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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (April 25, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, APRIL 25, 2017 FEATURES Trying to solve a surprise rift Dear Annie: My question around, and we never addressed is urgent and can’t wait. I don’t it. We thought that the reason he declined our invitations was that know what to do. My best friend is suffer- he was busy working. Now we ing from a quick and aggressive know he is still uncomfortable form of ovarian cancer. We don’t with us. She probably didn’t tell know how much longer she has us because she was embarrassed. If there were time to and suspect it won’t be DEAR be mad, I would be so long. For more than 25 mad. We would have years, I have talked to her ANNIE made it right if we had at least four times a week known he was harbor- and seen her at least once ing this type of resent- a week. She has been an ment. We could have active participant in my made sure everyone was entire family life and is OK. Now she is proba- beloved by my spouse, bly dying, and we aren’t children and extended Lane there with her. family. We are all taking Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. There was a time this news extremely hard. when we would have The hole in our lives is been the people he would have huge. About 10 years ago, there was called for any kind of help. We a rumor that she and my husband moved the furniture, chopped the had a thing. It was small-town trees, patched the driveway, etc. jealousy of the fact that the four We were the best friends when he of us had happy lives. If we had needed us to be and out of sight lived anywhere else, it would not and out of mind the rest of the have been an issue to have oppo- time, I guess. How do we fix this before it site-sex friendships. Small towns where people don’t move away is too late? He is controlling of focus on anything that seems time and visitors and not recep- tive right now. We don’t want to interesting. We thought it was all fine, but go behind his back and want to it now seems her husband never make this right. This is so heart- was OK with it. He quit coming breaking to all. The few family members who have been able to see her say she is depressed and so sad about the loss of control of her life and feels trapped and dependent. I miss my best friend and don’t know how to make this better for everyone. What do you suggest to heal this rift I didn’t realize was this deep? Don’t want my heart to die, too. — Love My Friend Dear Love: If ever there was a time to heal this rift, it’s now. Call her husband. Empathize with the complicated emotions he’s no doubt feeling. He may have seized onto this issue as some- thing external on which he could project all his anger over his wife’s illness. Whatever his rea- sons, remind him that a grudge hurts the person holding it. And if he’s so attached to the pain that he doesn’t want to let go, that’s his own prerogative. He can stay angry. But he can’t force his wife to be part of that anger. Implore him, for her sake, to allow you to visit. If he feels uncomfortable, he can leave the house for a few hours while you’re there. Ulti- mately, if you want to see your best friend and she wants to see you, go see her — with or with- out his permission. 5A TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). If you’re in a disagreement with a friend, it’s all you’ll be able to think about until the issue is resolved. So resolve it quickly. Plain and simple, all is healed by hugs; there’s no better relief than a heart-to-heart embrace. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Reason may be powerless in the poetry of love, but it works wonders to sort out the details of a shared lifestyle. The thing currently impeding free-flowing love is a logistical matter. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’ve been watching out for a chance to show someone how much he or she means to you. You’ll now have the perfect opportunity to give from the heart and be received as such. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your social life can’t be sorted out with a quiz, questionnaire, profile or series of hypothetical imaginings. At most, you can “match” with someone online, but you won’t know if there’s real chemistry until you’re face to face. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Experiments aren’t just for scientists. You already know what will happen when you try things the way you have in the past. Now you want to know what will happen when you try things totally differently — or better yet, when you don’t try them at all! CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’re charming, well-liked and imperfect. Don’t let early obstacles and false starts dissuade you. You’re just getting warmed up! Sometimes it just takes a few tries before your ideas and methods are accepted. CANCER (June 22-July 22). This isn’t a fairy tale. There won’t be a hero or someone who needs saving. The roles are complex and nuanced. And the ending is wide open. You get to decide. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). When you don’t have as much experience as the others, you have to work harder, be more original and have superior powers of diplomacy. There’s a way to defer to the big shots and still be powerful in your own right. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Aiming for a new lev- el of accomplishment, you’ll discover that this pursuit isn’t for amateurs. It’s actually more of a lifestyle than a game at these higher levels. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll respect- fully go forward with a pretty ambitious aim. When someone pushes back, consider that this may be a test, a tease or the reaction of threatened competition. Analyze carefully before you proceed. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The news can be like the sound of an oncoming storm: frightening, even though you’re warm indoors and there’s very little chance of the weather affecting you anytime soon. You’re going to be fine. You are protected. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Some together- ness brings an excited buzz. Other togetherness is more like a dreadful drone. You’ll be in tune with the music of relationships and, even better, able to change the station when you need to. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (April 26). You’ll connect with someone who has a similar inner drive to accomplish a joint goal in May. You’ve been generous, so when it’s your turn to be on the receiving end in June, relax and accept. Celebrations (especially formal ones) will bring lucky opportunities. Your family grows, and financial success follows the spurt. Libra and Gemini adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 9, 34, 3, 31 and 16.