6A
FEATURES
Stepmother calls it quits
Dear Annie: This is my 36th me the way they do because it’s
year as a stepmother, and I am easier than dealing with their
writing in hopes of helping oth- parents. I recently decided that
ers who are taking the huge step I am removing myself from my
of blending families. My hus- husband’s children’s and grand-
band, “Nelson,” had custody of children’s lives. I am mourning
his two children, a boy and girl, the loss of eight people in my
who were in their early
life but have determined
DEAR
teens when we started
that it is less painful to
live my life without
dating. Nelson’s ex
ANNIE
lived far away, so there
them in it than to feel
were no weekend visits
the pain of never meet-
with their mom. Nelson
ing their expectations.
became sick within our
Here is my step-
first year of dating and
parenting advice: Do
relied on me to help with
not discipline your
his kids and household
stepchildren. Be their
Lane
so that he could continue Annie
friend — just because
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
to work.
you can! When they’re
small, keep them safe
It was apparent from
the start that his children were and report anything that doesn’t
damaged. They were resentful look right. Be a soft place to fall,
of me and acted out. Years later, because they will need it. If your
after we were married, I found spouse isn’t stepping up to the
out that Nelson’s children had plate on their behalf, talk pri-
been molested by their maternal vately with your spouse about
grandfather for several years and it. If your spouse is resistant to
that nothing had been done about doing anything to change the sit-
it. His children didn’t have coun- uation, walk away, because it
seling and never learned to deal never gets better.
As the saying goes, “you
with their feelings about the sex-
ual abuse. Today they are grown teach people how to treat you.”
adults with children of their own. I get that now! — No Longer a
They still refuse any counseling. Stepparent
Dear No Longer: Though I
I feel that Nelson’s kids treat
appreciate your advice to step-
parents — and that last bit is
one of my favorite axioms — I
can’t help but wonder whether
your severing ties was a little too
severe here. You seem to have
a good grasp of the way abuse
has affected these children and
grandchildren. As long as they
are not being verbally abusive
to you, perhaps you could prac-
tice healthy detachment without
completely cutting off all com-
munication. You can build an
emotional shield around yourself
without having it be a wall.
Dear Annie: In response to
“Fed Up,” whose co-worker
always comments on her meal
choices, I’d like to say that it’s
quite possible the co-worker has
an eating disorder. My cousin
constantly remarks on my food
choices, and I finally realized
that her own eating issues are at
the heart of her comments and
that she is looking for attention
about how “healthy” her own
food choices are. — Been There
Dear Been There: You could
very well be right. Rather than
be defensive when someone fix-
ates on our food choices, perhaps
we should be concerned for the
person.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JUNE 15, 2017
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). To exercise re-
straint will require much more energy than it
does to react to every trigger or follow every
impulse, but restraint will pay you back, save
you from trouble and help you focus well.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Carbon can be
black under some circumstances (coal) and
clear under others (diamond). And you, car-
bon-based being, are similarly flexible, with
the ability to arrange yourself to be experi-
enced in different ways.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). There are so
many legitimate evils in the world that it
would be a shame to waste energy warring
against imaginary ones. You’ll apply yourself
to real things and make a real difference.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You ask ques-
tions in order to learn more about the world.
Beware: Many people do not ask questions
for this reason. Their questions are pointed
toward getting the answer that will prove their
correctness.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You and your friend
agree on many things, which is why you’re
better off as friends than you would be as
business partners or leaders. Diversity is
germane to growth.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’re in the
mood for something you might not be able
to afford. As your sign mate Dorothy Parker
suggested, “Take care of the luxuries and the
necessities will take care of themselves.”
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When you have
the right goal for you, hard work will eventual-
ly overcome hard luck. This is true today; it
will also be true tomorrow and all the days
after that.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). What is not in
the world that should be in the world? This
is the question you ask yourself today, and
it will continue driving you through the next
several weeks as you shift your focus to a
new project.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your
influence will be a function of how well you
accommodate others. Make it easy for peo-
ple to do the thing you really want them to do.
This is the secret to success in many areas.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). How won-
derful to be both generous and charitable if
you are able. But if you have to choose just
one, choose generosity, which will stretch
your heart and its capacity for joy and com-
passion.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). It’s good to
be happy, but it’s a tricky thing to strive for.
The pursuit of happiness often backfires.
You’re better off applying yourself to work you
find meaningful or making a contribution to
something you believe in.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You do the
right thing because it’s the right thing to do,
not because it will look good in the pictures,
sound good in the history books or because
someone will tell on you if you don’t.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (June 16). You’ll
start this solar return embodying peace,
love and understanding. July brings the cash
infusion you need for a special project. The
next three months solidify a key relationship.
September’s tools and connections update
daily life and business. December shows you
a different way to make money. Pisces and
Capricorn adore you. Your lucky numbers
are: 5, 20, 18, 40 and 11.