THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, JULY 14, 2017
FEATURES
Lacking a mother’s love
Dear Annie: I’m a 40-some- nothing wrong and that nowhere is
thing divorced mother of two and it written that a mother has to love
grandmother of five. I have won- her daughter.
My friends and family tell me
derful relationships with my chil-
dren and grandchildren. Sadly, the that she doesn’t deserve my love,
same cannot be said of my relation- that the relationship is toxic and
that I should just let it go. My head
ship with my mother.
tells me they are right, but
This woman has not
DEAR
my heart will always want
liked me from the time I
my mom to love me.
was a teenager. Although I
ANNIE
Do I walk away or still
was not perfect, I was not
try to fight for something
a rebellious teen and did
that most likely will never
very well in school and
happen? — Motherless in
sports. I always tried to be
the Midwest
respectful of authority.
Dear Motherless: It
When
I
became
is, in fact, written that a
engaged to my now-ex-
Lane
mother should love her
husband, my mother Annie
Creators
Syndicate
Inc.
children — and in the
made her hatred for me
best-selling book of all
even more noticeable. She
despised the fact that my partner’s time, no less: the Bible. It’s too bad
family members were God-fear- your mother is so averse to reading
ing, churchgoing Christians. They Scripture. She could use its lessons.
Your friends and family are
never once had anything bad to say
about my mother. She even refused right that her behavior is toxic and
to attend my wedding. Needless to that the best thing for you to do
say, I was heartbroken. She will would be to distance yourself. It
not acknowledge my children or will always be hard, but your head
must be a friend to your heart and
grandchildren.
She does not treat my siblings keep reminding it of the truth. Your
this way at all. In fact, she is a mom has her limitations, for what-
ever reason; this is as much as she
warm, caring mother to them.
I’ve tried to talk to her about can give you. I’m sorry she’s been
this, but she always says that I’m so cruel to you. It’s truly her loss.
For all the love and warmth
the horrible one, that she has done
your mom hasn’t shown you, you
seem to have made up for it in
spades with your children and now
your grandchildren. Focus on those
mother-daughter
relationships,
which will bring your heart joy for
years to come.
Dear Annie: I read the col-
umn with the letter from “Need-
ing a Break in Pensacola,” whose
siblings seem to expect him or her
to always look after their mother. I
went through this when my mom
had a stroke. When I could put
together a week off work, I drove
500 miles to stay a week with her
and my dad to help out. One trip,
my husband and I did all sorts of
helpful things for Mom and Dad.
Several of my siblings were there,
too. My husband and I took one
day just for ourselves, and when
we returned at day’s end, the sib-
lings acted as if we had done some-
thing awful.
You’re right; caregivers must
look after themselves, or they will
be of no help to anyone. — Been
There, Too
Dear Been There, Too: Thank
you for sharing your experience.
I’m printing it here so “Needing”
and any other caregivers who have
been similarly guilt-tripped will
know they’re not alone.
3C
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Don’t be
swayed by immature and petty demands,
or you’ll train the world to pester you until
you eventually cave to its requests. Patiently
stand firm, noting that “this too shall pass.”
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’ll live out
the day like a game of truth or dare. No one
is forcing you, but you feel pulled toward the
adventurous choices, the ones that prove
your fearlessness and test your honesty.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). When you stop
and wonder, “How did I get here?” a look in
the direction of your heritage may answer
a few questions. At the intersection of frus-
tration and compassion, you just might find
self-acceptance.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Struggles
can make a person humble. Surmounting
them can make a person mighty. It’s a rare
occurrence, but you’ll get a taste of both
sides of it in one day.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). In the mirrored
world of the mind, everything depends on
how the room is lit. Keep the lights on and
stay aware of the mirror’s tendency toward
illusion. The way you experience things may
not be how they really are.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ve lost
something, and everyone you meet has also
lost something along the way. One good
thing about it is that hearts tend to commu-
nicate quietly through a shared sense of
longing.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). For moments you
will feel like a bundle of nerves instead of a
brain sending out messages — more jelly-
fish than mammal. Go with it. Things don’t
need to be intellectualized in order to work.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). After the strug-
gle, the hard work, the early mornings, the
sacrifices, the investment — that’s when the
results will start to show. If the results come
before those things, they aren’t to be trusted.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Believe it or not,
it’s important to feel bored from time to time
and to ride that boredom into the deeper lev-
els of your soul. This is where the creativity
and depth are.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). If you
ignore the bad behavior of others, you won’t
have to address it, forgive it or avenge it.
The way it’s going for you today, chances
are good that what you ignore will go away
forever.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The past is
done but not forgotten. The future will come,
or it won’t, but it’s not something to worry
about now. You’re getting better and better at
filling out the present moment.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). It doesn’t feel
like it in the moment, but eventually the kind
of work you’re doing today will make you
stronger and more complete. Dig in and get
ready to muddle through a lot of repetitive
tedium.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (July 15). The
world will have ideas, but ultimately you
will decide who you want to be and you’ll
do it bigger than ever. If it’s fame you seek,
you’ll have it by next month. Try things out
in September; entertain thoughts without
accepting them. Exciting developments
in love will happen in 2018 as you move
to make your heart happier. Aquarius and
Virgo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 10,
30, 2, 22 and 13.