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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 10, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, AUGUST 10, 2017 FEATURES Dealing with grief and loss Dear Annie: Lord will- later. When the children were ing, next month I’ll turn 67. In 7 and 4, we started traveling in a recent column, you solicited a used Volkswagen camper and seniors to write about issues told people we were growing they are facing. A big one for up with our children. We retired four years before Shirley passed me is grief. I met “Shirley” when she away at age 62. That was 33 months ago. was 15 and a junior in DEAR People give unsolic- high school. I was a ited kind observations senior. Both of our fam- ANNIE that I am doing so well. ilies relocated the same I am. To be honest, I summer from different am not lonely. I have states, with us coming my children, grandchil- kicking and screaming, dren, friends, former mad our social lives co-workers and church were being upended. It members with whom I turned out to be a bless- Annie Lane regularly interact. ing in disguise. Creators Syndicate Inc. But there are times She was so pretty when, for no rhyme or I was afraid to ask her out. We became friends, both reason, an emptiness comes in being the new kids. She would and takes over. I’ve learned to set me up with her girlfriends face, even embrace, it so the so we could double-date. After episode passes more quickly two years, when she was 17, and I can heal from the experi- we went out together and were ence and gain a better perspec- together every day. I dropped tive. But the emptiness is pro- out of night school to avoid found. It makes all of life look getting more speeding tick- like vanity. When I can talk to peo- ets trying to make it to her par- ents’ house before her 10 p.m. ple about Shirley, it is the next best thing to being with her. All curfew. When she was 20 and I was of our life together seems real 21, we got married, and we again instead of being some started our family 15 months wonderful, long dream that 5A TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. never happened. “How could it be real?” I often think. It was so good for so long. That never happens. — Rob in Jacksonville Dear Rob: Thank you for your beautiful letter. I’m sure it will touch many others as it has touched me. Dear Annie: My sister’s ex-mother-in-law just passed away. My sister’s children were still very young when the divorce happened, barely into elementary school. Anyway, her mother-in-law thought the world of her, and they got along very well. They saw each other often because of the children. I am sure it is breaking my sister’s heart. What is the proper etiquette for me to do something for my sister? I am close to this family also and want to know what I can do for them. — Elle Dear Elle: If you’re look- ing for something you can do to comfort her, bring over a home- cooked meal. Then sit with her and listen, or just sit with her in silence. When comforting someone who is grieving, it’s not about finding the exact right thing to say or do. It’s about being there. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Despite the fact that the astrological phrase associated with your sign is “I am,” you sometimes forget the “who” of you. When it happens today it will be because you’re in transition, and it’s too soon to tell the outcome. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You love a person more than the distance that’s between you, regardless of what’s causing that distance. It might be time or place or age or lifestyle. When love can’t bridge it, more love can. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You have many people who want to be with you through the entire story and won’t bail in the scary parts or during the slow exposition. These loyal types won’t require you to always be the strong hero, by the way. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Because you’re the pioneer of the zodiac, when there is a great deal of certainty and knowledge about the path, it won’t be your first choice. Lost and Adventure are best mates; one seldom travels without the other. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Couples who have been together for a long while sometimes get irritated by every little thing the other person does. Everything can’t be wrong, though. All relationships will benefit from a little more space and time away. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Forgive yourself for the mistakes that led you to this perfect here and now. How do you know it’s perfect? Because it is the current reality, and there is nothing else that falls into the category of “current reality.” CANCER (June 22-July 22). The blue crayon is the one most reach for to color the sky, and yet the sky is more often other colors. Your eyes will be open to a reality that is different from the agreed upon depiction of it. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). What happens between people can be confusing, but don’t worry; your heart will translate events and ideas into its native language, the language of love. Tears and laughter are both in the heart’s lexicon. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It’s what always happens: You love someone, and they change. You want to change, so, hey, try it on yourself! Love yourself as you are and then watch as you quickly blossom into the next iteration. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The absence of judgment is a nice thing to claim or to strive for, but it’s not realistic to believe that you’re not going to make assessments all through the conversations if not the relationship. You judge. But you judge mostly kindly. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). “Look on the bright side,” they say, and yet that side only applies to around half of the total day, give or take, depending on the time of year. To know a place FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE is to know it in the light and also in the dark. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The one who wants to know what goes on in your head is (perhaps subconsciously) planning to be around you more in the future, and it therefore behooves that person to understand you. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 11). You work hard, and you’re consistent. Because of your determined and predictable efforts, you’ll win a major prize. When you meet someone new in November, it will feel like a reunion. Together you’ll quickly accomplish important things. New accounts and big deals will sweeten your leisure in 2018. Sagittarius and Libra adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 10, 4, 44, 39 and 16.