THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, AUGUST 10, 2017
FEATURES
Dealing with grief and loss
Dear Annie: Lord will- later. When the children were
ing, next month I’ll turn 67. In 7 and 4, we started traveling in
a recent column, you solicited a used Volkswagen camper and
seniors to write about issues told people we were growing
they are facing. A big one for up with our children. We retired
four years before Shirley passed
me is grief.
I met “Shirley” when she away at age 62. That was 33
months ago.
was 15 and a junior in
DEAR
People give unsolic-
high school. I was a
ited kind observations
senior. Both of our fam-
ANNIE
that I am doing so well.
ilies relocated the same
I am. To be honest, I
summer from different
am not lonely. I have
states, with us coming
my children, grandchil-
kicking and screaming,
dren, friends, former
mad our social lives
co-workers and church
were being upended. It
members with whom I
turned out to be a bless-
Annie Lane
regularly interact.
ing in disguise.
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
But there are times
She was so pretty
when, for no rhyme or
I was afraid to ask her
out. We became friends, both reason, an emptiness comes in
being the new kids. She would and takes over. I’ve learned to
set me up with her girlfriends face, even embrace, it so the
so we could double-date. After episode passes more quickly
two years, when she was 17, and I can heal from the experi-
we went out together and were ence and gain a better perspec-
together every day. I dropped tive. But the emptiness is pro-
out of night school to avoid found. It makes all of life look
getting more speeding tick- like vanity.
When I can talk to peo-
ets trying to make it to her par-
ents’ house before her 10 p.m. ple about Shirley, it is the next
best thing to being with her. All
curfew.
When she was 20 and I was of our life together seems real
21, we got married, and we again instead of being some
started our family 15 months wonderful, long dream that
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
never happened. “How could
it be real?” I often think. It was
so good for so long. That never
happens. — Rob in Jacksonville
Dear Rob: Thank you for
your beautiful letter. I’m sure it
will touch many others as it has
touched me.
Dear Annie: My sister’s
ex-mother-in-law just passed
away. My sister’s children
were still very young when the
divorce happened, barely into
elementary school.
Anyway, her mother-in-law
thought the world of her, and
they got along very well. They
saw each other often because of
the children.
I am sure it is breaking my
sister’s heart. What is the proper
etiquette for me to do something
for my sister? I am close to this
family also and want to know
what I can do for them. — Elle
Dear Elle: If you’re look-
ing for something you can do to
comfort her, bring over a home-
cooked meal. Then sit with her
and listen, or just sit with her
in silence. When comforting
someone who is grieving, it’s
not about finding the exact right
thing to say or do. It’s about
being there.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Despite the fact
that the astrological phrase associated with your
sign is “I am,” you sometimes forget the “who” of
you. When it happens today it will be because
you’re in transition, and it’s too soon to tell the
outcome.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You love a person
more than the distance that’s between you,
regardless of what’s causing that distance. It
might be time or place or age or lifestyle. When
love can’t bridge it, more love can.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You have many
people who want to be with you through the
entire story and won’t bail in the scary parts or
during the slow exposition. These loyal types
won’t require you to always be the strong hero,
by the way.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Because
you’re the pioneer of the zodiac, when there is
a great deal of certainty and knowledge about
the path, it won’t be your first choice. Lost and
Adventure are best mates; one seldom travels
without the other.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Couples who have
been together for a long while sometimes get
irritated by every little thing the other person
does. Everything can’t be wrong, though. All
relationships will benefit from a little more space
and time away.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Forgive
yourself for the mistakes that led you to this
perfect here and now. How do you know it’s
perfect? Because it is the current reality, and
there is nothing else that falls into the category
of “current reality.”
CANCER (June 22-July 22). The blue crayon
is the one most reach for to color the sky, and
yet the sky is more often other colors. Your eyes
will be open to a reality that is different from the
agreed upon depiction of it.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). What happens
between people can be confusing, but don’t
worry; your heart will translate events and
ideas into its native language, the language of
love. Tears and laughter are both in the heart’s
lexicon.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It’s what always
happens: You love someone, and they change.
You want to change, so, hey, try it on yourself!
Love yourself as you are and then watch as you
quickly blossom into the next iteration.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The absence of
judgment is a nice thing to claim or to strive
for, but it’s not realistic to believe that you’re
not going to make assessments all through the
conversations if not the relationship. You judge.
But you judge mostly kindly.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). “Look on the bright
side,” they say, and yet that side only applies
to around half of the total day, give or take,
depending on the time of year. To know a place
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
is to know it in the light and also in the dark.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The one who
wants to know what goes on in your head
is (perhaps subconsciously) planning to be
around you more in the future, and it therefore
behooves that person to understand you.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 11). You work
hard, and you’re consistent. Because of your
determined and predictable efforts, you’ll win a
major prize. When you meet someone new in
November, it will feel like a reunion. Together
you’ll quickly accomplish important things. New
accounts and big deals will sweeten your leisure
in 2018. Sagittarius and Libra adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 10, 4, 44, 39 and 16.