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FEATURES
Baby sitter plans fall through
Dear Annie: I recently called a and in total shock, not only because
friend to see whether her college-age our families are very good friends,
daughter, “Tiffany,” could baby-sit but also because I did not think
for my 1 1/2-year-old granddaugh- that the rate was a deciding factor.
ter from 6 to 8 p.m. on a Saturday so My husband is in an assisted living
I could attend a reception at a local facility, and I spend a great deal of
club. I didn’t hear back at first, but time with him, which ties up most
of my days, which they
three days before the event,
DEAR
knew. The mother is for-
I finally talked with Tiffany,
ever telling me to take time
and she said that she would
ANNIE
off and have some time to
be available. We discussed
myself, which I thought
exact times, and I asked
that I was doing.
what she would charge. She
My questions to you
didn’t have a set rate but
are: Who is wrong? Should
thought $10 per hour would
I feel hurt? Was I wrong to
be fine. Having not paid a
not get back to her until
baby sitter for many years
Lane
the morning of the event
(I’m a new grandmother), I Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
about the rate? I was dis-
said that I thought the rate
appointed and hurt that the
should be $5 per hour, but
that I would check with my daugh- mother had not advised her daugh-
ter to see what she pays. My daugh- ter to call me, because she is for-
ter confirmed that the average rate ever saying that she tries to teach
today is between $10 and $15 an her children how to be responsible.
hour. Thus, I planned to pay the $10 I feel that I was let down and can no
per hour (and thought I would prob- longer trust this family. — Heart-
ably give a tip, too), but I did not broken and Hurt Grandmother
Dear Heartbroken: Three
have a chance to call the sitter back
things are certain in life: death, taxes
until the morning of the event.
Her mother answered the phone and flaky baby sitters. You must
and said that other plans had come really make a point of expressly
up for her daughter, and the mother confirming details with your sitter.
had told her to go with the “other I don’t blame Tiffany for thinking
plans” because I had not gotten that you didn’t want her to baby-sit
back to her on the rate. I was hurt anymore. Think of it from her point
of view. The last thing she’d heard
from you was that her rate might be
too steep and that you’d look into it.
She probably assumed you’d found
a cheaper sitter or decided not to use
one after all.
In any case, I think you’ve taken
the whole incident too much to
heart. Your friend did not mean to
hurt you. It seems as if this carried
the weight it did for you because
you were really looking forward to
a night to yourself — a rare occur-
rence. I would encourage you to
make such “me time” less rare. Get
out and socialize. You can’t be prop-
erly supportive of your husband if
you aren’t supportive of yourself
and your own needs.
Dear Annie: Please do not use
the term “golden years” when refer-
ring to a person’s retirement. Do
some research about ageism in our
language and what to avoid saying
in order to make progress in this
area. There are articles on the sub-
ject online. Euphemisms are not
helpful in making progress. — An
Oregon Reader
Dear Oregon Reader: Thank
you so much for bringing that to my
attention. I hadn’t realized how that
phrase could come across as conde-
scending, but you can bet I’ll keep it
in mind now.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JULY 13, 2017
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Taking care of
your soul is important work, and you’re not
the only one responsible for it, either. The
ones you love and those who love you will
pitch in with gusto.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Sure, some
mistakes are avoidable. But if you didn’t or
couldn’t, well, it’s a useless regret. Anyway,
mistakes are for the adventurous, a sign that
you’re trying something new.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The value of
persistence cannot be underestimated today.
Every time you are knocked down, get up
and try and do and do and try. This is the
only way to break through.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Your imagina-
tion is so powerful that it will not only take
you from here to there; it will take you be-
yond — to the “theres” that are brought into
existence the moment you envision them.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It’s OK not to be
right very often. Those who need to be right
all of the time are living in a very small bub-
ble of their own certainty. What scale do you
choose? Maybe it really is a small world, but
the universe is massive.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Mastery
demands full attention. The barrier between
you and the mastery you seek is atmospher-
ic. There are others who need your attention.
To get to the next level, go where there is no
competition for your attention.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You don’t always
know the thing you do that gives value to
another person. But once it happens, and
that value is exchanged, you’ll be onto yet
another one of your talents. This one is worth
cultivating further.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You experi-
ence your thoughts and feelings as separate
from the rest, and yet you are in, of and all
about the rest. There is no getting around
it. You are part of this whole thing and this
whole thing is part of you.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Any
chance to widen your circle of compassion
will be wonderful for you. Yes, it’s true that it
won’t always feel nice. Uncomfortable things
will happen in the name of diversity, but
diversity always makes us better.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’ve
exhausted a lot of the excitement supply of
your own vicinity. Back to the drawing board.
You’ll be surprised at what you can see
when you ask your mind to come up with a
preview of coming attractions.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Every
difficulty is an opportunity. No one ever grew
up big, strong and wise by having what they
needed handed to them on a silver platter.
The best people work at it.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). If the enemy
is within (and the most formidable enemies
always are) then liberating yourself from
yourself is the warrior-like task that will both
free and alter you.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (July 14). You’re
the ringleader of this circus with an extraor-
dinary instinct for coming up with what’s next
in the grand show. Since you see the big
picture with clarity, tend to broad lines and
let someone else do the detail work. You’ll be
adored more than ever in 2018. Just soak it
up. Invest and hold on in September. Libra
and Taurus adore you. Your lucky numbers
are: 5, 12, 23, 27 and 14.