6A
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Discussing relationship issues
Dear Annie: My boyfriend, our communication skills and are
“Hector,” and I have been dating happier than ever. We talk about
for four years. Like any couple, marriage regularly. I really think
we’ve had our ups and downs. he’s the one.
The problem now is that
We used to argue a lot about
things that were, in retrospect, Michelle still hates him. OK,
petty and inconsequential. The maybe “hate” is too strong a
word, but she’s defi-
beginning of last year
DEAR
nitely not a fan. I tried
was especially bad. We
talking to her about it. I
had each hit a wall pro-
ANNIE
told her that I know she
fessionally. We were
got a bad impression
always frustrated and
of Hector from things
stressed out, and though
I said but that we have
it was for reasons that
worked on our commu-
had nothing to do with
nication and are doing
each other, it inevita-
much better. She said
bly affected the way we
Annie Lane
something like “that’s
treated each other.
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
great,” but I knew she
During this rocky
didn’t mean it.
time, I talked to my good
I feel that I should never have
friend “Michelle” a lot about the
problems Hector and I were hav- opened up to Michelle about the
ing. I’m not one to brag about problems we were having. How
my relationship when things can you talk to friends about your
are going well, so this was the relationship problems without
first Michelle was really hear- their judging your relationship?
ing details about my relationship, — Foot in Mouth
Dear Foot in Mouth: You
and they were all bad. As good
friends do, Michelle immediately can’t. That’s why the only person
took my side in the fight (even with whom you should discuss
when I was wrong) and built me your relationship problems is the
up and told me I deserved to be person with whom you’re in that
relationship. It’s not just the most
treated better.
Fast-forward a year. Hec- respectful option; it’s the most
tor and I have hugely improved constructive, because he or she
is the only person who can help
solve the problem.
I must note that abuse is
an important exception to this
advice. Readers, if you feel
unsafe, reach out to friends or
call The National Domestic Vio-
lence Hotline at 800-799-7233.
Dear Annie: Parents would
be wise to suggest that their chil-
dren go home and discuss their
problems directly with their
spouses. After many years, my
mother-in-law clued me in what
she had been doing. Whenever
my husband talked to her about a
problem in our marriage, she told
him she thought I was right, even
if she really thought I was wrong.
This was to encourage my hus-
band to talk to me directly about
the issue and try to reach a com-
promise. In hindsight, I believe it
really helped.— B.F.
Dear B.F.: Humility is a vir-
tue the best parents instill in their
children from a young age. Even
when kids are grown, parents can
continue to model humility, for-
giveness and empathy, especially
when it comes to marriage. No
one is perfect; it would be wise
to encourage your children to see
things from their spouses’ point
of view.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JUNE 29, 2017
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Your mind is
working on something important. Cut out
artificial noise and false imagery. Solutions are
more likely to be inspired from weathered wood,
cracks in the pavement and clouds than from a
glowing screen.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Today’s problem
will bring minds together. There’s a riddle to
solve, a code to break or a puzzle to piece
together. Good teamwork will open the gates to
a wonderland.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Most people are
afraid to admit what they don’t understand, for
fear of being alone in mystification. Be coura-
geous enough to speak up and you’ll not only
learn; you’ll enlighten others who are too timid to
voice their confusion.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). How can you keep
from being led astray by charismatic leaders
acting out of greedy self-interest? Question
everything. This isn’t the same as cynicism.
Cynics assume the worst. Be a fact-checker, not
a cynic.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Our minds run on
images. Images change thought; thoughts make
real things happen. Illusions may not have the
same properties as things that actually occur in
the physical world, but that alone doesn’t make
them unreal.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Because you
care about helping things grow, you’ll go to
great lengths to learn the unique environment
conducive to growth for each thing you want to
help. It will take patience, an open mind and an
enthusiasm for experimentation.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When the foundation
is strong, the building will weather the storms
and changes. You can apply this to a project
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
you’ll start from scratch. Unfortunately, it won’t
help the one with the foundation laid long ago.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Marcel Proust
suggested that the only paradise is paradise
lost. But was that paradise really so idyllic? If it
seemed so heavenly at the time, you wouldn’t
have risked it all for the proverbial apple.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You look
at the same thing as the next person and see
something entirely different. The world needs
your point of view. Maybe you’re not ready to
share your thoughts yet, but work on them so
you can share soon.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Be kind to
their dreams. If they’ve given up hope, hold on
for them. To keep the light of faith for another
person is a rare and precious gift of friendship. It
also reminds you to hold on to your own dreams.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Don’t defer it until
tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow will come, but how do
you know you’ll suddenly be in the mood to do
the thing? You won’t. Do it now, while you’re also
not in the mood. Show “the mood” who’s boss.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). If you’re not
worried about it, it means you’re wise, lucky or
both. “A man is rich in proportion to the number
of things he can afford to let alone.” — Henry
David Thoreau
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (June 30). It’s
a pivotal moment in your story. In a country
of opportunity, much is possible. Reasonable
health is all the good fortune you need to create
five exciting outcomes over the next 12 months.
Some you’ve been working on for years; two
are brand new. Helpful partners will share your
stellar attitude. October brings a windfall. Libra
and Leo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4,
2, 22, 28 and 15.