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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 8, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, AUGUST 8, 2017 FEATURES Wife worried about loan Dear Annie: I have been mar- doctor to find out whether any- ried for 23 years to my husband. thing else is wrong with him, and I was a stay-at-home mom for 12 he calls me a controlling you- of those years and took care of our know-what and gives me the three sons (one who had special silent treatment. I have offered needs). Things have always been to use my salary to pay the loan while we go back to living on rocky in our marriage. his, but he refuses. He When my youngest was DEAR says the loan company in kindergarten, I returned can collect the money to work, and I have worked ANNIE when we sell the house. ever since. My husband Unfortunately, the inter- took out a second mort- est on the loan is grow- gage for $70,000 when we ing, and there won’t be first moved in to our home anything left from the 11 years ago. I signed the sale of the house for paperwork and thought us if he keeps this up. it was all just part of our Lane — Worried mortgage. Well, he han- Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Worried: dled all the bills — and Your husband can call now I come to find out he has paid only the minimum all you controlling all he wants, but this time. The loan is now due the truth of the matter is that he in full. The company keeps try- has lost total control over your ing to get him to refinance it, and finances. As a couple, you should we have even had a friend try to not be needlessly paying interest help him get it rolling, but he just on a loan that you are capable of paying back. Be firm with him, ignores the problem. We have been to counsel- and assure him that you are just ing, and he says he will do some- trying to protect your finances in thing or hand over the bill-paying both the short term and the long responsibilities to me — but then term. Also, there seems to be he comes up with an excuse for more to the story here than he’s why I cannot do it. I am embar- letting on, so stay in therapy and rassed and tired of collections try to get down to the root of it. Dear Annie: I just read the calls. I have asked him to see a letter from “Peacemaker in Pitts- burgh,” who refuses to discuss politics or religion with friends. Annie, why do mature adults have such difficulty talking to other adults about subjects that might be contrary to their opinions? I absolutely love to discuss poli- tics. I absolutely love to discuss religion. I absolutely love to hear others’ opinions that are not mine. Friends and family should be able to have conversations about any subject without confrontations. Adults can have different opin- ions and still be friendly. I rel- ish anyone’s differing with me; let’s talk about it. It’s possible my opinion could be changed. Just because I have a differing opinion doesn’t mean I’m wrong, stupid or stubborn; it just means I have a different opinion. Come on, peo- ple, grow up! — Chuck Dear Chuck: Though you enjoy a good back-and-forth, oth- ers might see this as combative and take offense, and you can’t shout them into not being offended. Instead, channel your passion for lively discussion in a constructive way. Start or join a political dis- cussion and civil debate group in your town. The website Meetup is a great resource for this. 5A TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Should you sacrifice your needs for those of another? Of course! But how often? That’s the crux of it. Sacrifice should feel like a choice, not a character trait. Your needs are important, too. Examine the balance in relationships. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You may con- tradict yourself, and that’s just part of being a complex human with broad interests and a mind that can travel through time and span a universe of ideas, many of which are bound to clash. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). As social as you can be, your solitude is at times so sweet that no one can compete. When you need to be alone, you really need it and enjoy it thoroughly. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’ll con- sider going out of your way to make a favorable impression or to please someone. Before you do, examine your motives. If it’s approval you seek, you don’t need it. If it’s for fun or experi- mentation, you can’t lose. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The ones worth impressing aren’t excited by high-dollar items that anyone with money can obtain. Taste, style and emotional satisfaction have more to do with specificity of choice and the reasoning behind it. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Lifestyle chang- es come about in interesting ways for you. Your next great change will start with a pang of dissatisfaction then a judgment that spreads over your being as a realization. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Truly, when you make a decision about how malleable your mood will be, you’ll have the power to stick to it. So it will be entirely up to you: Your smile could change the day, or the day could change your smile. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The attitudes of people and the feeling of situations will matter even more than usual. In fact, in most things you encounter today, the tone will trump the content. Reactions will be knee-jerk and gut-level. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). In the current milieu, you are surrounded by artfully scribed declarations and advice. The decor, the coffee mug, the shirt, the bracelet — they all seem to be barking orders. You’ll rebel. You don’t need to be told how to do you. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The observa- tions others make of you may clash with your self-concept now. It may feel greedy to take a compliment and rude to deflect it. Avoid both modes by focusing on the graciousness of others. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your restric- tions, real or imagined, are legitimate. The latter is harder to break free from than the former. That’s what makes today’s small victory so important. This is only the beginning. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Deprivation is a severe and impractical approach. Many things are better regulated than restricted. This guid- ing principle will help you navigate the tricky issues of the day. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 9). It’s said that madness carves its own reality. You’re not at all mad, but you’re a carver, too! You’ll chip and shave away at your life until the masterpiece emerges. A glorious happening in the next three weeks will be the first of five. You’ll invest in another and accidentally benefit yourself. Love and travel happen in November. Pisces and Virgo adore you. Your lucky num- bers are: 18, 7, 49, 31 and 6.
