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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (May 12, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, MAY 12, 2017 FEATURES A birthday surprise letdown Dear Annie: I am writing to you don’t want to seem ungrateful. Is with a problem that probably seems there any way to address this with pretty petty compared with some of him without hurting his feelings? the more life-or-death questions — Blah Birthday Dear Blah: Expectation is the you get, but I am too embarrassed to bring it up with anyone else, so root of all disappointment. Though it’s perfectly healthy to have stan- here goes. dards for how you’d like I recently celebrated DEAR to be treated in your rela- my 30th birthday. Weeks tionship, it’s import- in advance, my husband ANNIE ant to learn how to man- promised me a great day. age expectations — and For weeks, I looked for- to take the initiative when ward to it and imag- it’s really important to you ined what he might have that something go a certain planned. We’d talked about way. I’ve known many hot air balloon rides not too people who love celebrat- long before that, so I was Lane ing their birthdays in a big thinking that might be the Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. way, so they take the plan- secret plan. ning upon themselves. The day arrived, and I woke up wondering what the plan There’s no shame in that. Finally, I would just give your was. Then I kept wondering. We watched TV and bummed around husband the benefit of the doubt more than we usually would on a on this one and communicate more Saturday — which was a treat, in clearly about your wishes next a way, but nothing special. Finally, time. Dear Annie: I just read the let- around 6 p.m., he told me to get ter from “Crybaby,” the woman ready to go out; he had a surprise. Well, he ended up taking me to a who is embarrassed by exces- concert of one of his favorite bands. sive crying. Whenever she feels I like them, too, but he’s definitely an extreme emotion — positive or the bigger fan. I tried to conceal negative — she cries. I can empathize. I have the my disappointment. It’s been a few weeks now, and I still find it same problem, although for me it is nagging at the back of my mind. I almost always only for extremely positive emotions. The thing is that I am a man. Forgive the gender ste- reotype, but it is really inappropri- ate for a male to cry a lot, especially when it’s not even over anything bad. Anyway, I once happened to sit next to a psychologist on a long train ride, and I confided my problem to him. He basically said, “Look, this is just the way your body is wired. Your emotions come out through your tear ducts. Some people react in other ‘inappropri- ate’ ways. In your case, it is through tears. Accept that this is the way you are, and don’t make a big deal of it, because chances are that this is not something you can change. It’s not harmful, and if you don’t make a big deal out of it, others will probably not, either. If they do, you can explain it any way you wish.” When people do comment, which is really rare, I simply say something to the effect of, “When I get emotional in certain ways, the tears flow. I’m not really crying; I’m just shedding tears. Please just ignore it.” — Another Crier Dear Another: I’m sure your empathetic words will make “Cry- baby” feel less ashamed of her active tear ducts. 3C TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). For now, you don’t have to worry about coming up with brilliantly creative or innovative solutions. In fact, you don’t have to worry about doing so much as not doing. You’ll be defined by what you say no to. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Find what you lost track of. It could be a person, an item or a dream you let go of. You can get it back. Setting an intention to do so (and making it known) will be the first step. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Bottom line, things don’t have to be pleasant to have a positive impact. If it helps you grow in your capacity to understand complexity, keeps you up-to-date with trends, or expands your worldview, it’s good for you. satisfaction. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Diversify. New environments and people will be lucky for you. The wider your array of influences, the deeper your work will be. As a byproduct you may find that your work appeals to a greater number of people. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Acting out the motions of a self-directed, confident person will produce similar results to actually being a self-directed, confident person. Put on the brave smile and move forward. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’ll be drawn to what can be measured, assured by the tangibly quantifiable, excited by the solidity of facts. With this approach, you’ll help someone make sense of the world. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ll look ahead and begin work on problems before your need to do so becomes urgent. Your next breakthrough idea will be inspired by something that is outside what you’d normally be exposed to. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). It’s nice to feel comfortable, but it’s not necessary or even particularly common, especially among people of merit. You and the others of strong character consider comfort to be a luxury if not a warning signal. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The issue only exists when your mind’s eye zooms into the close view. Zoom out to the panorama and you’ll see that that help is on the way, opportunities are nearing, and success is on the horizon! PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Recognize what drains your self-control, and patch up the area to prevent future leaks. Unhappy relationships are a main drain, since you tend to take on the emotions of the people you are around. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Don’t try; do! Trying is for regrettable obligations. If you can’t get totally behind it, drop it. Your resistance to free yourself is based in fear. What you should really be afraid of is wasting everyone’s time. Be bold. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (May 13). Your optimism has excellent grounding, and you’ll get hard proof of this over the next seven weeks. Friendships, even those not related to your work, will cause you to be hugely pro- ductive and richer, too. There’s an unspoken contract that begins this month and com- pletes one full circle by October. Sagittarius and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 10, 4, 44 and 14. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The demonstrative elation upon arriving at a goal almost always happens in movies. In real life the dramatic payoff will be replaced by quiet but profound FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE
