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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (June 2, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, JUNE 2, 2017 FEATURES Revisiting ‘thank you’ etiquette Dear Annie: Seven months their messages. — Confused in after attending a wedding, I Connecticut Dear Confused: They prob- just received a computer-gener- ated thank-you note. The note ably received your gift; they just was printed on a label and then never got their manners. There’s stuck on a purchased note card. no real tactful way to speak to Although it addressed us by the groom’s parents about this issue, so I would just let name, it never acknowl- DEAR it go. As a poet wrote edged any gift given. It nearly 1,000 years ago, simply said they appre- ANNIE “the test of good man- ciated our “sharing (our) ners is to be patient with generosity” and thanked the bad ones.” us for being part of their Brand-new newly- day and for being in their weds: Please handwrite lives. Also included was your thank-you notes. a tiny picture of the cou- It’s easier to deal with ple. There were fewer Lane a cramped hand for a than 100 guests at the Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. day than guests feeling wedding, so the couple slighted for years. were not overwhelmed Dear Annie: The letter from with thank-you notes to write. The groom’s parents are great “Still-Grieving Parent” could friends of ours, and we gave the have been written by me a cou- gift to them prior to the wedding, ple of years ago, but thanks to but we’re now left wondering: the certified grief counselor at Did the couple actually get the Hope Hospice, I’ve come a long gift and know it was from us? Do way. Losing a child is the hard- I say something to the groom’s est thing any parent could ever parents, and if so, how do I tact- deal with, and we are entitled to fully say this? I would hate to that grief. That does not give us per- think that this is the new trend among young brides. Thank- mission to expect other people fully, I know three recent young involved to feel the exact same brides who were very prompt way we do or act exactly as we with their notes and personalized do. “Still-Grieving Parent” is being selfish to expect her son- in-law to choose being alone for the duration of her personal grieving period. If she loved her daughter, she would respect that her daughter would want some- one she loved to get on with his life. We all know that no one can ever take the place of our chil- dren, but it is different when you lose a spouse. I know that, too. She should continue with pri- vate counseling but should also seek out a group of parents who have lost adult children. I still grieve after three years, but I can enjoy a happy relationship with my daughter-in-law, her new husband and their family, includ- ing the two extra grandkids. It cannot replace my son, but when I look at how much his children have achieved, it shows me I did the right thing by not interfering. — Been There, Done That Dear Been: It’s invaluable to hear the perspective of some- one who has lived through this and come out the other side. I believe you’re right that I was too hard on the son-in-law in my response to “Still-Grieving Par- ent.” Spouses grieve in different ways. It should not be taken as disrespectful. 3C TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Learning about another person will be a hit-and-miss process; the misses teach you as much as the hits. Soon you’ll read the other person with more clarity and be smoother in your interactions, too. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Looking back, the bad feelings are what led you to create a better life. That’s why you don’t automatically shy away from things that have the potential to be un- pleasant if they also might lead to your growth. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). One of the ways your mind works to defend and protect you is to blur your memory of the bad stuff and make the good stuff glitter in your review. That’s why it’s good to write things down today — a reality check for later. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You may feel as though you have to be twice as good as the others in order to get half of what they have (and you’re not wrong about that). Don’t take it personally; it’s just a function of being new and paying dues. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Life won’t push you into anything. But if you can’t find a reason to stay, that’s a pretty good reason to go. So push yourself. The adventures don’t exist until you create them. Take the steps. Answer the call. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). There are those who don’t have as much natural empathy as you do. Then there are those who have it but don’t act on it: They’ll be feeling this later. For now, stick near the big-hearted friends. They’ve much to offer! CANCER (June 22-July 22). On days like today, it feels somehow more crucial to get the right kind of attention. Bottom line: Don’t spend time with people who make you feel more alone than you do when you’re alone. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Unrequited love is eas- ier to get past than once-requited love because it doesn’t involve a process of wondering what went wrong. You’ve been on both sides of this, so you’ll have compassion for the one who pines for you. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). It may be a fight to hang on, but it shouldn’t be a fight to let go. Letting go is easy. It doesn’t require any special skill or strength. Letting go is simply a decision. Open your hands. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’re open and ready to connect with new and old friends. Your engagement with what’s around you brings people closer. Your smile tells them it’s OK to talk to you. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Part of the fun of new relationships is fantasizing about what they might turn into. Enjoy the dreams of what may be. Soon enough you’ll come to a mature understanding of reality. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). To befriend the ones who are naturally a part of your daily life takes an average amount of spiritual generosity. To go out of your way to befriend someone — that’s for the spiritually advanced, which you are! TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (June 3). Your best supporters will push you, not pressure you. Correct and worthy goals come with their own power source — a jetpack of motivation. So while you’ll need help in the beginning, once you lift off, you’ll keep it until you get to the des- tination. Relationships will be sweet, especially now and November. Cancer and Capricorn adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 20, 11, 15 and 27.
