THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, AUGUST 8, 2017
FEATURES
Wife worried about loan
Dear Annie: I have been mar- doctor to find out whether any-
ried for 23 years to my husband. thing else is wrong with him, and
I was a stay-at-home mom for 12 he calls me a controlling you-
of those years and took care of our know-what and gives me the
three sons (one who had special silent treatment. I have offered
needs). Things have always been to use my salary to pay the loan
while we go back to living on
rocky in our marriage.
his, but he refuses. He
When my youngest was
DEAR
says the loan company
in kindergarten, I returned
can collect the money
to work, and I have worked
ANNIE
when we sell the house.
ever since. My husband
Unfortunately, the inter-
took out a second mort-
est on the loan is grow-
gage for $70,000 when we
ing, and there won’t be
first moved in to our home
anything left from the
11 years ago. I signed the
sale of the house for
paperwork and thought
us if he keeps this up.
it was all just part of our
Lane
— Worried
mortgage. Well, he han- Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Dear
Worried:
dled all the bills — and
Your husband can call
now I come to find out he
has paid only the minimum all you controlling all he wants, but
this time. The loan is now due the truth of the matter is that he
in full. The company keeps try- has lost total control over your
ing to get him to refinance it, and finances. As a couple, you should
we have even had a friend try to not be needlessly paying interest
help him get it rolling, but he just on a loan that you are capable of
paying back. Be firm with him,
ignores the problem.
We have been to counsel- and assure him that you are just
ing, and he says he will do some- trying to protect your finances in
thing or hand over the bill-paying both the short term and the long
responsibilities to me — but then term. Also, there seems to be
he comes up with an excuse for more to the story here than he’s
why I cannot do it. I am embar- letting on, so stay in therapy and
rassed and tired of collections try to get down to the root of it.
Dear Annie: I just read the
calls. I have asked him to see a
letter from “Peacemaker in Pitts-
burgh,” who refuses to discuss
politics or religion with friends.
Annie, why do mature adults have
such difficulty talking to other
adults about subjects that might
be contrary to their opinions? I
absolutely love to discuss poli-
tics. I absolutely love to discuss
religion. I absolutely love to hear
others’ opinions that are not mine.
Friends and family should be able
to have conversations about any
subject without confrontations.
Adults can have different opin-
ions and still be friendly. I rel-
ish anyone’s differing with me;
let’s talk about it. It’s possible my
opinion could be changed. Just
because I have a differing opinion
doesn’t mean I’m wrong, stupid
or stubborn; it just means I have a
different opinion. Come on, peo-
ple, grow up! — Chuck
Dear Chuck: Though you
enjoy a good back-and-forth, oth-
ers might see this as combative and
take offense, and you can’t shout
them into not being offended.
Instead, channel your passion for
lively discussion in a constructive
way. Start or join a political dis-
cussion and civil debate group in
your town. The website Meetup is
a great resource for this.
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Should you
sacrifice your needs for those of another?
Of course! But how often? That’s the crux of
it. Sacrifice should feel like a choice, not a
character trait. Your needs are important, too.
Examine the balance in relationships.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You may con-
tradict yourself, and that’s just part of being
a complex human with broad interests and a
mind that can travel through time and span a
universe of ideas, many of which are bound to
clash.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). As social as you
can be, your solitude is at times so sweet that
no one can compete. When you need to be
alone, you really need it and enjoy it thoroughly.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’ll con-
sider going out of your way to make a favorable
impression or to please someone. Before you
do, examine your motives. If it’s approval you
seek, you don’t need it. If it’s for fun or experi-
mentation, you can’t lose.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The ones worth
impressing aren’t excited by high-dollar items
that anyone with money can obtain. Taste,
style and emotional satisfaction have more to
do with specificity of choice and the reasoning
behind it.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Lifestyle chang-
es come about in interesting ways for you.
Your next great change will start with a pang
of dissatisfaction then a judgment that spreads
over your being as a realization.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Truly, when you make
a decision about how malleable your mood will
be, you’ll have the power to stick to it. So it will
be entirely up to you: Your smile could change
the day, or the day could change your smile.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The attitudes of
people and the feeling of situations will matter
even more than usual. In fact, in most things
you encounter today, the tone will trump the
content. Reactions will be knee-jerk and
gut-level.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). In the current
milieu, you are surrounded by artfully scribed
declarations and advice. The decor, the coffee
mug, the shirt, the bracelet — they all seem to
be barking orders. You’ll rebel. You don’t need
to be told how to do you.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The observa-
tions others make of you may clash with your
self-concept now. It may feel greedy to take a
compliment and rude to deflect it. Avoid both
modes by focusing on the graciousness of
others.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your restric-
tions, real or imagined, are legitimate. The latter
is harder to break free from than the former.
That’s what makes today’s small victory so
important. This is only the beginning.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Deprivation is a
severe and impractical approach. Many things
are better regulated than restricted. This guid-
ing principle will help you navigate the tricky
issues of the day.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 9). It’s said
that madness carves its own reality. You’re
not at all mad, but you’re a carver, too! You’ll
chip and shave away at your life until the
masterpiece emerges. A glorious happening
in the next three weeks will be the first of five.
You’ll invest in another and accidentally benefit
yourself. Love and travel happen in November.
Pisces and Virgo adore you. Your lucky num-
bers are: 18, 7, 49, 31 and 6.