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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (June 29, 2017)
6A FEATURES Discussing relationship issues Dear Annie: My boyfriend, our communication skills and are “Hector,” and I have been dating happier than ever. We talk about for four years. Like any couple, marriage regularly. I really think we’ve had our ups and downs. he’s the one. The problem now is that We used to argue a lot about things that were, in retrospect, Michelle still hates him. OK, petty and inconsequential. The maybe “hate” is too strong a word, but she’s defi- beginning of last year DEAR nitely not a fan. I tried was especially bad. We talking to her about it. I had each hit a wall pro- ANNIE told her that I know she fessionally. We were got a bad impression always frustrated and of Hector from things stressed out, and though I said but that we have it was for reasons that worked on our commu- had nothing to do with nication and are doing each other, it inevita- much better. She said bly affected the way we Annie Lane something like “that’s treated each other. Creators Syndicate Inc. great,” but I knew she During this rocky didn’t mean it. time, I talked to my good I feel that I should never have friend “Michelle” a lot about the problems Hector and I were hav- opened up to Michelle about the ing. I’m not one to brag about problems we were having. How my relationship when things can you talk to friends about your are going well, so this was the relationship problems without first Michelle was really hear- their judging your relationship? ing details about my relationship, — Foot in Mouth Dear Foot in Mouth: You and they were all bad. As good friends do, Michelle immediately can’t. That’s why the only person took my side in the fight (even with whom you should discuss when I was wrong) and built me your relationship problems is the up and told me I deserved to be person with whom you’re in that relationship. It’s not just the most treated better. Fast-forward a year. Hec- respectful option; it’s the most tor and I have hugely improved constructive, because he or she is the only person who can help solve the problem. I must note that abuse is an important exception to this advice. Readers, if you feel unsafe, reach out to friends or call The National Domestic Vio- lence Hotline at 800-799-7233. Dear Annie: Parents would be wise to suggest that their chil- dren go home and discuss their problems directly with their spouses. After many years, my mother-in-law clued me in what she had been doing. Whenever my husband talked to her about a problem in our marriage, she told him she thought I was right, even if she really thought I was wrong. This was to encourage my hus- band to talk to me directly about the issue and try to reach a com- promise. In hindsight, I believe it really helped.— B.F. Dear B.F.: Humility is a vir- tue the best parents instill in their children from a young age. Even when kids are grown, parents can continue to model humility, for- giveness and empathy, especially when it comes to marriage. No one is perfect; it would be wise to encourage your children to see things from their spouses’ point of view. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JUNE 29, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Your mind is working on something important. Cut out artificial noise and false imagery. Solutions are more likely to be inspired from weathered wood, cracks in the pavement and clouds than from a glowing screen. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Today’s problem will bring minds together. There’s a riddle to solve, a code to break or a puzzle to piece together. Good teamwork will open the gates to a wonderland. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Most people are afraid to admit what they don’t understand, for fear of being alone in mystification. Be coura- geous enough to speak up and you’ll not only learn; you’ll enlighten others who are too timid to voice their confusion. CANCER (June 22-July 22). How can you keep from being led astray by charismatic leaders acting out of greedy self-interest? Question everything. This isn’t the same as cynicism. Cynics assume the worst. Be a fact-checker, not a cynic. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Our minds run on images. Images change thought; thoughts make real things happen. Illusions may not have the same properties as things that actually occur in the physical world, but that alone doesn’t make them unreal. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Because you care about helping things grow, you’ll go to great lengths to learn the unique environment conducive to growth for each thing you want to help. It will take patience, an open mind and an enthusiasm for experimentation. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When the foundation is strong, the building will weather the storms and changes. You can apply this to a project FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE you’ll start from scratch. Unfortunately, it won’t help the one with the foundation laid long ago. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Marcel Proust suggested that the only paradise is paradise lost. But was that paradise really so idyllic? If it seemed so heavenly at the time, you wouldn’t have risked it all for the proverbial apple. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You look at the same thing as the next person and see something entirely different. The world needs your point of view. Maybe you’re not ready to share your thoughts yet, but work on them so you can share soon. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Be kind to their dreams. If they’ve given up hope, hold on for them. To keep the light of faith for another person is a rare and precious gift of friendship. It also reminds you to hold on to your own dreams. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Don’t defer it until tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow will come, but how do you know you’ll suddenly be in the mood to do the thing? You won’t. Do it now, while you’re also not in the mood. Show “the mood” who’s boss. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). If you’re not worried about it, it means you’re wise, lucky or both. “A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.” — Henry David Thoreau TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (June 30). It’s a pivotal moment in your story. In a country of opportunity, much is possible. Reasonable health is all the good fortune you need to create five exciting outcomes over the next 12 months. Some you’ve been working on for years; two are brand new. Helpful partners will share your stellar attitude. October brings a windfall. Libra and Leo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 2, 22, 28 and 15.
