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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (July 13, 2017)
6A FEATURES Baby sitter plans fall through Dear Annie: I recently called a and in total shock, not only because friend to see whether her college-age our families are very good friends, daughter, “Tiffany,” could baby-sit but also because I did not think for my 1 1/2-year-old granddaugh- that the rate was a deciding factor. ter from 6 to 8 p.m. on a Saturday so My husband is in an assisted living I could attend a reception at a local facility, and I spend a great deal of club. I didn’t hear back at first, but time with him, which ties up most of my days, which they three days before the event, DEAR knew. The mother is for- I finally talked with Tiffany, ever telling me to take time and she said that she would ANNIE off and have some time to be available. We discussed myself, which I thought exact times, and I asked that I was doing. what she would charge. She My questions to you didn’t have a set rate but are: Who is wrong? Should thought $10 per hour would I feel hurt? Was I wrong to be fine. Having not paid a not get back to her until baby sitter for many years Lane the morning of the event (I’m a new grandmother), I Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. about the rate? I was dis- said that I thought the rate appointed and hurt that the should be $5 per hour, but that I would check with my daugh- mother had not advised her daugh- ter to see what she pays. My daugh- ter to call me, because she is for- ter confirmed that the average rate ever saying that she tries to teach today is between $10 and $15 an her children how to be responsible. hour. Thus, I planned to pay the $10 I feel that I was let down and can no per hour (and thought I would prob- longer trust this family. — Heart- ably give a tip, too), but I did not broken and Hurt Grandmother Dear Heartbroken: Three have a chance to call the sitter back things are certain in life: death, taxes until the morning of the event. Her mother answered the phone and flaky baby sitters. You must and said that other plans had come really make a point of expressly up for her daughter, and the mother confirming details with your sitter. had told her to go with the “other I don’t blame Tiffany for thinking plans” because I had not gotten that you didn’t want her to baby-sit back to her on the rate. I was hurt anymore. Think of it from her point of view. The last thing she’d heard from you was that her rate might be too steep and that you’d look into it. She probably assumed you’d found a cheaper sitter or decided not to use one after all. In any case, I think you’ve taken the whole incident too much to heart. Your friend did not mean to hurt you. It seems as if this carried the weight it did for you because you were really looking forward to a night to yourself — a rare occur- rence. I would encourage you to make such “me time” less rare. Get out and socialize. You can’t be prop- erly supportive of your husband if you aren’t supportive of yourself and your own needs. Dear Annie: Please do not use the term “golden years” when refer- ring to a person’s retirement. Do some research about ageism in our language and what to avoid saying in order to make progress in this area. There are articles on the sub- ject online. Euphemisms are not helpful in making progress. — An Oregon Reader Dear Oregon Reader: Thank you so much for bringing that to my attention. I hadn’t realized how that phrase could come across as conde- scending, but you can bet I’ll keep it in mind now. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JULY 13, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Taking care of your soul is important work, and you’re not the only one responsible for it, either. The ones you love and those who love you will pitch in with gusto. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Sure, some mistakes are avoidable. But if you didn’t or couldn’t, well, it’s a useless regret. Anyway, mistakes are for the adventurous, a sign that you’re trying something new. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The value of persistence cannot be underestimated today. Every time you are knocked down, get up and try and do and do and try. This is the only way to break through. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Your imagina- tion is so powerful that it will not only take you from here to there; it will take you be- yond — to the “theres” that are brought into existence the moment you envision them. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It’s OK not to be right very often. Those who need to be right all of the time are living in a very small bub- ble of their own certainty. What scale do you choose? Maybe it really is a small world, but the universe is massive. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Mastery demands full attention. The barrier between you and the mastery you seek is atmospher- ic. There are others who need your attention. To get to the next level, go where there is no competition for your attention. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You don’t always know the thing you do that gives value to another person. But once it happens, and that value is exchanged, you’ll be onto yet another one of your talents. This one is worth cultivating further. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You experi- ence your thoughts and feelings as separate from the rest, and yet you are in, of and all about the rest. There is no getting around it. You are part of this whole thing and this whole thing is part of you. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Any chance to widen your circle of compassion will be wonderful for you. Yes, it’s true that it won’t always feel nice. Uncomfortable things will happen in the name of diversity, but diversity always makes us better. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’ve exhausted a lot of the excitement supply of your own vicinity. Back to the drawing board. You’ll be surprised at what you can see when you ask your mind to come up with a preview of coming attractions. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Every difficulty is an opportunity. No one ever grew up big, strong and wise by having what they needed handed to them on a silver platter. The best people work at it. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). If the enemy is within (and the most formidable enemies always are) then liberating yourself from yourself is the warrior-like task that will both free and alter you. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (July 14). You’re the ringleader of this circus with an extraor- dinary instinct for coming up with what’s next in the grand show. Since you see the big picture with clarity, tend to broad lines and let someone else do the detail work. You’ll be adored more than ever in 2018. Just soak it up. Invest and hold on in September. Libra and Taurus adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 5, 12, 23, 27 and 14.
