Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (June 15, 2017)
6A FEATURES Stepmother calls it quits Dear Annie: This is my 36th me the way they do because it’s year as a stepmother, and I am easier than dealing with their writing in hopes of helping oth- parents. I recently decided that ers who are taking the huge step I am removing myself from my of blending families. My hus- husband’s children’s and grand- band, “Nelson,” had custody of children’s lives. I am mourning his two children, a boy and girl, the loss of eight people in my who were in their early life but have determined DEAR teens when we started that it is less painful to live my life without dating. Nelson’s ex ANNIE lived far away, so there them in it than to feel were no weekend visits the pain of never meet- with their mom. Nelson ing their expectations. became sick within our Here is my step- first year of dating and parenting advice: Do relied on me to help with not discipline your his kids and household stepchildren. Be their Lane so that he could continue Annie friend — just because Creators Syndicate Inc. to work. you can! When they’re small, keep them safe It was apparent from the start that his children were and report anything that doesn’t damaged. They were resentful look right. Be a soft place to fall, of me and acted out. Years later, because they will need it. If your after we were married, I found spouse isn’t stepping up to the out that Nelson’s children had plate on their behalf, talk pri- been molested by their maternal vately with your spouse about grandfather for several years and it. If your spouse is resistant to that nothing had been done about doing anything to change the sit- it. His children didn’t have coun- uation, walk away, because it seling and never learned to deal never gets better. As the saying goes, “you with their feelings about the sex- ual abuse. Today they are grown teach people how to treat you.” adults with children of their own. I get that now! — No Longer a They still refuse any counseling. Stepparent Dear No Longer: Though I I feel that Nelson’s kids treat appreciate your advice to step- parents — and that last bit is one of my favorite axioms — I can’t help but wonder whether your severing ties was a little too severe here. You seem to have a good grasp of the way abuse has affected these children and grandchildren. As long as they are not being verbally abusive to you, perhaps you could prac- tice healthy detachment without completely cutting off all com- munication. You can build an emotional shield around yourself without having it be a wall. Dear Annie: In response to “Fed Up,” whose co-worker always comments on her meal choices, I’d like to say that it’s quite possible the co-worker has an eating disorder. My cousin constantly remarks on my food choices, and I finally realized that her own eating issues are at the heart of her comments and that she is looking for attention about how “healthy” her own food choices are. — Been There Dear Been There: You could very well be right. Rather than be defensive when someone fix- ates on our food choices, perhaps we should be concerned for the person. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JUNE 15, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). To exercise re- straint will require much more energy than it does to react to every trigger or follow every impulse, but restraint will pay you back, save you from trouble and help you focus well. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Carbon can be black under some circumstances (coal) and clear under others (diamond). And you, car- bon-based being, are similarly flexible, with the ability to arrange yourself to be experi- enced in different ways. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). There are so many legitimate evils in the world that it would be a shame to waste energy warring against imaginary ones. You’ll apply yourself to real things and make a real difference. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You ask ques- tions in order to learn more about the world. Beware: Many people do not ask questions for this reason. Their questions are pointed toward getting the answer that will prove their correctness. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You and your friend agree on many things, which is why you’re better off as friends than you would be as business partners or leaders. Diversity is germane to growth. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’re in the mood for something you might not be able to afford. As your sign mate Dorothy Parker suggested, “Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.” LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When you have the right goal for you, hard work will eventual- ly overcome hard luck. This is true today; it will also be true tomorrow and all the days after that. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). What is not in the world that should be in the world? This is the question you ask yourself today, and it will continue driving you through the next several weeks as you shift your focus to a new project. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your influence will be a function of how well you accommodate others. Make it easy for peo- ple to do the thing you really want them to do. This is the secret to success in many areas. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). How won- derful to be both generous and charitable if you are able. But if you have to choose just one, choose generosity, which will stretch your heart and its capacity for joy and com- passion. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). It’s good to be happy, but it’s a tricky thing to strive for. The pursuit of happiness often backfires. You’re better off applying yourself to work you find meaningful or making a contribution to something you believe in. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do, not because it will look good in the pictures, sound good in the history books or because someone will tell on you if you don’t. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (June 16). You’ll start this solar return embodying peace, love and understanding. July brings the cash infusion you need for a special project. The next three months solidify a key relationship. September’s tools and connections update daily life and business. December shows you a different way to make money. Pisces and Capricorn adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 5, 20, 18, 40 and 11.
