6A
FEATURES
Seeking relationship closure
Dear Annie: I feel like a cli- Jon seemed to get this and began
che. About a year and a half ago, moving on, too. But I never could
after six years of dating, “Jon” and have guessed how quickly he’d
I broke up — or more accurately, move on.
He started seeing a woman
Jon broke up with me.
It blindsided me, especially he’d met on a dating site, and
because I had just relocated with within three months, they were
engaged. Their wed-
him to another state about
DEAR
ding is next month. And
a month earlier. He said
as much as I’m happy
he was having personal
ANNIE
— I’m in a new rela-
issues and just wanted to
tionship myself — I still
be alone. He was drink-
sometimes dwell on how
ing a lot and seemed
things ended with my
really depressed at the
ex. And I don’t get how
time. I tried encouraging
he never proposed to me
him to seek professional
after six years but it took
help, but he refused. I
Lane
him only three months
continued calling him Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
to pop the question to a
periodically at first to
woman who was practi-
check in and see whether
he was doing OK. But I wanted to cally a stranger. I know it’s silly,
respect his wishes, and he didn’t but I even have thoughts like,
seem interested in getting back “Was I so horrible that anyone
together, so I slowly began the who came after me seemed like
process of healing and moving on. immediate marriage material?”
About six months later, I And I feel this sense of unfin-
started hearing from him again. ished business because I never did
He sent me gifts in the mail, refer- tell him how much he hurt me. I
ences to inside jokes we’d shared don’t think he knows, because
over the years. He began call- he invited me to the wedding. (I
ing a lot. I kept meaning to call respectfully declined.) Do you
him back, but for some reason, think that calling him or writing
I didn’t. Things were just differ- him a letter just to have one final
ent. I had started developing feel- conversation would give me some
ings for someone else. Eventually, sense of closure? — Conflicted
Dear Conflicted: Perhaps the
cheapest form of therapy is put-
ting thoughts down on paper. So
write Jon a letter, but don’t send it.
Instead, use it as a space to work
out your feelings and figure out
what’s really stopping you from
moving on. Closure is a gift we
can only give to ourselves.
Dear Annie: As a retired pas-
tor with over 40 years of ministry,
may I suggest another response
to “Trying to Save Our Church,”
who wrote in about two people
causing problems in her church?
If her church is part of a larger
denomination, she could sug-
gest help from a denominational
leader, such as a bishop or super-
intendent. Having dealt with trou-
blemakers such as the ones she
described, I have found that such
people or couples can and do
cause significant damage to the
harmony of a congregation. —
Reverend Barron
Dear Reverend: I was sur-
prised by how many read-
ers wrote in and mentioned that
they’d dealt with similar prob-
lems at their churches. I’m print-
ing your helpful, practical tip here
because apparently, there are a lot
of troublemakers out there! Thank
you, Reverend.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, MAY 11, 2017
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). The promise you
make without saying the words “I promise” will
be the easiest to keep. An action comes natu-
rally, produces mutually satisfying results, and
sets up an expectation that both will benefit from
fleshing out.
the entire organism.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Love is accep-
tance. People who love you won’t ask you
to change who you are in order to suit their
purposes. They may make requests, but their re-
quests will not require you to be someone else.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). If it seems
too good to be true, maybe you just haven’t
worked out what’s in it for the other person yet.
Dig deeper. Ask more questions. Figure that part
out, because it’s very important.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re multifaceted;
it’s true. And yet you’re still very clear about who
you are at any given moment, even in the tran-
sitional moments of becoming the next iteration
of yourself.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Contrary to the
old saying, you absolutely can judge a book by
the cover. Obviously you won’t know the whole
story, but you’ll certainly get a feel for the tone,
genre and sensibility of what’s inside. Trust your
first impression.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Forgetfulness and
obliviousness benefit you today. It might help
you be more productive if you think of focusing
as simply ignoring everything that’s not what
you want to accomplish.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You’ll make plans. The
more realistic you are about the cost of things
(monetarily and energetically) the more suc-
cessful your plan will be. Be sure and take into
account every existing commitment you have in
every area of life.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll be involved
in the type of project or goal that seems quite
impossible to accomplish — until it is accom-
plished, and then it will seem de rigueur. Right
now it just needs a little more mind and elbow
grease, that’s all.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Pruning seems
counterintuitive. Why cut healthy branches when
the goal is growth? And yet, many generations
of humans have known that making cuts can
aid in maintaining the health and longevity of
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Everyone needs
attention, and many will take to the brand you’re
giving now. You have a way of making people
feel special. Some might call it flirting, though
really you’re just inclined toward congeniality.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Socially aware,
you’re usually careful not to make things all
about you. You think it’s rude to draw too much
attention. Today you don’t have to worry, though:
You’re supposed to be the central character in
this story.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). As much as you’d
like to compartmentalize your life, personal
commitments affect your energy just as much
as work commitments do. You can afford to be
choosy now about what you take on.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (May 12). You will
be respected by many and widely praised and
cherished by your inner circle. The second half
of the year will be spent assimilating the exciting
events of the warp-speed first half. Younger peo-
ple will make your heart glad. Responsibilities
will change in August. October is where your
artful talents get featured. Capricorn and Cancer
adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 7, 19, 30, 44
and 15.