THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, JUNE 2, 2017
FEATURES
Revisiting ‘thank you’ etiquette
Dear Annie: Seven months their messages. — Confused in
after attending a wedding, I Connecticut
Dear Confused: They prob-
just received a computer-gener-
ated thank-you note. The note ably received your gift; they just
was printed on a label and then never got their manners. There’s
stuck on a purchased note card. no real tactful way to speak to
Although it addressed us by the groom’s parents about this
issue, so I would just let
name, it never acknowl-
DEAR
it go. As a poet wrote
edged any gift given. It
nearly 1,000 years ago,
simply said they appre-
ANNIE
“the test of good man-
ciated our “sharing (our)
ners is to be patient with
generosity” and thanked
the bad ones.”
us for being part of their
Brand-new newly-
day and for being in their
weds: Please handwrite
lives. Also included was
your thank-you notes.
a tiny picture of the cou-
It’s easier to deal with
ple. There were fewer
Lane
a cramped hand for a
than 100 guests at the Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
day than guests feeling
wedding, so the couple
slighted for years.
were not overwhelmed
Dear Annie: The letter from
with thank-you notes to write.
The groom’s parents are great “Still-Grieving Parent” could
friends of ours, and we gave the have been written by me a cou-
gift to them prior to the wedding, ple of years ago, but thanks to
but we’re now left wondering: the certified grief counselor at
Did the couple actually get the Hope Hospice, I’ve come a long
gift and know it was from us? Do way. Losing a child is the hard-
I say something to the groom’s est thing any parent could ever
parents, and if so, how do I tact- deal with, and we are entitled to
fully say this? I would hate to that grief.
That does not give us per-
think that this is the new trend
among young brides. Thank- mission to expect other people
fully, I know three recent young involved to feel the exact same
brides who were very prompt way we do or act exactly as we
with their notes and personalized do. “Still-Grieving Parent” is
being selfish to expect her son-
in-law to choose being alone
for the duration of her personal
grieving period. If she loved her
daughter, she would respect that
her daughter would want some-
one she loved to get on with his
life. We all know that no one can
ever take the place of our chil-
dren, but it is different when you
lose a spouse. I know that, too.
She should continue with pri-
vate counseling but should also
seek out a group of parents who
have lost adult children. I still
grieve after three years, but I can
enjoy a happy relationship with
my daughter-in-law, her new
husband and their family, includ-
ing the two extra grandkids. It
cannot replace my son, but when
I look at how much his children
have achieved, it shows me I did
the right thing by not interfering.
— Been There, Done That
Dear Been: It’s invaluable
to hear the perspective of some-
one who has lived through this
and come out the other side. I
believe you’re right that I was
too hard on the son-in-law in my
response to “Still-Grieving Par-
ent.” Spouses grieve in different
ways. It should not be taken as
disrespectful.
3C
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Learning about
another person will be a hit-and-miss process;
the misses teach you as much as the hits. Soon
you’ll read the other person with more clarity
and be smoother in your interactions, too.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Looking back, the
bad feelings are what led you to create a better
life. That’s why you don’t automatically shy away
from things that have the potential to be un-
pleasant if they also might lead to your growth.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). One of the ways
your mind works to defend and protect you is
to blur your memory of the bad stuff and make
the good stuff glitter in your review. That’s why
it’s good to write things down today — a reality
check for later.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You may
feel as though you have to be twice as good as
the others in order to get half of what they have
(and you’re not wrong about that). Don’t take it
personally; it’s just a function of being new and
paying dues.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Life won’t push you
into anything. But if you can’t find a reason to
stay, that’s a pretty good reason to go. So push
yourself. The adventures don’t exist until you
create them. Take the steps. Answer the call.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). There are
those who don’t have as much natural empathy
as you do. Then there are those who have it but
don’t act on it: They’ll be feeling this later. For
now, stick near the big-hearted friends. They’ve
much to offer!
CANCER (June 22-July 22). On days like
today, it feels somehow more crucial to get the
right kind of attention. Bottom line: Don’t spend
time with people who make you feel more alone
than you do when you’re alone.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Unrequited love is eas-
ier to get past than once-requited love because
it doesn’t involve a process of wondering what
went wrong. You’ve been on both sides of this,
so you’ll have compassion for the one who
pines for you.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). It may be a fight
to hang on, but it shouldn’t be a fight to let go.
Letting go is easy. It doesn’t require any special
skill or strength. Letting go is simply a decision.
Open your hands.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’re open and
ready to connect with new and old friends. Your
engagement with what’s around you brings
people closer. Your smile tells them it’s OK to
talk to you.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Part of the fun
of new relationships is fantasizing about what
they might turn into. Enjoy the dreams of what
may be. Soon enough you’ll come to a mature
understanding of reality.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). To befriend the
ones who are naturally a part of your daily life
takes an average amount of spiritual generosity.
To go out of your way to befriend someone —
that’s for the spiritually advanced, which you
are!
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (June 3). Your
best supporters will push you, not pressure you.
Correct and worthy goals come with their own
power source — a jetpack of motivation. So
while you’ll need help in the beginning, once
you lift off, you’ll keep it until you get to the des-
tination. Relationships will be sweet, especially
now and November. Cancer and Capricorn
adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 20, 11,
15 and 27.