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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (July 14, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, JULY 14, 2017 FEATURES Lacking a mother’s love Dear Annie: I’m a 40-some- nothing wrong and that nowhere is thing divorced mother of two and it written that a mother has to love grandmother of five. I have won- her daughter. My friends and family tell me derful relationships with my chil- dren and grandchildren. Sadly, the that she doesn’t deserve my love, same cannot be said of my relation- that the relationship is toxic and that I should just let it go. My head ship with my mother. tells me they are right, but This woman has not DEAR my heart will always want liked me from the time I my mom to love me. was a teenager. Although I ANNIE Do I walk away or still was not perfect, I was not try to fight for something a rebellious teen and did that most likely will never very well in school and happen? — Motherless in sports. I always tried to be the Midwest respectful of authority. Dear Motherless: It When I became is, in fact, written that a engaged to my now-ex- Lane mother should love her husband, my mother Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. children — and in the made her hatred for me best-selling book of all even more noticeable. She despised the fact that my partner’s time, no less: the Bible. It’s too bad family members were God-fear- your mother is so averse to reading ing, churchgoing Christians. They Scripture. She could use its lessons. Your friends and family are never once had anything bad to say about my mother. She even refused right that her behavior is toxic and to attend my wedding. Needless to that the best thing for you to do say, I was heartbroken. She will would be to distance yourself. It not acknowledge my children or will always be hard, but your head must be a friend to your heart and grandchildren. She does not treat my siblings keep reminding it of the truth. Your this way at all. In fact, she is a mom has her limitations, for what- ever reason; this is as much as she warm, caring mother to them. I’ve tried to talk to her about can give you. I’m sorry she’s been this, but she always says that I’m so cruel to you. It’s truly her loss. For all the love and warmth the horrible one, that she has done your mom hasn’t shown you, you seem to have made up for it in spades with your children and now your grandchildren. Focus on those mother-daughter relationships, which will bring your heart joy for years to come. Dear Annie: I read the col- umn with the letter from “Need- ing a Break in Pensacola,” whose siblings seem to expect him or her to always look after their mother. I went through this when my mom had a stroke. When I could put together a week off work, I drove 500 miles to stay a week with her and my dad to help out. One trip, my husband and I did all sorts of helpful things for Mom and Dad. Several of my siblings were there, too. My husband and I took one day just for ourselves, and when we returned at day’s end, the sib- lings acted as if we had done some- thing awful. You’re right; caregivers must look after themselves, or they will be of no help to anyone. — Been There, Too Dear Been There, Too: Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m printing it here so “Needing” and any other caregivers who have been similarly guilt-tripped will know they’re not alone. 3C TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Don’t be swayed by immature and petty demands, or you’ll train the world to pester you until you eventually cave to its requests. Patiently stand firm, noting that “this too shall pass.” SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’ll live out the day like a game of truth or dare. No one is forcing you, but you feel pulled toward the adventurous choices, the ones that prove your fearlessness and test your honesty. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). When you stop and wonder, “How did I get here?” a look in the direction of your heritage may answer a few questions. At the intersection of frus- tration and compassion, you just might find self-acceptance. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Struggles can make a person humble. Surmounting them can make a person mighty. It’s a rare occurrence, but you’ll get a taste of both sides of it in one day. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). In the mirrored world of the mind, everything depends on how the room is lit. Keep the lights on and stay aware of the mirror’s tendency toward illusion. The way you experience things may not be how they really are. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ve lost something, and everyone you meet has also lost something along the way. One good thing about it is that hearts tend to commu- nicate quietly through a shared sense of longing. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). For moments you will feel like a bundle of nerves instead of a brain sending out messages — more jelly- fish than mammal. Go with it. Things don’t need to be intellectualized in order to work. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). After the strug- gle, the hard work, the early mornings, the sacrifices, the investment — that’s when the results will start to show. If the results come before those things, they aren’t to be trusted. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Believe it or not, it’s important to feel bored from time to time and to ride that boredom into the deeper lev- els of your soul. This is where the creativity and depth are. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). If you ignore the bad behavior of others, you won’t have to address it, forgive it or avenge it. The way it’s going for you today, chances are good that what you ignore will go away forever. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The past is done but not forgotten. The future will come, or it won’t, but it’s not something to worry about now. You’re getting better and better at filling out the present moment. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). It doesn’t feel like it in the moment, but eventually the kind of work you’re doing today will make you stronger and more complete. Dig in and get ready to muddle through a lot of repetitive tedium. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (July 15). The world will have ideas, but ultimately you will decide who you want to be and you’ll do it bigger than ever. If it’s fame you seek, you’ll have it by next month. Try things out in September; entertain thoughts without accepting them. Exciting developments in love will happen in 2018 as you move to make your heart happier. Aquarius and Virgo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 10, 30, 2, 22 and 13.
