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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (April 6, 2017)
6A FEATURES How can I get out of a slump? Dear Annie: My husband of stroke, fell and broke his ribs, and 44 years passed away from com- fell off his four-wheeler and broke plications of Alzheimer’s disease. his hip. He also ended up in the I cared for him at home for years. hospital twice last year because He was 79 when he passed away; of his drinking. He told me that he I was 71. We were extremely close loved me and always would. and had a wonderful life together. One day, he told me he was beginning to feel smoth- Sometime after my DEAR husband’s passing, a ered by our relationship and felt it was best we friend whom I had dated ANNIE in high school got in not talk so much. I was touch with me. He asked shocked. I had given him whether he could drive a Bible and devotional over for a short visit. I books and invested time finally consented. He is in him hoping he would divorced and has two get his life straightened children. We became out. Lane friends again, and he vis- Annie He wants to keep stay- Creators Syndicate Inc. ing in contact. It makes ited again. He called, tex- me uncomfortable, and ted and was very attentive overall. I met his children and vis- I feel that he lies often, as I have caught him in several lies. He said ited with them. But then he wouldn’t call he didn’t want to lose me. I think for days, even though he said he he is narcissistic and thinks it’s would. When I didn’t hear, I was fine to call when he wants to, and I genuinely concerned. Eventually, don’t think he wants to have to be I found out he was drinking. As there for me when I want to talk. I time passed, his behavior changed. see a pattern with him. He does it He became critical of little things, to others, too. I can’t believe I didn’t see what insinuating that he liked me better when I didn’t have my glasses on type of person he is. What can I do or commenting that he noticed that to get myself out of the slump I am my arthritis caused me not to get in? I have had other men invite me to go places, but I have no desire around as well, etc. In the meantime, he had a mini to date. I did see a counselor for a while, but she has retired. She used to say he’s “a drunk” who won’t get any better until he does something about his drinking. I do have many friends and am fortunate, although lately, I have withdrawn from others. I know this is not good or normal. What do you suggest? — Feeling Guilty and Remorseful Dear Feeling: Until he gets his life straightened out, this man is not fit to be anyone’s romantic partner — especially not yours, as you seem to have the type of per- sonality to want to care for and fix broken people. Though that desire is admirable in and of itself, it steps perfectly in time with the dance of addiction. You always rescue him, and he always gives you more rescue missions. That you’re withdrawing from others is a sign of codependence. You need to quit the relationship cold turkey. Force yourself to spend time with friends, even if you don’t feel like it yet. If counseling was help- ful to you, find a new counselor. The good news is that you seem to have a handle on the situation already. Now you just need to start steering. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, APRIL 6, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). It will be a pret- ty ordinary day until you suddenly get a very palpable feeling of generosity. You’ll give something that matters to you greatly. You’ll give something that makes a difference. today than you were yesterday. You’ll accept it and move accordingly. Like a drummer settling into a favorite beat, you’ll hit your groove. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You might have to root around for something to look forward to. It’s sad that you have to look this hard; then again, your options will be better because you made the effort. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). It’s been suggested that the present moment is all we ever have. But isn’t that a lot of pressure, really? What about the less impulsive peo- ple around who need time to process and frame things? GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re not always your own best babysitter. Enlist the care of others. The influence of someone you admire will keep you accountable to goals that would not be reached otherwise. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You don’t want to interrupt people, and yet you’re going to have to. Your message is important. Your purpose is strong. Go ahead and say what you need to say. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You want a place that shines from ceiling to floor. Bonus benefit: With each sweeping gesture of the broom, cobwebs of your mind will be simul- taneously whisked away. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ve a need to gripe about what’s been bothering you. Once you get it off of your mind, the stress will be over. The key is speaking to the right people — discreet people who won’t give it another thought. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Fix it. Fix it! It needs fixing and you’re the one to do it. “How?” is the question. You won’t know the answer, but your sincere intention is nearly enough to fix it all. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You are super-capable. You have more energy than others, and you don’t mind doing extra work. This is why you become the superstar of your group today, a well-earned scenario. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You identify with a group, but not in all regards. Differentiate. If you align yourself falsely, it will cause problems down the line. Clarify. Take a stand. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). If you were wrong, it only means that you are wiser FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). It’s said that nothing considered is lost. If you thought about it, it had an effect. It meant something. And the same goes for the art you made that didn’t have the intended impact. It still did something. Move on and grow. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (April 7). To some, silence is a hobby. Consider it yours and this year will have a magical tint to it. There is something so wonderful about what you find in your own mind this solar return. You will do the thing that the others can’t. In June you will be the reason a whole system is changed. In May it becomes about something else. Cancer and Capri- corn adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 9, 30, 4, 7 and 17.