THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, MAY 12, 2017
FEATURES
A birthday surprise letdown
Dear Annie: I am writing to you don’t want to seem ungrateful. Is
with a problem that probably seems there any way to address this with
pretty petty compared with some of him without hurting his feelings?
the more life-or-death questions — Blah Birthday
Dear Blah: Expectation is the
you get, but I am too embarrassed
to bring it up with anyone else, so root of all disappointment. Though
it’s perfectly healthy to have stan-
here goes.
dards for how you’d like
I recently celebrated
DEAR
to be treated in your rela-
my 30th birthday. Weeks
tionship, it’s import-
in advance, my husband
ANNIE
ant to learn how to man-
promised me a great day.
age expectations — and
For weeks, I looked for-
to take the initiative when
ward to it and imag-
it’s really important to you
ined what he might have
that something go a certain
planned. We’d talked about
way. I’ve known many
hot air balloon rides not too
people who love celebrat-
long before that, so I was
Lane
ing their birthdays in a big
thinking that might be the Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
way, so they take the plan-
secret plan.
ning upon themselves.
The day arrived, and I
woke up wondering what the plan There’s no shame in that.
Finally, I would just give your
was. Then I kept wondering. We
watched TV and bummed around husband the benefit of the doubt
more than we usually would on a on this one and communicate more
Saturday — which was a treat, in clearly about your wishes next
a way, but nothing special. Finally, time.
Dear Annie: I just read the let-
around 6 p.m., he told me to get
ter from “Crybaby,” the woman
ready to go out; he had a surprise.
Well, he ended up taking me to a who is embarrassed by exces-
concert of one of his favorite bands. sive crying. Whenever she feels
I like them, too, but he’s definitely an extreme emotion — positive or
the bigger fan. I tried to conceal negative — she cries.
I can empathize. I have the
my disappointment. It’s been a
few weeks now, and I still find it same problem, although for me it is
nagging at the back of my mind. I almost always only for extremely
positive emotions. The thing is that
I am a man. Forgive the gender ste-
reotype, but it is really inappropri-
ate for a male to cry a lot, especially
when it’s not even over anything
bad.
Anyway, I once happened to
sit next to a psychologist on a
long train ride, and I confided my
problem to him. He basically said,
“Look, this is just the way your
body is wired. Your emotions come
out through your tear ducts. Some
people react in other ‘inappropri-
ate’ ways. In your case, it is through
tears. Accept that this is the way
you are, and don’t make a big deal
of it, because chances are that this
is not something you can change.
It’s not harmful, and if you don’t
make a big deal out of it, others will
probably not, either. If they do, you
can explain it any way you wish.”
When people do comment,
which is really rare, I simply say
something to the effect of, “When
I get emotional in certain ways, the
tears flow. I’m not really crying;
I’m just shedding tears. Please just
ignore it.”
— Another Crier
Dear Another: I’m sure your
empathetic words will make “Cry-
baby” feel less ashamed of her
active tear ducts.
3C
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). For now, you
don’t have to worry about coming up with
brilliantly creative or innovative solutions. In
fact, you don’t have to worry about doing so
much as not doing. You’ll be defined by what
you say no to.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Find what you
lost track of. It could be a person, an item or
a dream you let go of. You can get it back.
Setting an intention to do so (and making it
known) will be the first step.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Bottom line,
things don’t have to be pleasant to have a
positive impact. If it helps you grow in your
capacity to understand complexity, keeps
you up-to-date with trends, or expands your
worldview, it’s good for you.
satisfaction.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Diversify. New
environments and people will be lucky for you.
The wider your array of influences, the deeper
your work will be. As a byproduct you may find
that your work appeals to a greater number
of people.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Acting
out the motions of a self-directed, confident
person will produce similar results to actually
being a self-directed, confident person. Put on
the brave smile and move forward.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’ll be
drawn to what can be measured, assured
by the tangibly quantifiable, excited by the
solidity of facts. With this approach, you’ll help
someone make sense of the world.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ll look
ahead and begin work on problems before
your need to do so becomes urgent. Your
next breakthrough idea will be inspired by
something that is outside what you’d normally
be exposed to.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). It’s nice to
feel comfortable, but it’s not necessary or
even particularly common, especially among
people of merit. You and the others of strong
character consider comfort to be a luxury if
not a warning signal.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The issue only exists
when your mind’s eye zooms into the close
view. Zoom out to the panorama and you’ll
see that that help is on the way, opportunities
are nearing, and success is on the horizon!
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Recognize what
drains your self-control, and patch up the area
to prevent future leaks. Unhappy relationships
are a main drain, since you tend to take on
the emotions of the people you are around.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Don’t try; do!
Trying is for regrettable obligations. If you can’t
get totally behind it, drop it. Your resistance to
free yourself is based in fear. What you should
really be afraid of is wasting everyone’s time.
Be bold.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (May 13). Your
optimism has excellent grounding, and you’ll
get hard proof of this over the next seven
weeks. Friendships, even those not related
to your work, will cause you to be hugely pro-
ductive and richer, too. There’s an unspoken
contract that begins this month and com-
pletes one full circle by October. Sagittarius
and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky numbers
are: 6, 10, 4, 44 and 14.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The demonstrative
elation upon arriving at a goal almost always
happens in movies. In real life the dramatic
payoff will be replaced by quiet but profound
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE