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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (June 13, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, JUNE 13, 2017 FEATURES TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE The strain of caregiving Dear Annie: I am an only sick with Alzheimer’s disease. child. I have always been very As my mother’s own health close to my mother. When started failing, she couldn’t do my husband and I married, much and depended on me for we got a house a few doors making every decision. down from my parents’ house. My father has passed We would visit often away, and my mother DEAR after my three children is now 90 years old. She lives in a retire- came along. We have ANNIE unforgettable memo- ment community and is still autonomous ries from those years. enough to live on her When we moved to the own with supervi- suburbs, my parents sion. I have a social visited every weekend. worker designated for My father played golf her, but according to nearby, so he would Lane the worker, my mom drop off Mom early in Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. is not at the point of the morning and then needing to be put in a join her later in the day. As the children grew and home. I have hired a cleaning moved out of the house, my company for her apartment, parents aged but kept coming but I do all her errands, as she to the house every weekend. can hardly walk. I now have lots of opportu- By then, my husband and I were looking forward to spend- nity to travel with my husband, ing some time just the two of but I can’t, because every time us. I tried discussing it with I go away, my mother gets my mother, but it was very dif- sick and ends up in the hospi- ficult, as they had never built a tal. She has had many minor life of their own; they had no strokes caused by anxiety. Her one but us. I tried spacing out doctor, who is well aware of their visits more and more, but the situation, closely monitors her. I now leave for only a few it was really hard. Soon after, my father fell days at a time and have calls 5A By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. to my home phone forwarded to my cellphone so she is not aware I am gone and not at home. I am also getting old and tired and would like to enjoy the few healthy years I have left but don’t know how. As much as I love her, I am begin- ning to resent her and feel the burden weigh on my shoul- ders. What can I do? — Tired Loving Daughter Dear Tired: If caretakers don’t have enough room to breathe, the light they shine on others will be snuffed out. The best thing for you and your relationship with your mom is to give yourself more space. Invest time in self-care; take those trips with your husband. If you don’t, resentment will embitter you. Visit the Family Caregiver Alliance website, at https://www.caregiver.org, for information on resources and support groups. You have already done so much. Though your mother may not be in a place to ver- bally express it, you are a steadfast friend and compas- sionate daughter. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Today’s conun- drum: If you act out of a desire to make your- self happy you will wind up suffering instead. Act out of a desire to benefit others and your eyes will be opened to the opportunities in the situation. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). The adrenaline rush that comes with feeling passionate about someone can be addictive. That feeling is short-lived, though, and you’ve learned to anticipate the mellow follow-up. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You continue to be in high demand. Don’t automatically accept other people’s timetables as your own. Take control of your schedule and your attention. Consider changing the notification settings on your phone. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’d like to believe you are in control of your opinion of yourself, but unhealthy relationships do have a way of eroding self-esteem, and healthy ones have the opposite effect. How is a relationship helping or hurting you? LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Whenever you feel im- patient, the fundamental problem is an internal one, namely a belief that the world needs to operate differently to accommodate you. You’ll love what happens when you stay measured and calm instead. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). No moment is inherently more perfect than another, though certainly there are moments that are more memorable and/or personally satisfying to a particular ego. Just don’t expect such things to be universal. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ll be called to a role or responsibility. Your service to the group comes with some tedium, but the work will go FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE by quickly. Besides, it’s better than the alterna- tive: being left out of things. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Your heart will soften, and you’ll feel more for the whole world, not just for the main object of your affection. The love you give will in turn make you more lovable. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You and your group are in it together. Keep up the good communication and you’ll be able to rely on each other to do what no individual could do alone. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’ll find the behavior of loved ones to be less than optimum. The frustration comes when you think you can control this. You can’t, but as you learn to skillfully modify your reactions, things will change. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). From the outsider view a lot of what you’ll do today won’t make sense, but you know perfectly why it has to happen the way it does. You’ll teach someone, too. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The answer to a business problem will be found in another business entirely. The secrets to solving a mys- tery in your own life will be present in someone else’s life. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (June 14). This busy solar year shows you building, re-building and making moves. You’ll be surrounded by enthusiastic and loving supporters. There’s opportunity for a savvy investment in July. Sep- tember will bring new subjects of study and among them one so fascinating it may begin a passion you’ll follow for years. Cancer and Capricorn adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 20, 2, 4, 44 and 18.
