinking to grow yourself
to this level of human development, and you
can’t think your way into, or out of, the next phase
either. So just relax! Breakthroughs will happen
naturally.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Luckiest move:
Make an agreement with life. For the next 24
hours you’ll give it your all and expect nothing
in return. You’ll be an enthusiastic servant to the
fates and the spirit of goodness itself.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re just not in
the mood to compromise. Some would call it
stubborn. The bottom line is that you really want
your way, and you’ll dig your heels in about it, too.
Anyone wanting to negotiate would be better off
trying in a few days.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Two people stand
in the same place: One of them is lost; the other
is home. The shift from lost to found is one of
accepting a place and getting to know it instead
of rejecting it as somewhere other than where
you’re supposed to be.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Do you believe that
there are some people you were meant to know?
The fates don’t seem to be acting as efficient so-
cial directors these days, so you’re going to have
to take it into your own hands. Mingle.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your imagination
and creativity are exceptionally strong today, and
you can point them in the direction of fleshing
out a task in a way that only you can. You’ll make
yourself indispensable.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). If an actor were to
play you in the movie version of your story, what
defining characteristics and behaviors do you
think would be the focus for this current period? A
bit of objectivity will help you see how you can be
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
more powerful in your life.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Your brain fills in
blanks constantly throughout the day, so much
faster than you’re even aware of. Create habits
of mind to stay positive. Here’s a good one: “I’m
happy because ...”
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The world
is full of egomaniacs, and you feel a personal
responsibility to counter that with selflessness.
Check your motives, though. If you’re yielding to
others so that they’ll approve of you, you’re not
really helping anyone.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). If you deprive
yourself of what you want, you’ll be all the more
attracted to what’s on the “restricted” list. Your
best bet will be a strategy of distraction. What
totally different thing might you do to interrupt this
pattern?
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Relationships
get complicated. Love gets messy. Romance
disappoints. You wonder if it’s worth the hype.
Pull away to gain perspective — a positive and
restorative choice. The turn is coming. Love is
worth the effort.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Just because
someone is happy with what you are doing, that
doesn’t necessarily make it right for you. People’s
approval can be fickle, impermanent and certain-
ly nothing to base your sense of self on.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 16). You’ll
change simple and small behaviors and get
incommensurately favorable results. It turns out
that your healthy choices don’t affect only you. As
you do the things that help you command good
energy, you’ll improve your career, family and
social ties in the process. There are domestic up-
grades in March. Libra and Aquarius adore you.
Your lucky numbers are: 45, 20, 21, 32 and 38.