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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (May 11, 2017)
6A FEATURES Seeking relationship closure Dear Annie: I feel like a cli- Jon seemed to get this and began che. About a year and a half ago, moving on, too. But I never could after six years of dating, “Jon” and have guessed how quickly he’d I broke up — or more accurately, move on. He started seeing a woman Jon broke up with me. It blindsided me, especially he’d met on a dating site, and because I had just relocated with within three months, they were engaged. Their wed- him to another state about DEAR ding is next month. And a month earlier. He said as much as I’m happy he was having personal ANNIE — I’m in a new rela- issues and just wanted to tionship myself — I still be alone. He was drink- sometimes dwell on how ing a lot and seemed things ended with my really depressed at the ex. And I don’t get how time. I tried encouraging he never proposed to me him to seek professional after six years but it took help, but he refused. I Lane him only three months continued calling him Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. to pop the question to a periodically at first to woman who was practi- check in and see whether he was doing OK. But I wanted to cally a stranger. I know it’s silly, respect his wishes, and he didn’t but I even have thoughts like, seem interested in getting back “Was I so horrible that anyone together, so I slowly began the who came after me seemed like process of healing and moving on. immediate marriage material?” About six months later, I And I feel this sense of unfin- started hearing from him again. ished business because I never did He sent me gifts in the mail, refer- tell him how much he hurt me. I ences to inside jokes we’d shared don’t think he knows, because over the years. He began call- he invited me to the wedding. (I ing a lot. I kept meaning to call respectfully declined.) Do you him back, but for some reason, think that calling him or writing I didn’t. Things were just differ- him a letter just to have one final ent. I had started developing feel- conversation would give me some ings for someone else. Eventually, sense of closure? — Conflicted Dear Conflicted: Perhaps the cheapest form of therapy is put- ting thoughts down on paper. So write Jon a letter, but don’t send it. Instead, use it as a space to work out your feelings and figure out what’s really stopping you from moving on. Closure is a gift we can only give to ourselves. Dear Annie: As a retired pas- tor with over 40 years of ministry, may I suggest another response to “Trying to Save Our Church,” who wrote in about two people causing problems in her church? If her church is part of a larger denomination, she could sug- gest help from a denominational leader, such as a bishop or super- intendent. Having dealt with trou- blemakers such as the ones she described, I have found that such people or couples can and do cause significant damage to the harmony of a congregation. — Reverend Barron Dear Reverend: I was sur- prised by how many read- ers wrote in and mentioned that they’d dealt with similar prob- lems at their churches. I’m print- ing your helpful, practical tip here because apparently, there are a lot of troublemakers out there! Thank you, Reverend. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, MAY 11, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). The promise you make without saying the words “I promise” will be the easiest to keep. An action comes natu- rally, produces mutually satisfying results, and sets up an expectation that both will benefit from fleshing out. the entire organism. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Love is accep- tance. People who love you won’t ask you to change who you are in order to suit their purposes. They may make requests, but their re- quests will not require you to be someone else. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). If it seems too good to be true, maybe you just haven’t worked out what’s in it for the other person yet. Dig deeper. Ask more questions. Figure that part out, because it’s very important. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re multifaceted; it’s true. And yet you’re still very clear about who you are at any given moment, even in the tran- sitional moments of becoming the next iteration of yourself. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Contrary to the old saying, you absolutely can judge a book by the cover. Obviously you won’t know the whole story, but you’ll certainly get a feel for the tone, genre and sensibility of what’s inside. Trust your first impression. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Forgetfulness and obliviousness benefit you today. It might help you be more productive if you think of focusing as simply ignoring everything that’s not what you want to accomplish. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You’ll make plans. The more realistic you are about the cost of things (monetarily and energetically) the more suc- cessful your plan will be. Be sure and take into account every existing commitment you have in every area of life. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll be involved in the type of project or goal that seems quite impossible to accomplish — until it is accom- plished, and then it will seem de rigueur. Right now it just needs a little more mind and elbow grease, that’s all. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Pruning seems counterintuitive. Why cut healthy branches when the goal is growth? And yet, many generations of humans have known that making cuts can aid in maintaining the health and longevity of FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Everyone needs attention, and many will take to the brand you’re giving now. You have a way of making people feel special. Some might call it flirting, though really you’re just inclined toward congeniality. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Socially aware, you’re usually careful not to make things all about you. You think it’s rude to draw too much attention. Today you don’t have to worry, though: You’re supposed to be the central character in this story. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). As much as you’d like to compartmentalize your life, personal commitments affect your energy just as much as work commitments do. You can afford to be choosy now about what you take on. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (May 12). You will be respected by many and widely praised and cherished by your inner circle. The second half of the year will be spent assimilating the exciting events of the warp-speed first half. Younger peo- ple will make your heart glad. Responsibilities will change in August. October is where your artful talents get featured. Capricorn and Cancer adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 7, 19, 30, 44 and 15.
