THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, APRIL 25, 2017
FEATURES
Trying to solve a surprise rift
Dear Annie: My question around, and we never addressed
is urgent and can’t wait. I don’t it. We thought that the reason he
declined our invitations was that
know what to do.
My best friend is suffer- he was busy working. Now we
ing from a quick and aggressive know he is still uncomfortable
form of ovarian cancer. We don’t with us. She probably didn’t tell
know how much longer she has us because she was embarrassed.
If there were time to
and suspect it won’t be
DEAR
be mad, I would be so
long. For more than 25
mad. We would have
years, I have talked to her
ANNIE
made it right if we had
at least four times a week
known he was harbor-
and seen her at least once
ing this type of resent-
a week. She has been an
ment. We could have
active participant in my
made sure everyone was
entire family life and is
OK. Now she is proba-
beloved by my spouse,
bly dying, and we aren’t
children and extended
Lane
there with her.
family. We are all taking Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
There was a time
this news extremely hard.
when we would have
The hole in our lives is
been the people he would have
huge.
About 10 years ago, there was called for any kind of help. We
a rumor that she and my husband moved the furniture, chopped the
had a thing. It was small-town trees, patched the driveway, etc.
jealousy of the fact that the four We were the best friends when he
of us had happy lives. If we had needed us to be and out of sight
lived anywhere else, it would not and out of mind the rest of the
have been an issue to have oppo- time, I guess.
How do we fix this before it
site-sex friendships. Small towns
where people don’t move away is too late? He is controlling of
focus on anything that seems time and visitors and not recep-
tive right now. We don’t want to
interesting.
We thought it was all fine, but go behind his back and want to
it now seems her husband never make this right. This is so heart-
was OK with it. He quit coming breaking to all. The few family
members who have been able to
see her say she is depressed and
so sad about the loss of control
of her life and feels trapped and
dependent.
I miss my best friend and don’t
know how to make this better for
everyone. What do you suggest to
heal this rift I didn’t realize was
this deep? Don’t want my heart to
die, too. — Love My Friend
Dear Love: If ever there was
a time to heal this rift, it’s now.
Call her husband. Empathize with
the complicated emotions he’s
no doubt feeling. He may have
seized onto this issue as some-
thing external on which he could
project all his anger over his
wife’s illness. Whatever his rea-
sons, remind him that a grudge
hurts the person holding it. And
if he’s so attached to the pain that
he doesn’t want to let go, that’s
his own prerogative. He can stay
angry. But he can’t force his wife
to be part of that anger. Implore
him, for her sake, to allow you to
visit. If he feels uncomfortable,
he can leave the house for a few
hours while you’re there. Ulti-
mately, if you want to see your
best friend and she wants to see
you, go see her — with or with-
out his permission.
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). If you’re in a
disagreement with a friend, it’s all you’ll be
able to think about until the issue is resolved.
So resolve it quickly. Plain and simple, all is
healed by hugs; there’s no better relief than a
heart-to-heart embrace.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Reason may
be powerless in the poetry of love, but it
works wonders to sort out the details of a
shared lifestyle. The thing currently impeding
free-flowing love is a logistical matter.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’ve been
watching out for a chance to show someone
how much he or she means to you. You’ll
now have the perfect opportunity to give
from the heart and be received as such.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your
social life can’t be sorted out with a quiz,
questionnaire, profile or series of hypothetical
imaginings. At most, you can “match” with
someone online, but you won’t know if there’s
real chemistry until you’re face to face.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Experiments aren’t
just for scientists. You already know what will
happen when you try things the way you have
in the past. Now you want to know what will
happen when you try things totally differently —
or better yet, when you don’t try them at all!
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’re
charming, well-liked and imperfect. Don’t let
early obstacles and false starts dissuade you.
You’re just getting warmed up! Sometimes it
just takes a few tries before your ideas and
methods are accepted.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). This isn’t a
fairy tale. There won’t be a hero or someone
who needs saving. The roles are complex
and nuanced. And the ending is wide open.
You get to decide.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). When you
don’t have as much experience as the others,
you have to work harder, be more original
and have superior powers of diplomacy.
There’s a way to defer to the big shots and
still be powerful in your own right.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Aiming for a new lev-
el of accomplishment, you’ll discover that this
pursuit isn’t for amateurs. It’s actually more of
a lifestyle than a game at these higher levels.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll respect-
fully go forward with a pretty ambitious aim.
When someone pushes back, consider that
this may be a test, a tease or the reaction
of threatened competition. Analyze carefully
before you proceed.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The news can
be like the sound of an oncoming storm:
frightening, even though you’re warm indoors
and there’s very little chance of the weather
affecting you anytime soon. You’re going to
be fine. You are protected.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Some together-
ness brings an excited buzz. Other togetherness
is more like a dreadful drone. You’ll be in tune
with the music of relationships and, even better,
able to change the station when you need to.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (April 26). You’ll
connect with someone who has a similar
inner drive to accomplish a joint goal in May.
You’ve been generous, so when it’s your
turn to be on the receiving end in June, relax
and accept. Celebrations (especially formal
ones) will bring lucky opportunities. Your
family grows, and financial success follows
the spurt. Libra and Gemini adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 9, 34, 3, 31 and 16.