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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 4, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, AUGUST 4, 2017 FEATURES Toxic life, tragic death Dear Annie: My alcoholic for while fighting with police. sister, “Laura,” failed misera- Since his passing, my mother has bly in raising her son, “Sean,” shunned family members who who spent his life inflicting mis- failed to express their sorrow and ery and mayhem on our family sympathy at his death. She has and on society as a whole. He turned away my niece and her got into trouble in school, new family because they DEAR earned a long criminal failed to send her a sym- pathy card at his passing. record and abused drugs ANNIE We lived in fear for and alcohol. He was not almost 30 years wait- pleasant to be around ing for this thug to show and often started fights up at our doors looking at family gatherings. for money or drugs, and When he began threat- I can say I am relieved ening to harm all family he is gone. How can members, most of us (his Lane my mother continue to aunts, uncles and cous- Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. choose this lowlife over ins) had no desire to see the good, loving, produc- him. But in spite of his antisocial tive survivors? — Don’t Want to behavior, my 79-year-old mother Lose Her Dear Don’t Want to Lose never turned her back on him, most likely due to her own child- Her: Sean lived a toxic life. That hood experiences. My mother doesn’t make his death less of a put Sean on a pedestal and sup- tragedy. It’s sad that he spent his ported him financially when he time on this earth alienating his was out of work. I cautioned her loved ones. It’s sad that he never repeatedly that he would turn on shook off the shackles of addic- her, as his need for drugs would tion. So I would start there — overpower any semblance of empathizing with your mother’s grief and acknowledging her pain humanity. Sean recently took his own as legitimate, rather than trying to life by intentionally ingesting minimize what she’s feeling. Then I would encourage her to contraband he was being arrested attend an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting, so she can address the deep-seated issues that drive her toward enabling and co-depen- dent behavior. Dear Annie: I totally disagree with your response to “Heart- broken and Hurt Grandmother” that the fee she was going to pay might have cost her a babysit- ter. I have children age 12 and 10. Call me old-fashioned, but I encourage them to babysit and mow neighbors’ yards for free, at least the first time, to teach them how to be neighborly and good friends. They do not do work for free all the time, but there is more to learn from life than trying to make a buck. — J.B. Dear J.B.: “Heartbroken and Hurt Grandmother” didn’t fol- low up with the potential babysit- ter after telling her she’d research the going rates for babysitters these days. I felt that “Heartbro- ken” dropped the ball by not call- ing the sitter back. I would never discourage young people from helping out family friends and neighbors — and good on you for instilling generosity in your chil- dren — but that wasn’t the issue at hand. 3C TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). To honestly and respectfully speak your mind on a regular basis to your close loved ones (without being overly worried about how nice it sounds) is a healthy part of adult relationships. moment is right. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The benefits of an exciting hobby cannot be underestimated in the weeks to come. To cultivate such an interest will turn up your joy and vitality, not to mention enhance your image. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). If you’re being honest, you may admit that you’ve burdened yourself with too many responsibilities: bad for you, bad for your relationships. It will be hard to reassign some of this, but do it before you start feeling resentful. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Someone has to lay down the law, and it will probably be you. You won’t mind playing bad cop to anoth- er person’s good cop as the means to an end. You do this in the name of keeping the peace. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). When you’re in deep, waves of emotion are a ride. You get swept into the swell, rise and rush forward with the force. When you’re not in deep, you’re like a person knee-deep in the ocean. The wave could rudely knock you down. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). When some- one keeps reaching out to you even though you’re not reaching back, there’s a motive to examine. Is it love? Profit? Are you somehow a key to their personal narrative? It’s worth analyzing now. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You are not your feelings. Having this or that kind of feeling doesn’t make you this or that kind of person. While you experience a feeling, there’s a core part of you that is a witness to your experience of it. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You are gen- erous, but don’t be too quick to share all you know. Those who haven’t paid their dues yet won’t know what to do with all the information. Only those who have worked hard to get to a certain level will understand. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). If you think you know what it was and what it is, you might be right. But you won’t know for sure until you step back, open your imagination and ask, “What could it be?” PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). While it’s best to avoid conflict today, don’t mistake that for avoiding life. It would be wrong to assume that your honest feelings, thoughts and drives will automatically cause a problem. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). This weekend features either a big project or a massive one. Regardless of the scale, everything that comes together will be the result of a series of small action steps. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 5). The cosmic fairy dust can’t wait to blow a gift your way, so kick this one off with a wish list. It’s a brand-new beginning. Stay away from doing the same thing the same way as last year. A big change comes within seven weeks. You’ll educate yourself and bump up the finan- cials by November. March brings a contract. Capricorn and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 14, 3, 20, 37 and 41. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Today is like a rope game. Hold on when it’s tugging and you might get burned. You can’t always decide beforehand when you’ll let go. Trust yourself. You’ll probably feel it when the FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE
